a Master's right

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peachsub -> a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:07:45 AM)
i was in real life training with a Master after many months of online communication until a week ago when after a training session, he stopped all communication with me with no explanation of why. Is this his right? After several attempts to communicate with him, i have given up but i am very confused and interested as to what other Doms/Masters thoughts are on this. my profile is not viewable as he posts on collarme but i am not a player and would appreciate constructive repies to this. thankyou.

LordVelvet -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:16:05 AM)
peach, while I suppose it is His "right" as you say, it doesn't make it what others would do. I for one would not walk away from something or someone without an explination. After spending time with this person I can only imagine what you are going through and for that I am sorry. Maybe something came up but I don't know that you should hold your breath either. I hope you get threw this quick and grow as a result. Lord Velvet

MasterFireMaam -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:18:02 AM)
shrug It's his right as much as it's anyone's right to do as they please. Why he did it is "his stuff." How you react to it is "your stuff." You can only control and learn from "your stuff." If he's refusing to answer you, he's not being very adult about ending the relationship. Perhaps he got what he wanted and is moving on or perhaps he simply doesn't know how to handle a break up in a repsonsible manner. Sounds like you're better off learning that fact now rather than later. Cry, get mad, then keep looking. Not everyone behaves like a child. Master Fire

raiken -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:20:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peachsub i was in real life training with a Master after many months of online communication until a week ago when after a training session, he stopped all communication with me with no explanation of why. Is this his right? After several attempts to communicate with him, i have given up but i am very confused and interested as to what other Doms/Masters thoughts are on this. my profile is not viewable as he posts on collarme but i am not a player and would appreciate constructive repies to this. thankyou. That would greatly depend on what you both agreed to in the beginning, and if that was one of the areas he had stated or had been upfront with. Do you remember him stating that he has the right in the future to cut off the connection at any time as he sees fit? If not, then perhaps, something urgent came up and he had to make a quick exit? Stuff like that has been known to happen also, although rare. How well do you believe you know him, and do you believe he is the kind of person who does this to others? Without more depth of your situation, i can only speculate.

MagiksSlave -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:25:39 AM)
ERM... I guess it is anyones right to be an Asshole it doesnt make it ok though and it doesnt make it exeptable for him to do it just because he is a self proclaimed Dom.. Hope that answers your question. Magik's slave

mnottertail -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:29:50 AM)
I am fairly sure he was in a typing accident. Mavis Beacon

emdoub -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:31:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peachsub i was in real life training with a Master after many months of online communication until a week ago when after a training session, he stopped all communication with me with no explanation of why. Is this his right? Yes, it is his right - no one is required to communicate with someone if they do not want to, unless there is a promise or contract otherwise. No, it is not what I'd expect from a trainer, or anyone else - dominant or submissive. Personally, I would likely consider it rude. quote: After several attempts to communicate with him, i have given up but i am very confused and interested as to what other Doms/Masters thoughts are on this. my profile is not viewable as he posts on collarme but i am not a player and would appreciate constructive repies to this. thankyou. Much would depend upon reasonable expectation - how much RT training actually happened, what were the time expectations when you two last communicated, etc. If you two had one RT session and he bailed - well, it's rude, but he's bailed. If you two had several weeks of 3x per week sessions, and he disappeared - there may be a much more serious problem. If the expectation was that he'd be in touch after a week, and it's been 8 days, that's a minor concern - if you had reason to expect contact daily, and it's been a week - that's much more likely to be a problem. I've got a few emails that I'm being slow about answering - one, for not having decided how I want to respond, and another, because I'm not sure how to word the response I need to make. It's been very busy here, from about Friday until today - I've just had lots of other things to do, and my time here is limited to short spurts of reading/posting on the forums - the email will take more time and care than I've been able to give before today. Is it at all possible that this sort of thing is what you're on the other end of? Midnight Writer

bandit25 -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:32:17 AM)
Yup...everyone has the "right" to do whatever. As MasterFireMaam says...your stuff is your stuff and his stuff is his stuff.

peachsub -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:37:25 AM)
Thankyou to all who have responded. i thought i knew Him well ; He was my mentor and i trusted Him completely. There was no mention of Him wanting the relationship to end while i was with Him the last time but i had noticed He seemed troubled by something. i am moving on, but it affects my future relationships because this one had quality time in it, so it makes it difficult to think of opening back up to someone else.

