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Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 4:04:55 PM

medievalwench

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Joined: 10/31/2006
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Master has Seasonal depression and He is struggling despite His meds, when He feels bad He goes inside Himself and does not like physical contact. Selfishly i was feeling lonely and like He didn't want me anymore, as i'm going through a low too and it sucks when they coincide.
He has been upstairs in His room while i've been sitting here but i decided to risk going upstairs and telling Him how i am feeling, and He said He was feeling that i didn't want Him because He wasn't Domming me at the moment because He feels bad, and i told Him that i love Him and that the physical stuff we haven't been doing is only a part of this, and then He Hugged me. i am so glad i told Him, i hate that He didn't tell me how He feels but that is the way He is a lot of the time.
sometimes it doesn't take a lot to make things better,
wench

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

Post #: 1

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 4:32:57 PM

medievalwench

Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
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Sorry, that wasn;'t a question, i just wanted to post something positive; what i forgot to say was, does anyone else's Dom/me have depression and how do you help/deal with it?
Thanks,
wench

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

(in reply to medievalwench)

Post #: 2

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 4:47:32 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
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medievalwench,

There are many threads on both Dom/mes as well as submissives and slaves experiencing depression. Clinical depression is an illness it is not gender bias nor does it care what labels you may wear in your relationship.

I know for me personally (I am bi-polar thus suffer boughts of extreme highs and lows) that I journal daily. That I make sure I have a proper diet, enough sleep, and try to avoid things that may trigger it(ie alchohol or drugs). I have also been under the care of various professionals over the years.*laughs*

< Message edited by nikaa -- 11/17/2006 4:48:06 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to medievalwench)

Post #: 3

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 4:53:01 PM

SamKeithsslave

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: medievalwench

Sorry, that wasn;'t a question, i just wanted to post something positive; what i forgot to say was, does anyone else's Dom/me have depression and how do you help/deal with it?
Thanks,
wench

When anyone in my life, Dom/me or just family member or friend etc is depressed, I handle it in very much the same way, ie Go to them (as you went your Master) and tell them how I am feeling, tell them I love them and care for them and that IF they want to talk I am there for them, but that I will not push myself on them. I let them know that I can be there for them, even if they dont want to talk either and just need a hug.

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to medievalwench)

Post #: 4

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 4:54:22 PM

medievalwench

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Joined: 10/31/2006
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i'm bipolar as well, i've found meds that work most of the time though so i don't get manic any more, i'm teetotal now too which helps.
i'll do some searches, thanks,
wench

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 5

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 4:56:25 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Joined: 10/25/2005
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And it shouldn't take something so stupid to make them messed up to begin with.

Depression is a disease, but for the most part treatable. Issues like this should be rare and far between.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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Post #: 6

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 4:57:02 PM

SamKeithsslave

Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: nikaa
I know for me personally (I am bi-polar thus suffer boughts of extreme highs and lows) that I journal daily. That I make sure I have a proper diet, enough sleep, and try to avoid things that may trigger it(ie alchohol or drugs). I have also been under the care of various professionals over the years.*laughs*

I am what I like to call manic depressive (same as bi-polar), but I am of the older school ;-) I find medication has helped me a lot with stabilizing my mood swings. My depressions are not as bad as they used to be, but then neither are the highs, which is a shame, cos I loved it when I was manic and would clean the house top to bottom (including windows and walls) in the middle of the night :-)

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 7

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 5:15:31 PM

nikaa

Posts: 357
Joined: 10/13/2004
Status: offline

I agree meds can make the life of a manic much easier, however; getting to that point can be a long and painful process for many people. Finding the right medication and the right dosage is a hit and miss.

I personally hate how the meds made me feel or lack of feeling and have not taken them for several years now. I have found other ways,to balance out my highs and lows(some of which I mentioned). However, I would and do always suggest, heck urge people suffering from long bouts of depression to seek "professional" help.

_____________________________

Blessed Be,

Phoenix's Nika

The Cherokee legacy is that we are a people who face adversity, survive, adapt, prosper and excel.

Wakan Tankan Nici Un

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)

Post #: 8

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 5:27:12 PM

medievalwench

Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And it shouldn't take something so stupid to make them messed up to begin with.

Depression is a disease, but for the most part treatable. Issues like this should be rare and far between.

its not a common occurance, which is why it has been difficult, i'm sorry you think this is stupid.
it is treatable but some people are meds resistant for whatever reason.

< Message edited by medievalwench -- 11/17/2006 5:58:49 PM >

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

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Post #: 9

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 5:33:07 PM

medievalwench

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Joined: 10/31/2006
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i agree about getting help, this has been an on and off thing for both of us since we were teens and we do have shrinks as well as meds.

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

(in reply to nikaa)

Post #: 10

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 6:42:44 PM

MagiksSlave

Posts: 2768
Joined: 9/11/2006
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((hugs da wench)) I know the feeling, Im bipoer andthe saesons effect me poorly specially when there is little sun.. Im lucky Master doesnt get it so bad but he does suffer from depretion as well I have been lucky for the most part because it hasnt really poped up at least not for him, but because he suffers from the same thing I do he is so much more understanding about how I feel... I get lottsa cuddles, I guess you could say I feel the opposite of your Master because when I feel depressded I just want to be held tight and never leggo of, Master knows this though so im lucky!!!

You two sound like you have things good (isnt it great haveing a wonderfull Master!!! I know I love it

) Im glad you two talked and found out what you did because next time you both know some what what is going on in the others mind and it helps in the future..

