RE: Master, switch, sub, confused?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Master, switch, sub, confused?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Master, switch, sub, confused?

Page: << < prev 1 [2]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Master, switch, sub, confused? - 11/20/2006 12:34:00 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Right now I've put my bottom needs on the back burner. Yes I know alot of Dominants would shake their heads at me. But to ME, my subs mental well being is more important then a few moments of my own phyiscal pleasure. I need to know that he understands and is ok with this.

This makes perfect sense, and it is an angle as others have mentioned ("I could never hit my master") that I didn't consider in my reply, since I'd never had that specific type of experience... As I hate most pain on myself, it isn't likely ever going to be a problem I encounter.

For me, the only thing that never changes, is who has the final authority within the relationship. Everything else is negotiable in terms of play, so for that reason, I don't like the labeling of any act as sub/dom.
I suppose that if I had a strong need to be hurt physically, being with a sub who could not deliver might become problematic; so I hope that with time, lots of conversations, he will come to understand and deliver on your ordered desires as much as you need/want. M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Lashra)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Master, switch, sub, confused? - 11/20/2006 3:50:29 PM

GoddessDustyGold

Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline

Perhaps if you worked with him for a while and got it into his head that you are not asking him to be Dominant, but you are commanding him, as his Dominant, to satisfy your temporary and pleasurable masochistic tendencies that come up on rare occasions? I also like the suggestion of working it into a massage so that he can become more relaxed about striking you in a manner that feels like submissive service, rather than topping. Good one!
It may take a while and lots of conversations full of reassurance, but if it is explained that way so he can still feel completely submissive and that he is simply following your commands (he does not feel that you are being submissive to him, but rather bottoming for a few moments for your pleasure) he might be able to get past it. Otherwise, as the Mistress, if you have a need for a little masochistic play, it would be your right to find it elsewhere and leave his mindset intact. Of course I do not know what your promises and agreements are with each other regarding seeking other satisfactions outside of the relationship.
Tricky situation, and glad to hear that you are so patient and willing to work with him on this. Good luck!

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 11/20/2006 3:52:26 PM >

_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom

(in reply to Lashra)

Profile

Post #: 22