RE: Critique? Me too! (Full Version)

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PaintedLady -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/8/2005 2:58:10 PM)

Dear Bob-

That's a great profile! The things that would keep me from responding are-

Geography: I can't relocate, and as a friend says, the probelm with the desert is- all that beach, and no ocean!

Age: you are a little older than my comfort zone- not that it would stop me without reason one!

No picture of your motorcycle: my first BDSM experiance involved being tied face down and whipped over the back of a Black BMW in a dark parking lot. (note to noobies- don't try this at home, kids! things like safecalls and checking him out first are reccommmended!) That left me with an irristible urge to throw my self over the saddle of any bike I see! [:D] and means i have to bring a fresh pair of panties to the bikeshow[;)]

Cats: I am sure I'd get along fine with your cats. the question is would they get along fine with my cats.

quote:

I am looking for a slave.


I like the word 'slave', but stop a little when I see it as a requirement, as I dont know how YOU define it. I define it as a good word to use if you don't like being called "submissive".

Keep posting! you are funny and nice, and thats way better than anything you can write in your profile!

yours,

Kat



Overlord218 -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/8/2005 5:45:46 PM)

Yep, good profile Bob. My one "critique", for want of a better word is by being so specific in terms of physical build/fitness etc, I'd think a big number of subs wouldn't bother reading any further. In fact, Tangwystal said it perfectly in her post. Myself personally, I couldn't care less what their build is. It's whats in their mind that attracts me... absolutely!

Maybe edit it with net fishing rather than longline in mind?



DesertRat -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/10/2005 8:12:28 AM)

Thanks for the good words, Kat. I want to respond to a couple points.

Geography: We do have oceans here...several, in fact. Unfortunately, they all receded and/or dried up millions of years ago, leaving behind the aforementioned kickass beaches.

Age: I look, act, and feel younger than I am, so I've applied to the state for a Notice of Age Reduction Permit....hard, but not impossible to get here in NM.

Motorcycle: I am presently "between" motorcycles. I suppose I could post pics of my last bike...a black and silver Yamaha FZR-1000--one of the most fearsomely badass bikes to ever exist. But I think that might be misleading, since I don't have it anymore.

After reading your ministory about being whipped over a bike, I am considering redefining my priorities and may have a new scorcher later this year!

Thanks again...........................Bob


Overlord: Thanks for your comments, too. I am admittedly shallow in the "required looks" department. I wouldn't be with a jerk just because she was hot, but I have to say that I do indeed need to be physically attracted to my partner, and appearance therefore is important to me. I can't pretend otherwise. Luckily for me, there are many very nice and very together women out there who also happen to be quite fine-looking...at least to my eye.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PaintedLady

Dear Bob-

That's a great profile! The things that would keep me from responding are-

Geography: I can't relocate, and as a friend says, the probelm with the desert is- all that beach, and no ocean!

Age: you are a little older than my comfort zone- not that it would stop me without reason one!

No picture of your motorcycle: my first BDSM experiance involved being tied face down and whipped over the back of a Black BMW in a dark parking lot. (note to noobies- don't try this at home, kids! things like safecalls and checking him out first are reccommmended!) That left me with an irristible urge to throw my self over the saddle of any bike I see! [:D] and means i have to bring a fresh pair of panties to the bikeshow[;)]

Cats: I am sure I'd get along fine with your cats. the question is would they get along fine with my cats.

quote:

I am looking for a slave.


I like the word 'slave', but stop a little when I see it as a requirement, as I dont know how YOU define it. I define it as a good word to use if you don't like being called "submissive".

Keep posting! you are funny and nice, and thats way better than anything you can write in your profile!

yours,

Kat




RiotGirl -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/10/2005 9:18:33 AM)

Access denied. Not allowed to have personal information to throw in my face at a later time.



DesertRat -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/10/2005 11:47:40 AM)

RiotGirl: That is a very very good idea!! I was born and raised in a big city and really loved all that city stuff. I still dig those things, but now I live a vastly different life in a vastly different place and have discovered other pleasures. I should talk about that in the profile so that someone will know that this place does have lots of good points, and offers more than deprivation and solitude. Thanks!

Bob

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

My suggestions. List some of the qualities of living out there. The "nature" aspect of it. Going hiking, fishing, hunting for snakes or whatever. Doing so, you are liable to find a woodsy type sub who LOVES the outdoors. (which is what i thought when i saw the "foothills ..." ) You could try describing what life is like there. What they have to look forward doing while they are there.





domtimothy46176 -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/10/2005 4:00:06 PM)

OK, do me next, lol. Errr, perhaps I should re-phrase that to say anyone wanna weigh in on my profile. I love constructive criticism.
Timothy



DesertRat -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/10/2005 9:51:38 PM)

I'm gonna look at yours right now.

