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What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 6:40:08 PM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline 		i am going to meet other people in the lifestyle this weekend for the first time and the dress code is Goth/vanilla as its in an ordinary pub. i'm nervous and don't want to look stupid - i've only ever been out to non BDSM events with Master where i dressed very casually, and at home i am not to wear clothing. i do have Gothish gear but don't want to look like i'm trying to be a Domme, is there any clothing which would be considered inappropriate for a sub? (like certain types of boots or corsets for example?).
Of course i will be in one of Master's collars and He will have to approve my outfit before we go but as He has never been to a BDSM meet up either He said i should ask here for advice on my clothing options. As far as His clothing, He always dresses smart Goth anyway and of course He can wear whatever He wants,
Thanks,
wench


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 6:49:29 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		medievalwench,
 
I may sound like a broken record but why not ask your Master what he would like you to wear?
 
I would suggest avoiding "fetish gear" if it is only a casual meet in greet. Other than that wear what your Master and you are comfortable with you wearing.
 
Edited to add: I know my Master LOVES for me to dress in skirts, no panties, a nice low cut top or corset, and my thigh high boots are manditory. Domme look or submissive look? I don't know or really care. I do know he finds it pleasing to his eyes.  


< Message edited by nikaa -- 11/16/2006 6:53:30 PM >

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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 7:00:04 PM   
BitaTruble


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From: Texas
Status: offline 		There isn't any one article of clothing that is dominant specific so if you just remember not to carry a crop around with you, you'll be fine. My rule of thumb for going out is casual class if it's evening, casual comfort if it's daytime. Since your dominant is going to be dressed up a little, I'd probably avoid a goth/grunge look and dress up a bit as well. Save the torn fish nets for another time. ;)

Celeste

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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 7:05:00 PM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline 		Thankyou nikaa, i did ask Master and He said He does not know what would be appropriate as He has not been in the situation before, which was why i posted.
He is happy for me to wear whatever i wish as He chose all of my wardrobe, so He said as long as i am smart and don't have too much makeup on its fine by Him. i will try on some outfits beforehand and ask which He prefers i think, as far as clothing He is not that interested generally, it is my hair and makeup that He is most concerned about the style of, for example, He does not like me to wear my hair loose around others, only in the house.
i will most likely wear the new corset He bought me and ankle boots which are a bit fetish as they have chains and locks on them but were actually from a children's section in the store! i think i am just nervous about first impressions, i get that way around new people in ordinary life as i'm really shy.
Thankyou again,
wench


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 7:12:42 PM   
nikaa


Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline 		medievalwench,
 
From what I have seen you have a wonderful personality and are able to pesent yourself in a manner that says alot of postive things about you. Please don't take my suggestion to ask him as a negative thing,simply seemed like the obvious and natural answer to me.
 
I love nights out because I get to play dress up for my Master to figure out what he likes more if he doesn't have an outfit picked out before hand.
 
But remember to enjoy yourself and to tease your Master bunches in subtle ways!!!


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Phoenix's Nika


The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.


Wakan Tankan Nici Un




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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 7:59:48 PM   
AlexAussieSub


Posts: 70
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Status: offline 		Why not just wear all black? It's OK for both BDSM and vanilla events.

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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 9:16:59 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Most often I wear blue jeans and a green blouse these days and my partner wears blue jeans and either a polo or a tshirt since most munches are at casual dining places.  I giggle and play a game to guess how many people wear black and give myself a treat for every time I'm within 5 or fewer.

My very first munch I wore a black skirt and a burgundy satin blouse- but my owner at the time dressed me.



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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 9:29:46 PM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
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Status: offline 		At my first munch I wore jeans, a nice shirt and my "vanilla" collar (a french toggle clasp necklace).  The munch was at a pub so it was very low key in terms of fetish/kink appearance.  I would suggest that you wear something comfortable since I would imagine you'll be nervous enough as it is, and being bothered by your clothing would not help.

