pixelslave
Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: kc692
Of course his dominant has the right to do as she wishes, but in answer to you pixel, I allow my girl to read her mail, and she has quite a few friendships on here. When doms email her(which happens, as she is very attractive, and not all bother to read profiles), she either answers to tell them she is collared or she ignores the emails. She has actually just started signing on to this side, and has made a few posts, as I feel this side is very beneficial for varied viewpoints, but that is my opinion and is what works for my household. I do have her password for the ability to look whenever I wish, and that is enough for me. When she has had a few(and I will say very few) that have disregarded her polite nos, I do help her compose the letter they receive before they are blocked, smiles. My husband does not get on here at all, but again, every dominant is different(that is supposed to be part of our charm, is it not?  )
Exactly! Every dominant is different! And I agree that is part of their charm! What works for you and yours, might not work for me with another particular woman. Each and every sub needs to decide for themselves what things they are willing to give up in order to gain what they will gain from being with the Dominant of their choice. 
There are a great number of things I would gladly do without in order to be with a woman who overall pushed the right buttons for me.  On the other hand, there are some things I would not give up for any woman, regardless of how close she was to the ideal I would otherwise like to be with. For example if she didn't want me to see or be with my daughters, that would be a "no-brainer" kind of deal-breaker for me. If she pushed and insisted on infringing on my current hard limits, that would tell me that she had no respect for where I was at, and again, it would be another way to easily tell that she wasn't a Domme that I wanted to continue to see. 
To me, its a matter of deciding at what point one wants to draw their imaginary line in the sand.  I feel I know myself well enough, not to forget to mention that I also have enough self-respect and love for myself, to do exactly that. I know that I don't need an exact or perfect match, but I do need certain things and I know pretty much what those are. On the rest, I believe I know up to what point where I'm willing to compromise and where that ends. For example, no poly or other subs involved with her would be acceptable in a relationship with me. For me, I have learned, that it is critical to know these things before one goes headlong into a relationship with a Dominant that one is interested in. Otherwise, one can quickly find themselves in over their head and deep into a relationship where their needs aren't getting met and/or where they've given up more than they ever intended not to mention finding things so unacceptable that things get to the point where life can become miserable for them. To me that's not what this lifestyle is supposed to be about. Both parties should be happy and be getting their essential needs met. If they're not, then they're with the wrong partner and should be looking elsewhere for someone more compatible or talking with their partner to work out something different that would work better for them both (provided talking & negotiating is an option). 
When I left CM briefly at the direction of the Domme I was with for a month or so, she still wanted me with her on Alt. My profile on Alt was changed at that time, which is something I did on my own to please her, and she never made any effort to control my account there. I think she simply wanted me where she could watch what I was up to, and more than anything else, wanted me there as an audience and where I could conveniently comment on the activity going on in her blog. We subs often have to remember that Dommes do tend to have rather strong egos, which in some cases, tend to need regular stroking.
- pixel
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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!
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RE: hate saying goodbye... - 
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