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Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 8:24:01 AM

Dominant4life

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Greetings to all that read this.

I have been on collarme now for some time. Meeting many here that are very interesting to talk with and get to know.

I have the great pleasure of being father to 2 of the most wonderfull little girls (twins) that anyone could wish for.

I love being their dad. The great pleasure of it is always amazing to Me.

I have been trying to find a girl now for sometime. One that can accept this very delightfull living situation that I am living.

It seems that being with children here is not a desirable thing to most submissive females here.

QUESTION: are there any here that have children, ( younger, Mine are 11 years old ) that do live this life and balance their vanilla side as well?

I know that children are very time consumming. And being a dad is very much something I love. But being Dominant is also very much who I am.

I have met some here that say having children in this lifestyle is too much to ask any submissive to accept and enter into a relationship with. I do not believe this.

QUESTION: are there any here that have been faced with this situation and have over come to be happy in their relationship?

I would like very much to hear from you if there are.

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 8:28:16 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
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As LA is wont to say: For any question that begins with the words "are there any" the answer is always "Yes".

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 8:44:37 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Awwwwww :)

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 8:54:17 AM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
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I am a female Dominant and a single parent. I have a male sub who is wonderful and he adores my child, in fact they have come to be very good friends. One of my requirements was that my submissive had to accept and get along with my child as I wanted a LTR not something casual.
I know that in this lifestyle like other lifestyles there are people who like children and those who do not. Some Dom/me and subs have said they feel children hamper the D/s experience. I personally have not found that to be true, you just have to be careful of what you say and when you schedule playtime.
So I would say yes there are femsubs out there who do like children and it will just take time to find the right one. Because lets face it when it comes to your children you do not want just *anyone* around them, parents have to be careful with their wee ones.

Good luck!
~Lashra

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 9:02:34 AM

touchtaboo

Posts: 11
Joined: 8/14/2006
From: Scotland
Status: offline

Hello there..-s-

I am submissive and have been a single mum to my child since He was two years old, perhaps it's a little different from this side of things but i've never came across a problem ...In my last long term M/s it was never a problem ..my Master then treated my son with love and kindness..naturally had He not He would never have been in my life..long term ..we are a package ..You take one You take us both..-s-

Good luck in Your search!

taboo

< Message edited by touchtaboo -- 11/17/2006 9:03:36 AM >

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 9:14:14 AM

Dominant4life

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I wish to thank A/all that have responded already to My post.

I would also like to tell everyone that reads this, I am new to posting. I do not know all about how this works. But I am very much concerned about My situation. And with the comments I recieve from this post, I will try and make a decission on whether I am going to keep looking for that "right" one to be with in this lifestyle.

My girls mean more then anything else to Me. I will not jeopordize their well being in hopes there can be more for Me here.

Thank you A/all

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 9:53:33 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
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It depends on the individual just like in real life. The truth is that having unmentionables can be a negative or positive thing for any role or gender for most people but this can also be true in the "regular" world. Some people will not care, some will care an awful lot and some will care depending on the situation and other factors.

It is all about the matchups. I am sure there are many females on here who would not have a problem with the situation you are in but there are also many who will. Does not make anyone wrong or bad, just makes them different. I think you should be patient and put in the effort and not give up. You can have both but does not mean that it is easy to find.

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 10:29:59 AM

Dominant4life

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Joined: 1/1/2004
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I am not One to "judge" anyone here.

I understand when one does not find "My stiuation" aceptable, or desirable.

I am honest about the things in My life. Just because the situation I am in is not appealing to them does not make Me think any less of them.

I happen to love children. Some find them to much responsibilty and way too much to commit too.

That's their choice. I do not think any less of them for it.

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 10:48:01 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominant4life

Greetings to all that read this.
I have been on collarme now for some time. Meeting many here that are very interesting to talk with and get to know.
I have the great pleasure of being father to 2 of the most wonderfull little girls (twins) that anyone could wish for.
I love being their dad. The great pleasure of it is always amazing to Me.
I have been trying to find a girl now for sometime. One that can accept this very delightfull living situation that I am living.
It seems that being with children here is not a desirable thing to most submissive females here.
QUESTION: are there any here that have children, ( younger, Mine are 11 years old ) that do live this life and balance their vanilla side as well?
I know that children are very time consumming. And being a dad is very much something I love. But being Dominant is also very much who I am.
I have met some here that say having children in this lifestyle is too much to ask any submissive to accept and enter into a relationship with. I do not believe this.
QUESTION: are there any here that have been faced with this situation and have over come to be happy in their relationship?
I would like very much to hear from you if there are.

greetings to you as well Dominant4life. yes, there are people here who are dealing/have dealt with the same situation you describe.

before i met my Master, i would have been one of those submissives saying i definitely don't want a Master with kids. i've never desired to be a parent, not able to care for myself much less an unmentionable, and i've just never been a kid person in general. however such preferences go out the window when true love comes into the picture. my Master was a single parent raising a son. and, i accepted that reality when i agreed to become his, pretty much assuming the worst, but knowing that i could be owned by no other Man, kids or no kids.

