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Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/10/2005 7:26:29 AM

slavedesires

Posts: 669
Joined: 3/2/2004
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.....all before even getting to know another!

Another discussion topic that amuses me.
Master has deliberately taught me that life is a journey. One day at a time, one focus at a time, one lesson at a time.... each day has a beginning and an end. At the end of the day we evaluate our progress on this journey. Are we better for the lessons, focus and people we interacted with as we look back on our day? There is destination in that day. But the journey of life cannot be given a destination, we are not guaranted the next day, the next hour, the next month or the outcome of whatever we are doing/focusing on today if it remains unfinished at the end of the day.

Relationships have a beginning ....there is no destination guaranteed in any relationship.
So why do ladies say
1.) i want a Dom that will manage my vanilla life.
2.) i am looking cause the Dom i have will not marry me.
3.) i ONLY want 24/7 and will not consider someone who does not want 24/7
4.) if you do not want attachment, i will not get to know you

Would these ladies rattle off the same things to a nice man they met at a church picnic?
(yes the extreme opposite to a BDSM website or BDSM munch)
i am sure the guy would run like a bat out of hell!

So why then do girls on CM (and similar sites) say such rediculous things, or do they not realize it is really silly?
Do they not realize there is NO such thing as read profile, fall madly despertely in love, email, propose marriage give collar before a journey is begun?

Like i said on another thread..those of U/us who read forums and respond seem to be of another mindset, but surely all of us know of this.

Thoughts, opinions, judgements, discussion, flames.....all welcome

Master Damian's shy

_____________________________

i speak only my personal opinion, sometimes O/ours.

"i am the keeper of fragile things and i have kept what is indisolvable."
....the greatest gift.....vulnerability

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/10/2005 11:07:19 AM

feline

Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline

OK, I'll bite.

quote:

So why do ladies say
1.) i want a Dom that will manage my vanilla life.
2.) i am looking cause the Dom i have will not marry me.
3.) i ONLY want 24/7 and will not consider someone who does not want 24/7
4.) if you do not want attachment, i will not get to know you

What's wrong with being up front and straight forward? Why tiptoe around what you truely want only to find out down the road that you both want separate things? I certainly wouldn't do that. This "lifestyle" or otherwise.

quote:

Do they not realize there is NO such thing as read profile, fall madly despertely in love, email, propose marriage give collar before a journey is begun?

You are right. It takes time to establish a meaningfull relationship with any one. No matter what their "lifestyle" preferences are. And it takes even longer when "you" hide the things you really want or are looking for.

And actually I find it is both ways. Dominants, Masters ect. Do this as well. So if you really want to "rag", rant or rave why not do it on an even plain.

Have a nice day,

Attachment (1)

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Variety is the soul of pleasure.
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(in reply to slavedesires)

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/10/2005 11:22:02 AM

ruffnecksbabygir

Posts: 412
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline

i think after a while of searching for someone and after getting to know so many jerks online, we tend to get a bit inpatient and just sick and tired of getting our hopes up with someone to later find out they are married, or really only looking for online cyber, or whatever.....i know towards the end of my search i became quite synical and just very blunt about what i was looking for and i probably just did it in a way to weed out the fakes, wannabes, jerks, etc... Where before i would wait a while before sharing things about myself, towards the end it was like, ok, this is me, take it or leave it! lol...but hey, i found what i was looking for so, that didn't work out too bad : )

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~hugs~
Babygirl

:Disclaimer: The above is only this slave's opinion:

"And Those Who Danced Were Thought To Be Quite Insane By Those Who Could Not Hear The Music" -- Angela Monet

(in reply to feline)

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/10/2005 6:30:12 PM

liltxsubby

Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline

my profile used to clearly state that i did eventually hope to have a long term relationship of some kind. it wasn't that i expected it to happen right away, relationships do take time to develop. i put that there simply because i'd had so many cyber Doms, ot those only wanting to train, not wanting long term, etc and decided i'd just be up front about what i wanted. Certainly didn't expect a proposal or collar quickly, just wanted to be clear that i wanted to meet someone who would like that eventually as much as i would.

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I'm Japan and Godzilla has taken over.

Laugh with them, or let them laugh at you.

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/10/2005 8:51:44 PM

Tangwystal

Posts: 121
Joined: 8/18/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slavedesires

Relationships have a beginning ....there is no destination guaranteed in any relationship.
So why do ladies say
1.) i want a Dom that will manage my vanilla life.
2.) i am looking cause the Dom i have will not marry me.
3.) i ONLY want 24/7 and will not consider someone who does not want 24/7
4.) if you do not want attachment, i will not get to know you

Would these ladies rattle off the same things to a nice man they met at a church picnic?
(yes the extreme opposite to a BDSM website or BDSM munch)
i am sure the guy would run like a bat out of hell!
So why then do girls on CM (and similar sites) say such rediculous things, or do they not realize it is really silly?
Do they not realize there is NO such thing as read profile, fall madly despertely in love, email, propose marriage give collar before a journey is begun?

Like i said on another thread..those of U/us who read forums and respond seem to be of another mindset, but surely all of us know of this.

Thoughts, opinions, judgements, discussion, flames.....all welcome

Master Damian's shy

What is funny is that I have had "church going" men ask me just such questions, so why shouldn't women feel free to ask them?

_____________________________

non mihi, non tibi, sed nobis

Tangwystal

(in reply to slavedesires)

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/11/2005 8:36:21 AM

Alexander

Posts: 159
Joined: 12/10/2004
Status: offline

I have so much to say about this. I better finish this work before I waste the morning ....