Magik's slave

_____________________________

If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

-Rodney Atkins-

(in reply to medievalwench)

Post #: 11

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 7:01:48 PM

medievalwench

Posts: 249
Joined: 10/31/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

((hugs da wench)) I know the feeling, Im bipoer andthe saesons effect me poorly specially when there is little sun.. Im lucky Master doesnt get it so bad but he does suffer from depretion as well I have been lucky for the most part because it hasnt really poped up at least not for him, but because he suffers from the same thing I do he is so much more understanding about how I feel... I get lottsa cuddles, I guess you could say I feel the opposite of your Master because when I feel depressded I just want to be held tight and never leggo of, Master knows this though so im lucky!!!

You two sound like you have things good (isnt it great haveing a wonderfull Master!!! I know I love it ) Im glad you two talked and found out what you did because next time you both know some what what is going on in the others mind and it helps in the future..

Magik's slave

thankyou for the hugs, i love hugs :0). i need more of them when i'm down too, but i guess with Master, because He doesn't give them out that often i appreciate it when He does.
i'm glad you have a good Master too, they seem maybe hard to find but i know i got lucky, and it sounds like you did too. its good because i love Him as a person not only as a Dom and i think that suits me better than if it were purely a BDSM thing.
i knew Him as a friend for a year, then a lover and eventually as my Master.

Thanks again hon, i really appreciate it, now i can go to bed and think of nice things rather than worrying so much. i do feel that i've been too open on these boards though, i'll have to watch that i feel kind of anxious about it.

_____________________________

"Beauty is in the eye of the key holder" - my Master <g>

(in reply to MagiksSlave)

Post #: 12

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 8:16:16 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
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From what you said, he is on medication right? So then this is just one of those down times. We all have them, even those who aren't clinically depressed. A good way of dealing with these is to make sure you aren't eating too much sugar, not drinking too much caffeen, and even though your whole body is rebeling....get some exercize that raises the heart level. This gets endorphans flowing, blood circulating, and make you at least feel like the cloud is gone.

I am bipolar...and even though on meds...i still have my downs and ups. These are the three things i check when i get too down. And trust me...i walk an hour a day just to keep myself feeling good even when everything else doesn't want me to.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to medievalwench)

Post #: 13

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 8:20:38 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

Has he tried light therapy?
A tanning bed?
You may want to read about SAD

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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Post #: 14

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 8:33:50 PM

LadyFrancesca

Posts: 411
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

I also suffer from depression and have found that a combination of meds and exercise usually keep it under control. During winter months or long stretches of overcast skies or rainy weather, I have to go to a tanning bed in addition to the meds and exercise. It is amazing how much better the warmth and light can make me feel.

(Sorry, I'm not a sub. Hope I didn't offend by posting here.)

< Message edited by LadyFrancesca -- 11/17/2006 8:37:04 PM >

(in reply to KatyLied)

Post #: 15

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 8:39:56 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
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LadyF....you'll find these board are open, since many times us subs post on the Dom's boards too. :) You opinion is always welcomed.

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"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

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Post #: 16

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 8:42:33 PM

LadyFrancesca

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Thank you, dear.

(in reply to CrazyC)

Post #: 17

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 9:33:03 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

Master has Seasonal depression and He is struggling despite His meds, when He feels bad He goes inside Himself and does not like physical contact. Selfishly i was feeling lonely and like He didn't want me anymore, as i'm going through a low too and it sucks when they coincide.

Let me understand this, you think you are selfish because you have feelings of loneliness and suffer from your own mental health issues just as he does? How is it selfish to have feelings? I picked this out of your post and commented because this kinda self talk is related to depression. I have overcome depression without medication, although I recognize its usefulness for many, what I find in talking to people that are depressed or codependent with people that have these sorts of issues is the negative self talk, minimizing feelings that they have, denying feelings, intellectualizing feelings... and I see that all over your post.

Please do not take this as being critical, I just thought I would point out that minimizing our own emotional life, and exalting someone else's feelings as more important than our own is not really a very healthy thing to do, and something I have been guilty of myself and have to watch in myself. Feelings have no innate value in and of themselves, they just exist until they do not exist anymore, your feelings do not make you selfish, your actions do. It is very ok to feel what you feel until you do not anymore, even negative thoughts about your relationships and people you love. Burying things that we label "negative" is a recipe for disaster as far as what I have experienced.

I wish you both the best.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to medievalwench)

Post #: 18

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 9:40:03 PM

temptressofsouls

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Joined: 3/29/2005
From: Toledo, OH
Status: offline

Some people here have mentioned tanning and light therapy, which may be a good idea.... I just wanted to chime in and mention that you can buy happy lamp bulbs (vitamin D bulbs) at places like menards or Lowes and replace them with your regular ones. That might help a lot also. :)

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 19

RE: Warm fuzzies - 11/17/2006 9:46:05 PM

CrazyC

Posts: 949
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: temptressofsouls

Some people here have mentioned tanning and light therapy, which may be a good idea.... I just wanted to chime in and mention that you can buy happy lamp bulbs (vitamin D bulbs) at places like menards or Lowes and replace them with your regular ones. That might help a lot also. :)

Really? i am so there, and might buy stock. I'm moving in three weeks, and my roommate already mentioned he is seasonally moody.

_____________________________

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Barbara De Angelis

(in reply to temptressofsouls)

Post #: 20

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