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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 9:34:08 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
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Status: offline 		Black boots, black pants, black belt, black shirt, black leather vest. 

Did I miss anything?   Well, if I did, just make it black. 



Oh, forgot to add...be sure to bring a pack of Marlboro reds with you! 


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/16/2006 11:39:09 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
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From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Goth = black. Wear all black and you will be just fine.

Master Fire


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 1:32:13 AM   
eyesopened


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From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline 		we females have a general tendancy toward worrying about how we are dressed, secretly feeling competition with the other women who will be there when in reality there will always be someone who is better dressed and someone who is dressed worse.  So follow the good advice already given.  Wear what makes you feel good.  If it's black, great.  If not, don't worry about it, wear what makes you feel good and i'm sure that will be approved by your Master as well.  Now, if what makes you feel good is pink chiffon, you may not look goth but i guarantee no one at the event will care.

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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 3:46:20 AM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

There isn't any one article of clothing that is dominant specific so if you just remember not to carry a crop around with you, you'll be fine. My rule of thumb for going out is casual class if it's evening, casual comfort if it's daytime.

<g> Master's crops will be staying at home, i am not allowed to touch them at all without His permission anyway; He got an amazing one in the mail this morning, i am really looking forward to it - especially as He gave me a single swish across my back as i left the room; i'm seriously in suspense now :0)
your rule of thumb is very helpful, that makes a lot of sense, thankyou.


Since your dominant is going to be dressed up a little, I'd probably avoid a goth/grunge look and dress up a bit as well. Save the torn fish nets for another time. ;)

Celeste


i won't go for the full on Goth look, Master has suggested a velvet dress with an underbust corset; my fishnets and chunky boots will stay home, and i will probably wear girly heels or boots. i don't often get the chance to look a bit glam as Master just has my naked at home and in a t-shirt and tailored trousers or jeans during the day so it will be fun to do something a bit classier.
i will have to watch it on the makeup front as i don't really wear much usually so i have to make sure i don't go overboard - i've made U/us late before when i've put on too much eyeshadow and been told to wash it off and reapply.

Thankyou for your advice, its really helpful,
wench


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 3:59:49 AM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nikaa

medievalwench,
 
From what I have seen you have a wonderful personality and are able to pesent yourself in a manner that says alot of postive things about you. Please don't take my suggestion to ask him as a negative thing,simply seemed like the obvious and natural answer to me.

Oh, not, i didn't think it was negative at all and thankyou sooo much for the compliments, you are such a star, i've been struggling with depression this week which always knocks my self esteem a bit so i appreciate it even more, thankyou hon.
 
I love nights out because I get to play dress up for my Master to figure out what he likes more if he doesn't have an outfit picked out before hand.

i'm definitely going to do that, its a good chance to try out things i don't normally get to do, like putting my hair up rather than in plaits and different makeup as well as the dressier clothes that i don't usually get to wear.
 
But remember to enjoy yourself and to tease your Master bunches in subtle ways!!!



<lol> Master is already amused by the fact that W/we will be in a position where W/we can call eachother by the names that have only been used in private; noone has heard me call Him Master before except my folks when i slipped up.
i think that trying on cute outfits might lead to some fun, it has done in the past :0)

i can't wait for Him to get out the new flogger He got in the mail, but i refuse to do it by being bad as i know if i try to get punished - which i can only remember doing once, it will be the nasty crop and the leather flogger will be held back until i can be a good girl.

Thanks again,
BB,
wench


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 4:05:42 AM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

we females have a general tendancy toward worrying about how we are dressed, secretly feeling competition with the other women who will be there when in reality there will always be someone who is better dressed and someone who is dressed worse.  So follow the good advice already given.  Wear what makes you feel good.  If it's black, great.  If not, don't worry about it, wear what makes you feel good and i'm sure that will be approved by your Master as well.  Now, if what makes you feel good is pink chiffon, you may not look goth but i guarantee no one at the event will care.