Tobes -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:38:52 AM)
"Right" as in, is he allowed to do this? Unfortunately, yes. I've had this happen to me as well, with submissives. I think that, online or realtime, lifestyle or vanilla, people have the option to walk away from a relationship if they think they've got good reason -- you're in it for yourself and, excepting the exceptions, that's who you have to look out for. But there are certainly good and bad ways to accomplish it. Making up your mind is one thing, but silence as a break-up method is harsh, considering the fact that words are the primary medium of a relationship. He could've talked it over with you, and even if he had issues that couldn't be resolved, at least you would've known what was going to happen and something of why. It's the questions that eat you up, and while knowing might not mitigate the pain, at least it wouldn't magnify it. So, to be glib, it was his right to end the relationship, but the way he did certainly wasn't right.

Kalira -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:39:14 AM)
quote: Is this his right? Sure he has that right. Just as much as you have the right if you were to excercise it. I can remember early on in talks with Master; he told me once that sometimes he will just 'disappear' for days to weeks at a time; with no word before hand and no communication during. /shrug It was something that I accepted; and something that he has the right to do if he so chooses. I did not, and do not have to like it; but it was something that I accepted . Since I am not privvy to the conditions that you and this Master had in place; I can not guess as to his reasons for disappearing.

mnottertail -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:40:06 AM)
In my case, it would affect me so that I would try to see this type of thing coming or better consider the ramifications of what I am doing, but it would not affect any relationship, cause you aint my ex-wife you fuckin' bitch typa thing, know what I mean, Vern? Ron

peachsub -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:40:09 AM)
We spoke almost everyday...He was very ingrained in my personal life. and we had sessioned 3 times prior to the last...

justlooking53 -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:42:47 AM)
peach sub I clicked on your profile and it shows up as a couple. I am a bit confused about that. But i wanted to comment on the issue about him dissapearing without a word. That also happened to me. I thought things were going quite well. Then I didnt hear from him for about 10 days. No e mail,nobody answered the phone etc. I was quite confused,wondering. Then a message, saying he had been ill. Of course I could understand something like that,everybody can. But can a person be that ill that they cant come to the computer or phone? Especially since he conducts alot of his business dealings online. Then again nothing from him for two weeks. Then a message he had been out of town on business,and will be for another 2 or 3 weeks. He also said that he still wanted me but could understand if I changed my mind. I think that was his way of saying goodbye. For me what hurt the most was no explanation to why. If you are finished with me cant you just come out and tell me? That would make things much easier.

mnottertail -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:43:21 AM)
I knew it, goddammit!!!!! 3 sessions and talking like this --- you ain't over your early early 20's are you? Why do I continually play delphi oracle to profile not found, and the 10,000 virgins thing was a fuckin' scam cooked up by benji or someone anyway. Ron Jesus take me now.....

mstrjx -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:48:00 AM)
In all fairness, it's hard to keep a good conversation, much less relationship, when one of the participants has been incarcerated without the other's knowledge. That would qualify as something troubling him. Jeff

peachsub -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:49:41 AM)
What did you know? He had been my mentor for 5 months helping me navigate thru other relationships. Just because we only sessioned 4 times does not mean the groundwork, the foundation of the relationship had not been laid. The real time was a culmination of hours and hours of trust building to actually be able to turn over control to another person. That is why this hurts so bad. 4x and then no word at all. And yes, i am over my 20's... quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I knew it, goddammit!!!!! 3 sessions and talking like this --- you ain't over your early early 20's are you? Why do I continually play delphi oracle to profile not found, and the 10,000 virgins thing was a fuckin' scam cooked up by benji or someone anyway. Ron Jesus take me now.....

Bearlee -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:50:52 AM)
<...pokes Ron...just to make him giggle...........or at least smile a little>

Bearlee -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 10:53:03 AM)
When you're bad, Jeff.......you're really, really BAD!!!

mnottertail -> RE: a Master's right (11/22/2006 11:01:03 AM)
lol, one of these days I am going to fashion my own post like the OPs. Ron

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