and well long story short, it's worked out for us. i actually think the fact that i am a submissive and slave, and that he the Dominant/Master is the parent, made the transition much smoother and more natural than say if i had been a single submissive mother bringing a Master in. i say that because we feel that the Master/slave dynamic is extremely similar to the Parent/child dynamic. Daddy is the disciplinarian, authority figure, guide, protector, and caretaker for both myself and his child. i am in no way a parental figure or voice of authority to the child (who's now 11, like your girls). he knows i'm not the one to go to to ask permission for things or to help make decisions in his life. i can gently remind him of the rules and standards his Father has set, but i cannot enforce those things nor can i discipline or punish if he is disobedient. he has come to view me more as someone almost on his level...sort of like an older sister, one who must toe the line and mind their place just as he must. he is aware that i am disciplined and punished, and never saw anything unusual about that. he fully understands that his Father and i are in no way equals.

so for us this sort of situation works, however if you seek a submissive or slave who will also be a parental figure to your little ones, that could be a bit more difficult, but certainly not impossible.

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 10:58:26 AM

Dominant4life

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Wow!

Your words here have given Me a very nice "lift".

Thank you.

I have never thought about it in the way you have discribed. But now that you have pointed it out, it would make perfect sense to think that My girls would see things this way.

Again, thank you

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 11:02:47 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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you are more than welcome, Sir, and i wish you all the luck in the world in finding the right sub/slave to fit in your life.

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 11:24:14 AM

riiayna

Posts: 5
Joined: 10/29/2006
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hi, i'm a newbie submissive & also a single parent not sure how i'll tie this lifestyle in with the vanilla side but i'm going to try. i'm not one to give up easily & know that it takes time to build any relationship but one thing i do know, my children will always come first no matter what. If i can find a Dom that can accept that then all well & good if not, well i'll be waiting a long time to start this lifestyle. Ideally i'd like a ltr 24/7 but its a lot to ask for in a vanilla relationship & more so in this lifestyle. But i'll keep looking

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 11:58:34 AM

Uniform

Posts: 9
Joined: 1/5/2006
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This is probably my first response ever on this server, and only because I know your situation too well. I've been there, being a single parent for more than 15 yrs and it was pretty difficult at times, not at least because of knowing about my own needs as well.

The most important rule to this is: there is no rule. You can't know in advance how your kids will respond to a new partner, vanilla or not. They might get jealous anyway; it might turn out as nice & easy as told above. The important point is: That has nothing specifically to do with the nature of your relations, but is rather normal for kids who had their dad "for them alone" for a while.

I've had both: The first partner (after becoming a single dad when the kids were three) never worked out with them. In fact we had a kind of family war at times, the twins openly showing their anger and jealousy. ok: she was lousy with kids, they never considered her being a "mum-like" person, and what a relieve for all of us, when it was over and out (which I didnt understand before that had happened). Now I'm living with a wonderful slave at my side who has been a single mother herself (the kids are now grown ups). My kids not only have accepted her; they trust her. Somehow all the kids know that our relationsship is "different", even though we do not discuss this openly with them (which I wouldn't do anyway: parent's sexuality is nothing kids really do want to know in detail!).

Being through this and knowing other who have had similar experience, my two pence is: Dont worry too much, but take the situation pretty seriously. After all your twins want to look up to their dad and to understand his choices. Be open and honest - and trust, that there is a way for having both: wonderful kids and a wonderful partner at the same time.

the best
Uniform

p.s. one lady told me once that many slaves / subs prefer single dads, simply because - as she said - single dads know all about taking full responsibility for another persons well being and life.

< Message edited by Uniform -- 11/17/2006 12:01:32 PM >

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 12:06:30 PM

agirl

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*Shared parenthood* of any kind is an enormous consideration and although I've never had to parent someone elses sproglings, two of my sproglings had a step parent for 15 yrs. The responsibility is vast and there are many potential pitfalls, if it's taken to a *live-in , all-in life* etc.

I still have sprogs at home and have an M/s relationship also. It's possible, it just takes a lot of time, sensitivity and understanding. I wouldn't be *put-off* by a master that had children.

agirl

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 12:13:01 PM

AquaticSub

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I would think that it could be done. While I am no longer single (well I haven't been for a long time) I wouldn't have any objections dating and then submitting to a man with children as long as he respected my desire to not be his little whore in front of them. I wouldn't have a problem wearing a plain collar and perhaps being called little girl, but until children get much older I think there are certain things they just don't need to know.

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 1:51:11 PM

onlythewindknows

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i don't think it is too much different from the situation of being a single parent in the 'nilla world.
parenthood is going to rule out huge blocks of people.
it would make it just that much harder to find the "right one" - but probably not impossible.
i agree with daddysprop247 that it would be harder in the reverse.
a lot of men's profiles here use this as a deal breaker in regards to women (the women being parents, that is.)

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RE: Male Dominants that are single parents - 11/17/2006 2:54:48 PM

Dominant4life

Posts: 7
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Thanks to everyone that has given their ideas and advice on this matter.

It has been very encouraging to me so far and I have even learned a couple of things.

And Uniform, thank you as well for the words of your lady friend.

Even though I have not had that experience with any one here, I hope there may be some spark of truth there.

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