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RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 11:38:12 PM

SamKeithsslave

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I noticed... Can we turn this into a I Spy contest?

Actually a few did, I really need to read a whole thread before responding - LOL

It's ok. But we really could turn this into an I Spy contest. Find the flaw in this relationship! *chuckles* Even if the marriage is an open one and his wife is entirely approving of this, when you are messing with a married man you have to accept that you are beta and he is probably going to be taking care of his marriage first. If this is a time of stress, he will attending to the relationship with his wife and children (if there are any) and then to her.

I hope his wife is aware of the relationship and accepting of it also, otherwise it may get messy, or should I say messier?

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RE: more attention - 11/16/2006 11:43:34 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

I hope his wife is aware of the relationship and accepting of it also, otherwise it may get messy, or should I say messier?

Many a man cheats on his wife, kinky and otherwise. Many a woman is stupid enough to believe his wife really is a harpy, that he really is going to leave her soon. Sometimes they do leave their wives but you know what? If they really care about you then they will respect you when you say you won't start a relationship with them until they show you divorce papers. And then there are the woman who just don't care that he is married, because it's not their problem right? Those are the ones I hate the most. Selfish to the point of helping a man destroy a family. Then again, this is a subject that strikes home.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 11/16/2006 11:48:40 PM >

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 12:15:09 AM

SamKeithsslave

Posts: 322
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From: Melbourne, Australia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

I hope his wife is aware of the relationship and accepting of it also, otherwise it may get messy, or should I say messier?

Many a man cheats on his wife, kinky and otherwise. Many a woman is stupid enough to believe his wife really is a harpy, that he really is going to leave her soon. Sometimes they do leave their wives but you know what? If they really care about you then they will respect you when you say you won't start a relationship with them until they show you divorce papers. And then there are the woman who just don't care that he is married, because it's not their problem right? Those are the ones I hate the most. Selfish to the point of helping a man destroy a family. Then again, this is a subject that strikes home.

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 12:19:00 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Many a man cheats on his wife, kinky and otherwise. Many a woman is stupid enough to believe his wife really is a harpy, that he really is going to leave her soon. Sometimes they do leave their wives but you know what? If they really care about you then they will respect you when you say you won't start a relationship with them until they show you divorce papers. And then there are the woman who just don't care that he is married, because it's not their problem right? Those are the ones I hate the most. Selfish to the point of helping a man destroy a family. Then again, this is a subject that strikes home.

I have never wittingly been involved with a married man. And the ones who have managed to fool me havent been able to do so for too long, there are many telltale signs. As soon as I found out I stopped all communications.
.

I just can't manage to understand why a woman would want to be involved with a married man. Why would anyone want that?

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 12:23:04 AM

SamKeithsslave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

I have never wittingly been involved with a married man. And the ones who have managed to fool me havent been able to do so for too long, there are many telltale signs. As soon as I found out I stopped all communications.
.

I just can't manage to understand why a woman would want to be involved with a married man. Why would anyone want that?

I believe those who are not trying to get the man to leave his wife enjoy the fact they get only the "best bits" of a relationship without the baggage, concerns and arguements associated wth a full on relationship. Personally when I want a man I want all of him, warts and all

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 5:04:21 AM

LeatherBentOne

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It's not about you. Use your energy to make life easier for him and be of service to him during this transition rather than thinking only of your wants. He needs you to be strong, patient and understanding. Show him that his needs are more important than your wants and it will all come back to you. That's what's meant of the power exchange. Delight and please him by not making this harder than it has to be by being unselfish and I have a feeling your reward will come. Patience. This too shall pass. Be all you can be and best wishes.

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 6:45:00 AM

gypsygrl

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sexysweetslave, I can't help but feel for you. I was involved with a married man and because of the difficulties inherant in both of our situation, got to the point where I wanted more from him than he could give. And, even if he could give me what I wanted, I wasn't in a position to accept it. It felt like a no win situation. What happened, and what I'm thinking you're starting to feel, is I realized he only phoned me when we were having some kind of conflict, and I started to feel the temptation to create conflict just so he would call me. I was definitely moving into a sam zone.