I think the critique thing works better, though if you start a separate thread dedicated to critiques of your profile.

Bob

quote:

ORIGINAL: domtimothy46176

OK, do me next, lol. Errr, perhaps I should re-phrase that to say anyone wanna weigh in on my profile. I love constructive criticism.
Timothy




domtimothy46176 -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/14/2005 12:25:48 AM)

Well to be absolutely honest, lol, I was really hoping to have the girls line up and tell me how incredibly intriguing my profile is. [:)] I don't mind fishing for compliments as long as all the girlies are biting, lol.



DesertRat -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/14/2005 10:54:25 AM)

Okay, I looked at your profile. I think it's very good in some ways. It clearly states what you are all about. But I think it's redundant. I immediately understood that you are honest and ethical and expect nothing less from others. But I felt that was restated too many times in the profile. Saying the same thing in different ways. It also has a somewhat somber tone.

I notice nobody else has responded with a critique. My suggestion about that is to start a new thread with a snappy header....like "Hey! I changed my profile; waddya think?" or "Win a 2005 Mustang....Critique my profile!" or something.

Bob



domtimothy46176 -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/14/2005 8:25:41 PM)

Yeah, it does have some built-in redundancy, but I can live with that as well as the somber tone. It's there to keep the frivolous at bay. I didn't really expect to hear differently but I do appreciate the critique.



sparrowjagua -> RE: Critique? Me too! (3/16/2005 12:39:01 AM)

hello
how are you doing am a female this is my yahoo id add me and let chat ,ok thank you



DesertRat -> Critiquing Update, Please (6/4/2005 6:27:47 PM)

Me again...

I have updated my profile, especially the journal section, to reflect recent experiences. Really wrestling with that, so I thought maybe I could get some input from you folks. The journal entries are...maybe too negative? Too serious? Sometimes I think I should just dump them. Sometimes I think they need to be there. Any thoughts? Coming in cold, what effect, if any, would they have on you?

Thanks,

Bob (not Bobcat.....most definitely not)........DesertRat



Isolde -> RE: Critiquing Update, Please (6/4/2005 8:10:58 PM)

My first impression was that your profile is honest, down to earth, comfortable (with yourself, with what you're searching for), calm, patient. The journal entries themselves don't strike me as negative at all but then I don't know the state of mind you were when you wrote them. Maybe that's reflecting on them for you?

Were I searching for someone, yours is the sort of profile that would catch my eye. The tone it's written in, the attitude it conveys, are very appealing.

You do have some very cute cats, too. :)



DesertRat -> RE: Critiquing Update, Please (6/4/2005 8:23:50 PM)

Thanks, Isolde. That is just the kind of input I was hoping to get. I have changed those recent entries repeatedly. Some of the earlier versions were pointedly bitter....or maybe bitterly pointed...so I have been changing them...and changing them...and dumping them...then changing...you get the idea. Trying to say what I feel I need to without bitterness.

Bob



Isolde -> RE: Critiquing Update, Please (6/4/2005 8:29:41 PM)

I understand. I didn't pick up on much bitterness at all. Experience, certainly, and not necessarily positive for you but also of the sort that seems to have refined what you're looking for. Or at least helped you better articulate it. :)



DesertRat -> RE: Critiquing Update, Please (6/4/2005 8:43:25 PM)

Thanks. That was what I was aiming for. I hope some others will chime in with some opinions later.

Bob

ps You have a well-written profile, too.



jennel -> RE: Critique? Me too! (6/5/2005 2:06:48 AM)

The cat pictures are adorable. Your profile seems straight forward. I'm sure you'll find the right girl as long as you're patient and persist. :)



DesertRat -> RE: Critique? Me too! (6/5/2005 6:33:08 AM)

Thank you, jennel. I will patiently persist. I actually have had some success meeting people here. The first one was great, but we just didn't click. The second one was a definite match...but only with certain aspects of her multi-faceted personality. Hoping to meet someone like her, but better sorted.

Bob



Quivver -> RE: Critique? Me too! (6/5/2005 7:16:25 AM)

Your Profile is excelent........ If I had to venture a guess I'd say Rural scares others off, Age too, lol.... then again it could just be the honesty.



DesertRat -> RE: Critique? Me too! (6/5/2005 7:52:07 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Your Profile is excelent........ If I had to venture a guess I'd say Rural scares others off, Age too, lol.... then again it could just be the honesty.


Well, I figure it's best to paint as clear a picture as possible. I suppose the rural setting puts some off, but it's just the ticket for others. Also, I try to make it clear that, while I live in the country, I am definitely not "country".

Bob



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