Thankyou, i appreciate your reply; i think part of the problem is that although i have some nice clothes i'm a big girl and it makes me more nervous about what i can get away with; as long  as Master approves it i'm sure my outfit will be okay though - He doesn't mess around when He thinks something is inappropriate for me because i'm big or because He just doesn't like the style, i found that hard at first  - i took it as criticism of me when really it is because He just wants me to make the best of myself.

i am losing weight, i've lost 35lbs so far, and that is also a factor in deciding what to wear as i can get away with a bit more interesting outfits than i felt able to wear when i was bigger.

i really appreciate everyone taking the time to reply, thankyou again,
wench


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"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 4:09:03 AM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Goth = black. Wear all black and you will be just fine.

Master Fire



Thankyou MasterFireMaam, most of my clothes are black so i will have plenty of choice :0) i did used to be a Goth when i was younger but now i just get a lot of black as Master likes me in it and its classic. i won't be going with Goth makeup - its too easy to get it wrong when you're out of practice i think, i have seen too many badly applied faces in town, and Master likes me to look fresh, i don't have strong enough features for heavy makeup.



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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 4:12:36 AM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

Black boots, black pants, black belt, black shirt, black leather vest.

i can do that, except for the leather vest - i only have cotton but it is black, Master had actually bought me some leather trousers  which came this morning but they don't fit :0(

Did I miss anything?   Well, if I did, just make it black. 

<g>, silver jewellery and black mascara :0)

Oh, forgot to add...be sure to bring a pack of Marlboro reds with you! 


i don't actually know if they sell those in the UK, i will be bringing ciggies but i smoke Richmond menthols.

Thankyou :0)




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"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 4:17:36 AM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Caitriona

At my first munch I wore jeans, a nice shirt and my "vanilla" collar (a french toggle clasp necklace).  The munch was at a pub so it was very low key in terms of fetish/kink appearance.  I would suggest that you wear something comfortable since I would imagine you'll be nervous enough as it is, and being bothered by your clothing would not help.


Thankyou Caitriona, i don't know which collar i will be wearing, i don't have a vanilla collar, though i suppose my eternity one is almost if i don't have my tag on it - depending on His mood Master may want my collar to be more obvious or subtle. As it is a slightly alternative venue i think He may want it to be clear that it isn't just a fashion accessory - if only so that the other BDSM people can recognise U/us if its busy.
i definitely won't be going OTT clothes wise as i think its better to be a bit more plain than overdressed, that way i won't draw too much attention - i will try some outfits out for Master today or tomorrow to see what He likes.


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 4:22:31 AM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Most often I wear blue jeans and a green blouse these days and my partner wears blue jeans and either a polo or a tshirt since most munches are at casual dining places.  I giggle and play a game to guess how many people wear black and give myself a treat for every time I'm within 5 or fewer.

<g> i want to 'fit' with Master without looking like i'm trying to copy His outfit so it will be dark colours but i don't know which ones yet - blue and black are likely though, but it is possible He'll wear bluejeans and a dark jacket - that's about as colourful as He gets ;0)

My very first munch I wore a black skirt and a burgundy satin blouse- but my owner at the time dressed me.




As Master has told me i will be wearing my new corset for a while today and tomorrow i know that is going to be part of whatever i end up wearing - its pretty subtle though, just matte black, i've seen similar in vanilla shops locally so i think they seem to be quite mainstream at the moment which is good.


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 4:23:38 AM   
medievalwench


Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AlexAussieSub

Why not just wear all black? It's OK for both BDSM and vanilla events.


Thankyou Alex, i will probably wear all black, its the actual items of clothing that seemed difficult to figure out but i have more of an idea now :0)


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RE: What did you wear to your first BDSM meet up? - 11/17/2006 3:11:45 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		First munch I went to I wore jeans.  When Sir and I went for coffee with some others He had me where a skirt. Nothning fancy, or "lifestylish" Clean and presentable *S*

Keep it simple is usually the best.

Hope you have fun =)

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