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pixelslave -> RE: Is anal play important, and how do you manage it? (11/20/2006 10:03:02 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: chastityboyinOzz
Sorry, one of my biggest fears about this lifestyle (besides being permenantly chastised) is anal play, and admittedly I'm curious about it, but i'm also very concious of it.
i guess my question is to the Mistresses is, have you ever been turned off by it- (the way it looks, or an accident) and how important is it for You to perform on a sub/slave? Have you encountered sub/slaves (particularly male) who are also concious/worried about it? And, although, i understand that enemas can be performed beforehand, does it clean out everything?
Sorry for the dumb crude questions, but i feel like im not the perfect asshole for this type of play.
chastityboy,
I'm obviously not a Mistress. [:D] But I can tell you that the more you worry and get anxious about this, the more difficult it will likely be for you. This is something that your Mistress will need to work on with you and more than anything, will need to take her time with you to help you learn to relax when she touches you in the ass. [;)]
This is not the time for her to be delivering other sensation that causes pain; pleasure yes, but certainly not pain! Instead, she needs to do anything soothing (including music, stimulating the penis, other erogenous zones, or talking, etc.) that helps you relax and to remind you of how much you trust her. Learning to press down to help open yourself to her as if you were going to have a bowel movement of your own, may help make it easier for her to begin her and your discovery. Using a depends spread on the bed beneath your bottom helps relieve any fears you may have from an accident following a cleansing enema taken before any play. [X(] It is also helpful with a place to put the lube and any which overflows or needs to be put to the side.
You may also want to ask her for permission to begin discovery a period of on your own to help you be more comfortable when you are with her as well. In any case, I highly recommend a book titled "Anal Pleasure and Health" by James Morin PhD (still available on Amazon the last time I looked). It is a long standing reference for those in the lifestyle that you may find helpful in easing your anxieties as well as opening your mind to discovering the pleasures of anal stimulation. It includes many illustrations and exercises to help you overcome the fears that you've described and should you try them, I think you'll in fact be pleasantly surprised. [:D] You see, there are in fact, many nerve endings in the sphincter that can bring great pleasure to a person of either sex. [:)]
So just learn to relax (breathing exercises help a great deal), and let things happen at your own pace, giving your Mistress the feedback that she needs to hear to know to slow down or back out when you need her to, and even to stop at time and perhaps continue later. This is also part of what helps build the trust you need; knowing that your Mistress will respect your limits as you progress and will be patient with you. Before long, you'll probably find that you'll actually be begging her for more! [:)]
I hope you'll find that this is helpful to you. More than anything I hope you will understand that this is a process. It will not happen overnight, unless you want to be raped by your Mistress (or that's what she wants to do to you). I sincerely hope that is not the case. If it is, and that is not what you want as a part of your play, I suggest you get out now while you can and seek help and protection from her. [:@]
This would be what I and others consider abuse. Being raped is no fun whether female or male and is not at all easy to overcome, particularly for a male (who rarely seek the help that they desperately need). I speak from experience and would not wish it upon anyone. Just because you're a sub, doesn't mean you do not have limits that should not be respected. Clearly you have an interest in anal play, but having a loving, patient, and gentle Domme to take you down that path is critical to your mental health and future enjoyment of anal play. You have a responsibility to explain this to your Domme. If she cannot respect this, then you ALWAYS have the option of heading out the door for your own safety, something that is always your first responsibility to yourself. Never give it away to someone who tells you openly they can't be trusted with your safety. Run, don't walk away! Puts soapbox away and turns rant mode off...[8|]
Best of luck to you in your journey of self-discovery in this particular area. I hope you have the right Domme to make it a pleasant and pleasurable one for the both of you. [:)]
- pixel
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