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mean...does someone with a perfectly clear and uninjured body just walk into a police station and claim their spouse clocked them with a shoe?  I would imagine you'd have to show a mark.  So unless these people are self-injuring and staggering into the police station with a stiletto heel that they stuck in their own damn eye , how the hell are all these innocent spouses (male or female here) going to prison for abuse?

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ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

I suppose to repeat my self but the really serious underlying problem as I see it is not so much that either Women or Men will lie and give half truths to try to make their case, what seems to have happened over the last few years is that Women appear to be thought to be so "relation ship perfect" as to be incapable of, to use a fancy word , dissembly.  ie if a Women says a Man abused  her, thats it, the Man must be in the wrong. As you can see many posters in this thread know this is untrue but unfortunately the PC thinkers who at the moment have too much influence believe it.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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mean...does someone with a perfectly clear and uninjured body just walk into a police station and claim their spouse clocked them with a shoe?  I would imagine you'd have to show a mark.  So unless these people are self-injuring and staggering into the police station with a stiletto heel that they stuck in their own damn eye , how the hell are all these innocent spouses (male or female here) going to prison for abuse?

My brother was almost arrested for spousal abuse even though he did not hit his wife. She chased him out of their home and in front of the neighbors tore the shirt off his body. He then proceded to hold her wrists while she attempted to beat him to protect himself from her... all in full view of the neighbors... after she had exhausted herself he let go of her and she called the cops on him, and claimed he had held her down and abused her... she had marks on her wrists where he had held them.

The cops were getting ready to load him into the car when two neighbors came and stopped them by corroborating his rendition of what happened. If they had been unwilling to involve themselves or had not been home his ass would have been parked in jail on a spousal abuse charge.

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ORIGINAL: seeksfemslave

I suppose to repeat my self but the really serious underlying problem as I see it is not so much that either Women or Men will lie and give half truths to try to make their case, what seems to have happened over the last few years is that Women appear to be thought to be so "relation ship perfect" as to be incapable of, to use a fancy word , dissembly.  ie if a Women says a Man abused  her, thats it, the Man must be in the wrong. As you can see many posters in this thread know this is untrue but unfortunately the PC thinkers who at the moment have too much influence believe it.

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ORIGINAL: marieToo  I would like to know if anyone has any documented cases that they could link me to where males or females for that matter were sentenced to jail terms soley on the basis of their spouses word,  without investigation, without a history being taken, without legal counsel and without going through the system.  Thanks.

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ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

What I understand, from my involvement with the police here in UK - I'm a part time adviser btw!

You make a complaint against a person
The police investigate the complaint, including an informal "chat" with the person
If there is sufficient initial evidence to support the complaint, the person is arrested
They then make further, more formal investigations to gather evidence
If there is sufficient formal evidence the person is charged, and either cautioned, bailed or kept in custody if no bail
The Crown Prosecution Service (a bit like the DA), assesses the evidence and decides whether to prosecute
If the prosecution goes ahead, a court date is arranged and the person ordered to attend if on bail
Court process, ending in acquital or sentence

E

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Unfortunately his wife and him patched it up for several years after this one incidence, and they have now been divorced for over a decade.

I will say Marie, my exhusband and I split and I had a restraining order put on him to establish custody of my son in my county without filing divorce. He threatened to pick my son up while I was gone and keep him. In essense I was afraid he would kidnap my son out of my custody. I was a nursing mother at the time. I never once said he abused me or my son in the request for a restraining order, just that he threatened to remove my son from my home. I never claimed to be in fear of him... but my ex later told me that the constable that served him with papers gave him a veiled threat that if he ignored the restraining order that they would see to it that he "resisted arrest"... there is more than one way to skin a cat, and the authorities have their own way of discerning the truth of what is without being "told".. yes my ex was abusive, even physically, and yes that constable called me before he delivered the papers to my ex, and yes I was afraid of him and that was probably apparent in the conversation... but I never said he hit me, it was assumed, and that bothered me on a deep level. I felt it was unfair, even though there was no love lost between my ex and I, even though I felt I had to protect myself from him legally. I really was not afraid my exhusband was going to go psycho on me, and I did not want to abuse the system by claiming to be afraid of that when I was not... too many women DO lie about such things.

