Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend

Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (Full Version)

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medievalwench -> Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (11/17/2006 3:35:25 PM)
if you were with someone you truly loved but they didn't want to Dominate you, it held no appeal at all for them, but you felt the need, what would you do? A friend is in this siutation with his partner and told me about it, he feels that he doesn't ant anyone but his partner but he is missing out, he actually told me that he would feel terribly guilty if he had a separate Dom, even though his partner has asked why he doesn't look for a Dom, i'm posting for him as he doesn't have web access so i will pass on replies, Thankyou in advance, wench

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (11/17/2006 4:54:25 PM)
True love allows everyone to be who they are- even if that means not being with them. Following their bliss is the only way to long term happiness and fulfillment. Would you be asking this question if he wanted her to become his slave?

nikaa -> RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (11/17/2006 5:02:44 PM)
medievalwench, This is a hard situation to be in. My first suggest, would be for honest communication between those involved. I beleive if someone is not getting their needs meet regardless of the dynamics of a relationship(vanilla, D/s, M/s, hetero,ect) it is not a very healthy relationship. I have known many couples where one was either Dom/me or submissive/slave while the other was not interested in the lifestyle at all. Whom have agreed that that dynamic will be gained else where. IF it is done with full knowledge and conscent of the spouse or partner all involved in my opinion there is nothing to feel guilty about. Consider this. To deny ones submissive nature or dominate nature are they not denying themselves? IF someone denys who or what they are for a partner eventually don't they begin to resent their parnter/spouse and the relationship it's self?

medievalwench -> RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (11/17/2006 5:30:12 PM)
Thankyou, that is what i thought and i tried to tell my friend this, after all, he may not lose his boyfriend, who has suggested that he try to find a Dom to fulfil those needs. i know it must be hard, i can't imagine the situation, i know that its putting more strain on them than the suggestion of finding a Dom might do.

AquaticSub -> RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (11/17/2006 6:14:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: medievalwench if you were with someone you truly loved but they didn't want to Dominate you, it held no appeal at all for them, but you felt the need, what would you do? A friend is in this siutation with his partner and told me about it, he feels that he doesn't ant anyone but his partner but he is missing out, he actually told me that he would feel terribly guilty if he had a separate Dom, even though his partner has asked why he doesn't look for a Dom, i'm posting for him as he doesn't have web access so i will pass on replies, Thankyou in advance, wench It is going to depend on what is more importent to your friend. I will never have a 24/7 d/s relationship with the man I am with. But he loves me, respects me, we look forward to sharing the future together and he is perfectly happy to be my part-time dominant. While I want more d/s in my life, I want the non-kinky things he gives me more. Perhaps your friend feels this way too.

medievalwench -> RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (11/17/2006 6:55:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross True love allows everyone to be who they are- even if that means not being with them. i agree. Following their bliss is the only way to long term happiness and fulfillment. Would you be asking this question if he wanted her to become his slave? they're both guys, but yes, if he wanted me to ask for him then i would do so, he already knows my opinion and that of my Master, but wanted me to ask as he knew i have posted here and doesn't have the means to post for himself.

sub4hire -> RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (11/18/2006 5:27:07 AM)
I believe knees2you here on the boards is living that situation right now. He has openly talked about it in the past. Perhaps e-mail him on the other side and get his opinion. It would matter so much more than any of ours because he is living it and not pure speculation of a situation we are not in anyway.

medievalwench -> RE: Question about a sub friend and his boyfriend (11/18/2006 8:06:07 AM)
Thankyou sub4hire, i'll take a look and maybe contact him, Cheers :0)

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