I can't tell you what you should do. All I can do is tell you how I handled my situation. After trying to talk to him about it, the only thing I could think to do was distance myself from him and try to find other things to do with my time and energy because I really didn't want to cause him any trouble and felt I had already made his life hard enough. So, that's what I did.

As to the question of why someone would get involved with a married man, I don't know. I can't speak for anyone but myself, and I'm not clear on my own motives. I suppose it was for the same reason that I used to play sex games in the neighborhood when I was a little kid even though I knew it was wrong. The same reasons I used to do drugs and shop lift. I liked doing those things. So, with my married lover, I guess first it was because I needed him and he wanted me. Then I loved him. Nothing else seemed to matter as much. So, I guess I was being selfish.

I don't know. But, I wish you well, sexysweetslave. :)

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 6:57:05 AM

MzTlaz

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It certainly sounds as if the wife is clueless and the guy is cheating. This is something that really bugs me. I can't stand cheaters but cheaters in the Lifestyle are worse.....a married person has a contract with someone and if that someone does not know what is going on then that contract is being broken. Not only is the married person ignoring that they are doing something without the consent of their legal partner (typically they spout SSC rules) but they are showing that their word or contract with anyone means absolutely nothing. So...what self respecting submissive or Dominant would want anything to do with such a person? What's betting that cheating is a hard limit for the spouse? One hard limit broken....would you trust a person like this with your limits?

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 7:13:03 AM

theRose4U

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quote:

I just can't manage to understand why a woman would want to be involved with a married man. Why would anyone want that?

Self abuse can take many forms. By dating married men they are never "worthy" of a full relationship where they might have to fully obey and open up about ALL their inner demons. Where they might be considered the best in a dom's world. Unfortunately if you've been told you're trash, unworthy, or less than, long enough some still continue that cycle by believing it and sabatoging their own success.

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 11/17/2006 7:23:07 AM >

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 7:53:40 AM

Arpig

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Well...I responded to her other thread on the same topic (which has now been pulled) in which the fact that her Master was married was not revealed. So I will amend my previous statements slightly.

quote:

My Master and I just stopped working together this week (he switched jobs). Since then, he is not giving me the attention I need. I know he's busy, but I want to be bad to get the attention, which I need lots of. Any suggestions?

Suck it up Princess!

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 8:47:52 AM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzTlaz
One hard limit broken....would you trust a person like this with your limits?

An excellent way of putting it. Why would you date a man you know is to disrespecting his partner and breaking her trust one of the worst possible ways? Cheating is one of the most terrible things you can do to a do a person. Why would you want to a man who is capable of doing that to someone he even used to love?

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 11:28:38 AM

slavemaia

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexysweetslave

I feel like he's not being very considerate and he doesn't care.

When i feel like this i sit down with myself and ask am i seeking to give or to get? i think the answer is obvious. i do communicate openly with my Master when i'm struggling with anything, but ultimately He can only do what He can do. Once i communicate my desires and or, what i think are my needs, i have to surrender all of it. That means stop asking, don't manipulate, and just accept His time, His way etc.

If He's already stressed, He doesn't need more from me. i find focusing on giving works best and in the long run typically delivers what i really need anyway. Yet, i have to say being involved with a married man, well, how much attention did you think you'd be getting?

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RE: more attention - 11/17/2006 2:10:11 PM

lilmado

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OK...
Like I said before, I really understand you want his attention. I feel you so much...but I guess you have to realize the fact that he is married and he just chaged the job...At least, about the job, it will be all right once he gets used to his new job, right? So I guess you should be patient until he gets over it...you don't wanna give him a trouble when he has enough...

Honestly, I am not offecding you. I understand you so much. You sounds just like me 1 or 2 monthes ago...I was getting crazy and started weeping when I hadn't heared from him like a week...but one day he told me that my acting like that was stressing him out. Hearing that, I shamed on myself so much cause that was the last thing I wanted to do. Since then, I've been trying to be patient so hard. My owner travels over the country so much, and he rarely has time spend time for me...I haven't seen him like 2 monthes and haven't talked with him like weeks since he's been traveling around so much lately and because of my poor english (I'm japanse)we rarely talk on the phone...He's never gonna change his job, so I am not sure how long I can keep doing this...but trying not to worry about it too much...rather trying to take it easy...

Don't you feel like you can wait, listening my not seening my owener like 2 months?