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When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/18/2006 9:28:07 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		I took a dom knowing he was long distance and I thought it'd work out we'd get enough time. it turns out we're not and I am becomeing very unhappy with the lack of time we had* now no comments from the penut gallery she knows who she is ahem brat* I'll be seeing him the day after thanksgiving for a week, but it's just not enough. There;s just days I really severly and truely regret my decsion to take on someone 2 hours away, Ironically for the record with in 2 hours was originally in what was an accepted time delay.

I'm also an emotionally real inner girl so when my two in a half side simply MUST have and NEEDS daddy it's not enough to know he'll be here next week. my 2 in a half side who's very sensitive and is not able to rationalize 2 weeks is very soon just needs her daddy and is very upset. that's all my littlest side knows and can understand.

And please nobody suggest leaving him or moving away to be with him/ him move here neither are options right now.

Has any one else* and I am sure others have* taken on something feeling it w*ould work out and it just turned out there was zero time to be together rl or other demands tht made ld even as short as 2 hours not worth it?
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/18/2006 9:51:31 PM   
irishbelle


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		with respect, because i understand you are going through a hard time, but is two hours really all that far? it's less than a day trip. you can still meet for spur of the moment dates (half-way it's one hour, and that's about what i take to get to work each day) ... you don't have to buy an airline ticket, you don't need to plan weeks and months ahead.

you chose him for a reason, so it had to be worth it then. i think if he's important to you, you'd take the struggle. if it's too much and you are that miserable, and can't find a way to be together more, then you might have to consider letting it go.

how does he feel? is he crazy with want over you as well? is he content? are his needs being met and it's you who suffers? i've been in relationships like that with the boy next door. distance is not a factor in those situations, it's whether or not you are getting the care you require, from the person you've decided to have a committment with.

i hope it works out for you.

< Message edited by irishbelle -- 11/18/2006 9:52:52 PM >

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/18/2006 9:58:17 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		irish in his current situation  he couldn't leave for the day or have me over,. So no , NORMALLY 2 hours isn't bad, but before this last week he had no means of getting away. Which is why i said I thought we;d have time but we're not getting any.

He's being driven batty too, And naturally when it is a situation where it's like family stuff you promised but isn't working out or gf, it's very much arg.

He was supposed to be a baby sitter to his niece and newphew and get days off, and things went so that he had no days off and no personal time. That's all changing now though and he's working on finding a job so he can have money to move to me.

Now that certain things have come to be he has more time and wants to come once a week for 3 days an then some day time one day visits.

It's just somedays are not worth trying to chew through the straps to quout an old qoute and on those days with no chance for months on end to see him makes me makes both of us feel batty lol.

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 11/18/2006 10:02:28 PM >

(in reply to irishbelle)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/18/2006 10:06:51 PM   
irishbelle


Posts: 4
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		so, before you could almost never see him, and since last week he will be making a better effort? and you get to see him at least once a week, whereas before you had to go for a long amount of time?
 
i'm sorry, i'm just trying to understand. from what you describe things are getting better.
 
but if in the end, to you, if it's still not "worth" the days of waiting, then you have your answer.

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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/18/2006 10:11:51 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		If things work out as planned he'll be out here every week,  It's not garenteed yet, but we are hopeing.

I guess I am just being ungreatful, I', trying to make some very stressful life choices, and sometimes waiting till next whenever just isn't enough when the stress level is going through the roof you want to go to bed with your mate an forget an it's still a week to go.

I feel sometimes like I am being to needy and if I was just more mature, more patient more what ever it is I am not then it wouldn't be an issue. We are working on those parts of it though. 

< Message edited by FelinePersuasion -- 11/18/2006 10:14:07 PM >

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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/19/2006 3:55:07 AM   
adaddysgirl


Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline 		If you're not going to leave him to find a partner who might be more available, then it sounds like patience is the only answer Feline.  Just try to keep optimistic by thinking of the time you will eventually be together (that's what i did when i was in a LDR).  It might not be easy now, but it the long run, it will pay off.
 
