Midearthtrainer
Posts: 67
Joined: 10/10/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: fireflyred
sometimes, without realizing it, i find that he considers me to have been ignoring him, where as I, with no instructions or tasks set before me, screw off on the computer, etc. (usually trying not to bother him while he works but wishing for attention)
Are you trying to say that the two of you are together all day and night?(i.e.- he works from home?) Having that much contact together will put a strain on a relationship. How much of your day is structured? Lists to accomplish?
quote:
ORIGINAL: fireflyred
my master makes suggestions to me, and if i agree that they are good ideas, interesting, or even whenI'm not that enthusiastic but i'm not afraid, he doesn't follow through with them becasue of my lack of interest or initiative. I have a lot of initiative, don't get me wrong, too much for my own good, and as my first post I'll also add that I am super brat, reckless and unhapy without boundaries,
Think about that statement alot and ask yourself, from Master's perspective; How many times do you have to bang your head against a wall before it hurts enough to stop(or in this case - before it no longer makes sense to try anymore).
my master makes suggestions to me - take this as his way of ordering you
if i agree that they are good ideas, interesting, or even whenI'm not that enthusiastic but i'm not afraid, - IS that obedience? or selective obedience?
he doesn't follow through with them becasue of my lack of interest or initiative. - If you selectively obey, then why would he try, if there is no/little positive response on your part? It is foolish to do the same things over and over, expecting different results.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
quote:
ORIGINAL: slavemaia
anything unfamiliar tends to make most of us act and feel unsure. With love and openness, a real desire to give to him and please him, things can be worked out. my recommendation is check your motives - why do you do what you do? Is it to manipulate in order to get your way or is it to give to him and show him your submission and devotion?
W/we're both evolving and growing, not just me.
As a quick "aside" here, I wanted to thank slavemaia for these words above. Earlier this week, I was feeling badly because I felt I had failed a task that Daddy gave me because it wasn't as "perfect" as I wanted it to be. But He told me that the fact that I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried my very best in an effort to please Him showed that my heart and desires were in the right place, and that I had not failed and that He was pleased.
quote:
ORIGINAL: slavejali
From my experienc a lot of your time as *slave* is spent "waiting on the desires of your master" in regards to play. Its not all, whips and chains and commands, its in those "low times" a slave does have the responsbility to carry through on their half of the relationship... you don't need constant orders or whatever to be a slave for your master. You know him, you know there are things you can be doing for him that you know he would like, just taking joy in making him a dinner, or washing his clothes or whatever and you will still get those slave feelings.......The issue here really is about "play" it seems....and again...getting yourselves amongst others could really help in that area.
These quotes might help you to rethink your slavery. Slavery is not all about play. It is about the heart and what you do, how you think about situations and how you act upon them. It is all thoes little things that you do, to make Master's life better, that make you an asset to Master. Taking the inititive to do things without being told, shows a Master that the slave is trying and that her heart is into it. Do you always make sure that Master is well supplied for the day while he is working? Drinks always full? Hot drinks hot? Cold drinks cold?(Hint- If you saw that his drink need to be refilled, you could kneel beside him, lay your head on his leg, pretend to just notice the drink and get up and refill it, serving it to him(or laying it down where he had it, if he is busy). This would let him know that you care)
How well, do you truely know your Master? Is he a morning person? Afternoon person? Nightowl? What does he like to eat? Wear? Are the diets for the two of you nutritionally complete? You can be living with a person and truely never know them, unless you try. Communication( there's that word again), is a two way street. Sometimes you may have to prompt him to open up to you, just as he does to open you. Sublelty, may help you here.
quote:
ORIGINAL: slavejali
From my experienc a lot of your time as *slave* is spent "waiting on the desires of your master" in regards to play. Its not all, whips and chains and commands, its in those "low times" a slave does have the responsbility to carry through on their half of the relationship... you don't need constant orders or whatever to be a slave for your master. You know him, you know there are things you can be doing for him that you know he would like, just taking joy in making him a dinner, or washing his clothes or whatever and you will still get those slave feelings.......The issue here really is about "play" it seems....and again...getting yourselves amongst others could really help in that area.
quote:
Both of us just ended pretty horrible mentally exhausting relationships around april of this year, and we've been doing this together going on four months
Almost sounds like this is a rebound relationship. If not, throwing love into the power dynamics after such a previous relationship, can and sounds like it already has tainted this relationship to some degree.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kirata
The problem may have to do with how much you love Him, or more particularly how much He loves you. It is a Gorean perspective, but it may fit the case. Your post just rings that bell in My mind. I could easily be totally wrong. And even if I'm right, knowing the problem isn't the same as solving it. But trying to solve it without knowing the problem is a lot harder.
"Then the only danger is that he will weaken. One must be strong with a love slave. If one truly loves her, he will be that strong. The slavery in which a love slave is kept is an unusually deep slavery. She must serve him with a perfection which would stun and startle other girls; if she should fail in any way, even in so small a way that the lapse would be overlooked in the case of another wench, or bring perhaps a mild word of reprimand, she is likely to be tied at the slave ring and whipped; there is a good reason for this; she is, you see, a love slave; no woman can be more in a man’s power; and with no woman must he be stronger." ~ Beasts
I have watched more than one Free lose a girl because He was so immersed in loving how owning His beautiful slave made Him feel that He couldn't even see her for herself anymore. Mastery of a girl is not a final accomplishment. It is an ongoing process, and it always starts with Oneself. When a man falls in love, He faces a powerful urge toward a reversal of roles, a reversal in which He becomes the one who surrenders: to His own emotions. If He cannot master them, He will neither continue His mastery of the girl nor even be able really to love her. Because once He allows Himself to becomes dependent on her for how He feels, what may have begun as love becomes the moody weakness of need.
These words hold true for any D/s, M/s or Gorean relationship. A love slave is the strongest bond made. Yet, we confuse love for slavery. What is it, that attracts you to him? What keeps you with him? Why do you continue to obey him? When you can answer this question on the many levels it was intended, then you have a start:
Can you stand before Master at ALL times?
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If he isn't into following through with what he said, a conversation itself isn't going to fix things, even if you come to a resolution...he may not follow through with that..ugh ugh ugh.... (I'm not being much help so far hey) 
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