(in reply to Tangwystal)

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/11/2005 8:51:21 AM

Darthbetta

Posts: 314
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline

so ... what ?

is that a maybe ?

I pWomise I'll get you a diamond ring

at least you get a "tax break"

(in reply to Alexander)

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/11/2005 9:14:29 AM

panthergoddess

Posts: 93
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: Bessemer City, NC USA
Status: offline

Spekaing for the one person I can speak for......myself....

Perhaps I'm a bit more pragmatic in my way of going about things but I view searching for the right Master and slave as a job:

My profile would be equivilent to an employment add. Many read it and find they are not looking for that and move on, those who feel they qualify and fit in with what I put in my profile will contact me and we'll go into the next phase.
The initial email, IM exchanges can be likened to the "phone" interviewing process. Whereby we both discuss our needs, wants, desires, and convey our personalities in with the conversations.
The phone calls, would be the first phase of one on one interviews. Whereby I can see if the conversation flows and can tell in their voices there sincerity. It also gives me a chance to trip them up to ensure their honesty. Up until this point I remember EVERYTHING and keep documentation for reference.
The initial meeting would be the second interview so to speak. This incorporates their past correspondances and exchanges with me and intermingles it with their voice as well as body language.

Now through all of this there is growth and understanding on both sides. I do not mean it to sound like I'm strictly adherant to the "employment" reference but it's how I view it all. I assign no time limits and am certainly not expecting instant gratification on what it is I'm looking for. But I damn well will not settle for less than what I am looking for.

Once all of the aforementioned is achieved and if thigns seem to be on track....then it's time for contracts and play as well as preparation for their moving in. Not them moving in right away, just the preparations and planning for it in the future.

The way I see it.....it's not a ploy to have instant gratification more than it is the natural and highly personalized weeding out process that we all tend to go though.

Example...if one is looking for a male would that not be something they would want to communicate in their profile? We each have our criteria. and certainly the deired duration of the relationship should be included as that criteria.

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"No good deed goes unpunished."

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/11/2005 9:43:51 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

quote:

So why then do girls on CM (and similar sites) say such rediculous things, or do they not realize it is really silly?

I believe most who place personal ad's are lonely. It is clear all are searching for something. Whether it be a relationship. Or a relationship that merely helps you muttle through your dreary existance with whatever you have waiting at home for you already.

Of course communication is the key to any relationship. If we had clear communication the divorce rate would be much lower.

People come online and tend to glorify what other's say. I mean in all seriously you have no idea how I am writing this at this moment. Am I happy or sad? Am I joking around? Ask ten people you'll get about 3 different responses. We tend to judge other's we see here by our own rose colored glasses. A person could say I'd beat you for that. You can think they are joking in reality they are deadly serious.
So online relationships progress rather quickly. Not always with a good result.

Ok, so I'm getting a bit off track there...but the subject line question brought me to that frame of thought.

As far as your questions go. If I were searching and I knew exactly what I needed in my life. Yes, I would ask anyone on the street the same questions. Whether it be at church or work or wherever. Some people are only blessed with love once in their life. Why allow it to pass, it could have been your chance.

I wanted a Dom in my life. I wanted a monogamous relationship that ended up in a blissful marriage.
Well, I have what I want. When I am ready I will say I do. He is more than ready already.

(in reply to slavedesires)

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/11/2005 1:08:06 PM

subboy603

Posts: 25
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tangwystal
Would these ladies rattle off the same things to a nice man they met at a church picnic?
(yes the extreme opposite to a BDSM website or BDSM munch)

What is funny is that I have had "church going" men ask me just such questions, so why shouldn't women feel free to ask them?

Its the same reason why a guy that sleeps with a dozen women a week is a stud, while a woman who sleeps with a dozen men a week is a slut. Its the result of social programming in our formative years.

(in reply to Tangwystal)

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RE: Profile, email then Marriage...... - 2/16/2005 4:29:41 AM

subbiejenn

Posts: 631
Joined: 7/12/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Relationships have a beginning ....there is no destination guaranteed in any relationship.
So why do ladies say
1.) i want a Dom that will manage my vanilla life.
2.) i am looking cause the Dom i have will not marry me.
3.) i ONLY want 24/7 and will not consider someone who does not want 24/7
4.) if you do not want attachment, i will not get to know you

Hmmm i think being up front and honest is the best way to go. I have seen ads that say they only want financial Doms but this is their choice and the choice of the Dom to send it to them but at least they are honest.

#1 I want a Dom who will eventually manage my vanilla life -- not excepting that to happen right way when i start seeing a Dom but in the long term if things work out but this is a trait i am looking for in a potential partner.

#2 in your list confuses me but i guess at least they are honest -- just hopefully the Dom she is seeing at the time knows also.

#3 Some people here want to just "play" -- some want a relationship (some online and some offline) nothing wrong with making sure your ultimate desire is for a long term. It isn't saying they only want 24/7 RIGHT now but this is something ultimately they want.

#4 Same as before -- some want to just control someone online -- some want just a "play" partner -- some want a relationship along with the playing.

all these things are what these people are looking for and i see nothing wrong with expressing it. Weeds out all the Doms who are not looking for the same thing, saves time in the long run. Didn't see anyone say -- read my profile, come get me tomorrow and we live happily ever after. We all want and need something different so what is right for one sub isn't right for the next.

JMO
~Jenn

_____________________________

~Subspace is my perfect paradise vacation from busy-mind... blessed be to the Dominant who can stamp my ticket there.~

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away"

(in reply to slavedesires)

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