Best wishes to you both 
 
Daddysgirl

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/19/2006 6:06:28 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		All I can say is 2 hours is nothing.  I have a 4 hour distance relationship going.  Two hours would be easy for me to manage.  I hate working 8 hours and then getting in the car and driving 4 - that makes for a long day.  Look at what you have, don't focus on what is lacking.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/19/2006 6:22:01 AM   
kishasub


Posts: 49
Joined: 1/13/2006
Status: offline 		I'm a 4 hour drive from my Domme but we manage to see each other at least once a month and we keep in contact daily with text, phone and MSN, i keep some of her stuff here so it feels like a part of her is always close by, the distance sucks but i'd rather that than not have her in my life at all and i do things like journal and general things that she likes me to do so it keeps my submission real even when we are apart(if that makes sense) although i'll admit in the beginning i found the distance a huge struggle but as the months pass i've found ways to cope till i'm at her feet again.
Keep your chin up Feline and cherish each second your with him better to miss him cos the miles keep you apart than to miss him cos your relationship couldnt survive the distance and he's no longer apart of your life.

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/19/2006 9:36:23 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		All I can say is if you want it bad enough you'll make it happen.  I have..........
Planes, Trains and Automobiles cover miles, just remember to take a Map!


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The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to kishasub)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/19/2006 11:57:58 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

If things work out as planned he'll be out here every week,  It's not garenteed yet, but we are hopeing.

I guess I am just being ungreatful, I', trying to make some very stressful life choices, and sometimes waiting till next whenever just isn't enough when the stress level is going through the roof you want to go to bed with your mate an forget an it's still a week to go.

I feel sometimes like I am being to needy and if I was just more mature, more patient more what ever it is I am not then it wouldn't be an issue. We are working on those parts of it though. 


Not to sound rude, but if you feel "needy" you should do your best to hide it from him. If you need to vent, use the board or find a good friend to listen. Nothing turns a man off quicker than a woman who acts "needy". I do know how you feel though. Schedules can be a pain. My old switch partner was an athletic trainer who had to go to all the games and wrap injuries, so he worked some pretty strange hours. Hang in there, you'll figure something out. Best of luck.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/19/2006 12:08:02 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		in my opinion, you both have issues you need to resolve before even attempting a relationship with anyone, anywhere, and it has nothing to do with distance:  he needs to find a job that he can support himself with and stand on his own two feet, and you need to find a way to get over your 'neediness' that you find compelled to blame on 'the little' in you.

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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/20/2006 9:11:57 PM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline 		daddy'sliloneds It's mostly me all of me that's needy,  but when you have parts of you who're little and need stuff it sounds stupid but yeah the littlest parts need him too.  He fufils the smaller tendancies like ni ni time tuck ins. and usualy makes me feel secure when I regress. It really is something to do with feeling emotionaly little. I can usualy handle stresses fairly well, but regress me and nuh uh.

defiant I tried hiding my emotional stuff like needyness from daddy and when he found out I was hiding stuff from him he got upset because he don't want me to hide anything from him. I do try not to fuss over the same thing to to much.

kisha that's one thing I don't have any more is his stuff, well I do have some of his porno's he left me and some of his ps2 games, but I used to have one of his t shirts on my stuffed stegosaur and he gave me a stuffed teddy bear.


and hey, it's only 4 more days!!! and then I have daddy for 5 days all day , day in and day out.

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/21/2006 3:34:30 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I have tried long distance a couple of times, and it never works out for me...but we are all different, I hope it works out for you.

_____________________________

Dance like no one is watching,
Sing like no one is listening.
Love like you've never been hurt
and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/21/2006 4:39:08 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion
defiant I tried hiding my emotional stuff like needyness from daddy and when he found out I was hiding stuff from him he got upset because he don't want me to hide anything from him. I do try not to fuss over the same thing to to much.




I dealt with this in the early days of my relationship with my dom. Hiding emotions is not a good idea...at least for me, it tends to throw a blanket over everything and skew my behavior in every area. Then again emotional "dumping" or god-forbid -- "whining" are not good ideas either.
My advice: What does work is formulating a way that you are going to deal with your own feelings while exercising the freedom to share what you are feeling with him. That way, it isnt dumping. It's letting him know "Im feeling this. This is what Im doing." And the "this is what Im doing" can be anything from "Im hurting like this for you, Daddy" to "Im distracting myself with some crafts" to "Im going out with my friend tonite for some girl talk."
If you handle your needs in an emotionall mature manner, they don't have to translate into "neediness".

