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ORIGINAL: Katmistress

You are right in assuming that I was new to all of this when we first started coming here and reading, asking questions and all of that.
The problem is we are still struggling with our entire relationship now because of the frustration that goes with unfulfilled expectations.
The entire thing was just turning into more trouble then it was worth for both of us. To be honest with you, we still don't have it working for us and I totally backed out of it for a long time because it was just not worth the aggravation.
We actually separated recently but we are going to work on this issue this week. I am very determined that it will be my way all the way this time. I have had enough skirting the issue and settling on crumbs or glimpses of what could be.
He has no idea what I have in store for him but I am sure he is going to know his role real soon now.
Thanks for all the great suggestions.
Kat

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ORIGINAL: slaveofKat

I am the slave, or "want-to-be-slave" of Katmistress. This dilemma in our relationship has been going on quite a while now. My viewpoint is that it seems to me that Sometimes she wants to be dominant, in the areas that she chooses, and then most of the rest of the time reverts back into a passive role in the relationship. This drives me nuts because it makes me feel like a yo-yo. She has been saying for over a year how she wants to train me, and gives me this kind of fantasy in my mind that never turns into reality....I have started to think that she really does not want to be dominant, but is afraid she will lose me if she is not, or else she is afraid she will lose me if she is Too dominant and really puts the smackdown. In the latter case she would never lose me. So sometimes I get "uppity" I think just to make her mad so she will @#$% or get off the pot.
On the positive side, I do have to admit that she took the initiative recently to take us shopping for a specific toy "rhymes with Clap-ON" and used it with great satisfaction for her and the domination was INTENSE.
I love her very much, and the frustration is unbearable sometimes. I have been suggesting for us to become involved locally (Seattle area now) and get to know others in the BDSM community, and to try and find a mentor, which she seems to be somewhat agreeable to.