As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic?

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As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 12:12:16 PM

belljar

Posts: 29
Joined: 11/16/2006
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I was browsing around online today, looking for final ideas for my sub's bracelet version (for daily wear) of his formal, permanent collar that I will be presenting to him soon.

I kinda would like something that is symbolic to me, too, of our relationship and was thinking....what about a link chain bracelet. Totally average, somewhat heavy, however the clasp would be just like the clip form the leash to the ring on the play collar....

My leash, symbolic, to his collar, symbolic.

BUT, I wasn't sure whether or not the leash would be something more submissive than a Dominant should be wearing....???

For those Mistresses who do wear something symbolic, what is it?

Post #: 1

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 12:16:53 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Usually I'll just flag left side -- sometimes with a bracelet, a leather one that says "Mistress" on it, or with a longer earring in my left ear.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to belljar)

Post #: 2

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 12:24:43 PM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

I wear a necklace the a pendant that matches my girl's pendant. In fact, her everyday collar is pretty much an identical necklace to mine. I've bought several charms and intend to use them, in some manner, on each collar I give. I used to wear an anklet made of the beads I used in a piercing ritual with jason. I have blood prints from him and myself that I wear on occasion. I also have my Master's vest that has a great deal of memories for me on it, including the first cracker of my first singletail.

And, and Tammy...now that I think about it, I'm always flagging left, too. I hang my keys from my left pocket all the time. Habit now.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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Ms Relationship Books
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(in reply to belljar)

Post #: 3

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 12:30:13 PM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

alright someone help me out here..what's special about the left side???

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 4

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 12:36:25 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

alright someone help me out here..what's special about the left side???

Left = top, dom, sadist
Right = bottom, sub, masochist

I believe in both the gay and lesbian communities and this was also the case in the het and poly communities I was a member of in NYC in the mid-1990s.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 5

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 1:08:49 PM

Najakcharmer

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Joined: 5/3/2004
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I wear my keys on the right side of my belt because I need to open things with my right hand and work with my left hand. That's what I'm used to, and since I work with some bloody dangerous things, I am going to stick with the reflexes that keep me safe. I've attended Munches without taking time to change out of work uniform; sometimes that's the only way I can get there. It would seem ridiculously ostentatious and somehow wouldn't feel right to change my keys over to a "just for show" configuration rather than leaving them where they are supposed to be. If someone needs to know my orientation, they can ask politely. If they are incapable of asking politely, or unwilling to ask, then it isn't their business.

Personally, I feel that I am more defined by my profession and my skills than by my sexuality. So I will continue to wear my keys on the right because that is where my keys belong. Not because I am submissive, but because my keys are not decorations, they are part of my professional toolset, and they serve a specific purpose right where they are. If someone has a problem with that, it's their problem.

I'm not saying that people who do flag are wrong, or ostentatious, or anything else. There's nothing wrong with advertising for a partner or letting people know your orientation if that is what you want to do. But my keys have a very specfic and important meaning to me in my personal and professional life that has nothing to do with kink, so I don't feel comfortable using them to flag with.

< Message edited by Najakcharmer -- 11/21/2006 1:13:19 PM >

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 6

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 1:26:32 PM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
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My confidence :)

(in reply to belljar)

Post #: 7

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 1:39:24 PM

belljar

Posts: 29
Joined: 11/16/2006
Status: offline

Hm. I think I might have been unclear in what I'm asking....I'm asking about something personally symbolic of your relationship with your sub...nothing for the benefit of the community, and with regards of which side to flag being somewhat irrelevant for this question...

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 8

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 1:54:14 PM

Nuke718

Posts: 240
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I believe you were plenty clear belljar. While you may not be getting the ideas you are looking for, the other posters are answering that question.

It is more common for the dominant to have the sub/slave/bottom carry a physical indication of the relationship. If it is a collar, 'nilla friendly jewelry, or a tattoo is irrelevent. Some dominants have keepsakes, some flag, some do nothing.

Some ideas you might appreciate are Master/Mistress collars or wrist bands (available at many adult book stores). Matching jewelry for you and your sub. Matching or interlocking tattoos (anybody catch the cool one on BSG?).

I actually think your chin bracelet ide is quite decent. Don't worry about what others feel is or is not "dominant enough".

N

(in reply to belljar)

Post #: 9

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 2:40:09 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Najakcharmer

I wear my keys on the right side of my belt because I need to open things with my right hand and work with my left hand. That's what I'm used to, and since I work with some bloody dangerous things, I am going to stick with the reflexes that keep me safe. I've attended Munches without taking time to change out of work uniform; sometimes that's the only way I can get there. It would seem ridiculously ostentatious and somehow wouldn't feel right to change my keys over to a "just for show" configuration rather than leaving them where they are supposed to be. If someone needs to know my orientation, they can ask politely. If they are incapable of asking politely, or unwilling to ask, then it isn't their business.