Best of luck to you both. Enjoy the anticipation, it's what makes the pleausre so much sweeter!

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/21/2006 5:07:22 AM   
MistressKaren51


Posts: 66
Joined: 1/18/2004
Status: offline 		From the little information I can gather from your posts, it seems that you are unhappy and uncomfortable to be on your own. Of course, this is only an assumption. A two hour distance can seem like a million miles if you're not comfortable being with yourself and feel the need to be dependent on someone else, i.e. "daddy".

I do know from my own experience in a long distance relationship with my fiance'/slave (4,500 miles to his village in northern England ) that being apart from the one you love and depend on can be horrific, especially when at times there is a six month gap between visits. I had similar feelings of desperate need to be with my partner but with his help came to realize that I was afraid of being on my own. Through professional counseling, self improvement, and a strong will to become happy again I did manage to achieve a comfort level when we're apart. The patience, work and effort has paid off as we will be married this December after a 5+ year courtship and engagement.

Sweetie, try to learn to be your own best friend, be comfortable with who you are, build up your self esteem and work on personal growth. Stay busy, learn to do new things and as you do these things, you will find that the wait to be with your partner will be much easier. It won't make all of the pain go away but it will be more bearable. When the time is right, it will all come together and if you are meant to be with each other, it will happen.

As for your partner, it sounds like he's making steps in the right direction to make being together happen. It also sounds like he's having to work with quite a few obstacles that make it more difficult. Be patient, encourage him, be supportive, and show him how strong you are. If you cry, plead and whine it will only make him feel worse and it won't make it happen any faster. Again, this is the voice of my experience talking.

I wish you the very best, and if  you need someone to talk to to get you through a lonely night, let me know. I'll be happy to listen to you and encourage you.


_____________________________

"Capture the mind and the body will follow."
http://www.sissiesindisgrace.com

(in reply to justheather)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/21/2006 5:22:33 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKaren51

From the little information I can gather from your posts, it seems that you are unhappy and uncomfortable to be on your own.


Im thinking you meant this to the OP and not me.
If you are going to use the Fast Reply option, it clears up some confusion if you say "This is a fast reply". Otherwise it looks like you are answering the person above you because their name shows up in the bottom left-hand corner.


_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to MistressKaren51)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/21/2006 6:11:26 AM   
JerseyKrissi72


Posts: 10238
Joined: 8/21/2006
From: Reed City, Michigan
Status: offline 		Two hours really isn't that far..me and my late Master were 2 1/2 hours apart and he took the trip to see me every other week (atleast) I loved him so distance DID make the heart grow fonder. Long distance relationship IS difficult, I won't say that it isn't but it's not impossible.

(in reply to justheather)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/21/2006 6:43:12 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		well if you had an hour with the lvoe of your life- your doing better then i am. the guy i would like is 1200 miles away. he cracks me up.his way of handling the grapes of life is an odd mirror into my own.

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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/21/2006 7:08:02 AM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
All I can say is 2 hours is nothing.  I have a 4 hour distance relationship going.  Two hours would be easy for me to manage.  I hate working 8 hours and then getting in the car and driving 4 - that makes for a long day.  Look at what you have, don't focus on what is lacking.


2 hours? 4 hours? Sounds like heaven to me! I live so far in the tulies, it takes more than 90 minutes just to get to the airport. Once there, I can head off on my 800, 5,000 or 1,125 mile journey.  Someone two hours away is like a next door neighbor.

Bob

_____________________________

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro--Hunter S. Thompson
It's crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide!--Chief Dead St. Knockout, 1933, Liverpool
Damn the crops. I'll only find peace at the end of a rope.--Winston Van Loo, 1911

(in reply to KatyLied)
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RE: When long distance becomes unbearable. - 11/21/2006 7:12:29 AM   
justheather


Posts: 1532
Joined: 10/4/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesertRat

Bob


Hey, everybody! It's Bob!
Hi Bob! Good to see you!

_____________________________

I want the scissors to be sharp
And the table perfectly level
When you cut me out of my life
And paste me in that book you always carry.
-Billy Collins

(in reply to DesertRat)
Profile   Post #: 20
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