CrazyC -> RE: First time submissive feelings.. (11/22/2006 6:30:18 AM)
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I have always given way too much of myself in my relationships to men, and always ended up hurt or abused. I assumed it was me. It didn't help that my vanilla friends would sit there telling me that i just didn't have enough self esteem, and that if a believed in myself it wouldn't effect me like this. I think the only time i didn't hear that was from friends who were in the BDSM life. They instead became very protective of who i saw, but never talked to me about the life since i wasnt ready at the time. Then i met a guy who we just clicked. He then left for South Carolina and some girl. What i didn't know was he was getting trained to be a Dom, and after she broke his trust he left her. We made contact again, and since i am going through some major life changes...he wanted me to move where he lived. We were just going to see where things went. He asked me to check out castle realm.com to see what i learned there, and after reading something Jade wrote about submittion i realized i found another person like me. When we later talked about it, he told me he already knew i was submissive. I never did go to SC, because right when i was ready to pack he got scared. He thought it was selfish of himself to ask for me to come all the way there. This brought me to searching for friends who understood this life, and well brought me right here to CM. :D
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