Personally, I feel that I am more defined by my profession and my skills than by my sexuality. So I will continue to wear my keys on the right because that is where my keys belong. Not because I am submissive, but because my keys are not decorations, they are part of my professional toolset, and they serve a specific purpose right where they are. If someone has a problem with that, it's their problem.

I'm not saying that people who do flag are wrong, or ostentatious, or anything else. There's nothing wrong with advertising for a partner or letting people know your orientation if that is what you want to do. But my keys have a very specfic and important meaning to me in my personal and professional life that has nothing to do with kink, so I don't feel comfortable using them to flag with.

I hate the entire wearing keys outside where anyone can see them... yuck. It just makes me completely uncomfortable for several reasons but then I never lack time to just reach in a pocket to get my keys in my careers and I don't need them that often.

I flag when I want to show my BDSM orientation -- no other time because frankly there's no need otherwise.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Najakcharmer)

Post #: 10

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 3:02:39 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear belljar, Ladies and Gentlemen;

I do identify as a dominant, so I do wear a sash where the tassels hang left. In more 'leather' attire, I wear a leather arm band and or leather wist band on the left side. I also wear at times a cover (military style hat)

I was given a crown broach by a dear friend in the lifestyle, which I wear on the left side of my jacket or on the sash/belt area on the left side.

Earrings, I have a couple of sets, one is a 'padlock with key' and another set a key.

I also have a glove fetish. If I take off my gloves, I put them palms together and then tuck the left glove over the right, over the belt or waist line when I am not wearing them. So, when somebody approaches they will see left on top of right.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to belljar)

Post #: 11

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 3:09:28 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Dear belljar, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Reading your clarification, as to within a relationship, showing the connection and role; what might you wear.

I wear a ring that a slave picks out for me and I wear it on the left ring finger. I have no slave presently, so I wear what I wish. The slave is given a token from me, sometimes a ring on a chain. Some of my former slaves had prior military service and gave me their dog tags, some their battle/campaign ribbons or a medal. Some gave me crystal to wear on a necklace and one gave me a sword to wear on a necklace. It really can be rather personal--and, that is what makes it sugnificant.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to belljar)

Post #: 12

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 3:32:42 PM

dxrinc

Posts: 9
Joined: 4/24/2004
Status: offline

MMM Wow LadyHUGS the way you descibed your methods was very beguiling for some reason....Never gave any of what you mentioned any thought until you explained your mind set and what you do...I bow to you Ma'am....sub dan

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 13

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 9:25:56 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: belljar
For those Mistresses who do wear something symbolic, what is it?

LOL I guess I don't answer because I don't wear anything symbolic to the person I'm partnered with, unless it's been personally gifted to me. Regardless, it's nothing like a snap clip or something obvious to even a trained eye.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to belljar)

Post #: 14

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 11:16:47 PM

BootBlackBlast

Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline

Well I wear the keys to whatever locks they are chained up with... just kidding, sometimes. Anyhow, I only wear items with personal signifigance. I will flag left anytime I think I might find someone who would know what that means. But in terms of something that points to my ownership of a sub or slave, I don't wear anything at this time. For my partner I wear a claddagh ring and nothing for my boy as of yet. But even with a partner 20 years my senior, it is pretty obvious that there isn't often a submissive inkling in my system.

_____________________________

Leather Rubbin and Dubbin

Bootblack Blast
Mama's Blast

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 15

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/21/2006 11:38:02 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I have my left ear pierced 3 times as opposed to my right being one. I also wear the keys to Angels collar on my chain when we are together.
We have matching neckchains, which will be his everyday collar once I move down. I just got them recently, and I am looking forward to seeing his reaction :)

DV

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to BootBlackBlast)

Post #: 16

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/22/2006 3:45:23 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

OMG! I never heard this left/right stuff before, but it answers one question; why I had several offers from doms at a party recently!

I wore a belt, which is made up of woven leather strands, with the end being the loose strands, and dressed it to the right - purely because driving is easier that way (RHD in UK) without having strands all over the handbrake etc. Maybe I'd better learn to drive that way!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to DiurnalVampire)

Post #: 17

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/22/2006 9:14:49 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

I have a gold rope chain with a gold celtic knot heart hanging from it. It is symbolic because my sub gave the heart to me, symbolizing his heart and I bought the rope chain signifying my control over him. The knot work inside the heart represents his bondage, our lifestyle.

Its really very pretty and I've gotten alot of compliments on it from those vanilla and those in the lifestyle.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to belljar)

Post #: 18

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/23/2006 5:36:54 AM

leatherzack

Posts: 59
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Left = top, dom, sadist
Right = bottom, sub, masochist

i am left-handed, does it have a meaning ???

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 19

RE: As a Misress, do you wear anything symbolic? - 11/23/2006 7:06:31 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: leatherzack

quote:

ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Left = top, dom, sadist
Right = bottom, sub, masochist

i am left-handed, does it have a meaning ???

Yes. Sinister

E

PS - its a latin reference, Poindexter!

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to leatherzack)

Post #: 20

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