I have this male child, lord help a woman that thinks she is going to beat the crap out of him and thinks she can get away with it, he is as much of a human being as anyone else... and while I raised him to be nice and respectful of girls, I do not share the obligation to be nice if some woman started using him as a punching bag... WEG. I think I view this from the angle of having men in my life that I adore and love. I know they have feelings. I know that if you hit anyone they bleed.  Like has been mentioned, it is ok to insult men in the eyes of many, I do not agree with that. I do not find it funny to be honest. I get offended by it. We are all human beings, and if people expect one set of human beings to be one way, and the other set of human beings is not held up to the same accountability that is just wrong.

I do think that women often have the shorter end of the stick in many ways compared to men, especially on the financial end of the stick, but that does not give us the right to be denigrating to the male gender... and I am not talking about you specifically Marie, but others that I have seen do this on many other threads more than on this one, I wanted to make sure you did not take every comment in this post to be to you personally, because for the most part this post is toward the board in general.

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ORIGINAL: marieToo
Also people do not get put in jail on a claim that someone makes.  If someone (woman or man) has a knot on their head where their spouse nailed them with a frying pan, well, I guess thats abuse, regardless of who threw what first.  I mean, if you dont bruise, cut, or leave an injury on someone's body, then no one can run to the cops and claim they were hit with something. I mean...does someone with a perfectly clear and uninjured body just walk into a police station and claim their spouse clocked them with a shoe?  I would imagine you'd have to show a mark.  So unless these people are self-injuring and staggering into the police station with a stiletto heel that they stuck in their own damn eye , how the hell are all these innocent spouses (male or female here) going to prison for abuse?

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What about the fact that women's prisons in America are overflowing with women who have been charged with assault and battery, not just in burglary etc but many against men in other types of situations.  If it was the general trendy legal belief that a woman couldnt possibly violate a man physically, there wouldnt be so many women in jail for such charges.

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And I have no shame in admitting that if someone chucks a roast beef sandwich at me, Im gonna nail them with the potato salad. 

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ORIGINAL: jblack

I'm glad that this topic is being pursued in a serious way; it's a serious topic.

As many of you have pointed out, men are abused by women. This abuse does carry a specific kind of stigma because--as much as it should NOT be this way--there is an underlying, widespread social acceptance of violence against women. If a woman is abused, raped, or otherwise violated, there is a social system designed to both further abuse and protect her (that the justice system for you, I guess). But there is less of a system in place if one is man; we simply do not believe that such abuse happens, even though it does.

However, that does not make either form of abuse any "worse" than the other form. It doesn't make it "easier" for a women because society accepts the fact that men abuse women, and it doesn't make it "easier" for a man because society gives men more power. In both cases, abuse has been perpetuated, and the consequences of that abuse will probably be different for each person.

Because the violence against women is so much more prevalent and widespread, it often appears as a greater threat in terms of our society in general. This seems particularly apt when considering how many men kill women each year. Women do kill men, yes, but not nearly on the scale that men kill women. Women do abuse men, yes, but nearly as often as men abuse women. Men are molested, yes, but not nearly as often as women are raped. Violence against women seems like a bigger social problem because it is a bigger social problem.

But it is not a "bigger" personal problem. To the person that's being abused, the statistics matter, but they don't matter as much as the painful dynamic. A man who is abused will suffer, and his suffering will be different from the suffering felt by a woman because of the patriarchical systems already in place. But that doesn't mean that either suffering should be discounted in any way.

It's too bad that people (i.e., Assclown) try to set up this issue as a polarizing one. It's not about men vs. women. It's about violence and how to respond to violence in a culture that (let's face it) perpetuates violence all the time. Like I said from the start, a serious topic.