Vision mapping

Vision mapping (Full Version)

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crouchingtigress -> Vision mapping (11/27/2006 7:09:33 AM)
Julia's post on arguments got me thinking about vision mapping. vision mapping is becoming very clear on paper, on the goals and dreams you and your partner with to achieve, and then define the steps you need to take to get there. ideally folks who use this process set up time to recapitulate and assess their relationship every so often and see if they are on the right track or if they need to shift gears somewhere. the way it has been described to me was like using a map, and how with out a map you can find yourself off course, asking strangers that dont know the answers, and maybe eventually you get there but its a bumpy road. i never knew of this technique when i was in a serious relationship but i think it would have been a good idea... do you have a plan for your relationship? did you write it down? do you hold yourself accountable to it with you partner?

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 7:20:38 AM)
Considering how many subs adore journaling, I'm surprised more don't get into this. My guess is because it forces them to itemize their issues and come up with solutions that they have to participate in while journals just let them be angsty teen poets all over again. I've been known to write some points out when trying to organize my thoughts, but not really used it in discussion.

MmakeMme -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 7:24:26 AM)
Yikes. Accountability. ~chuckle~ It is a very good idea and worth a shot. However, I used to be a procrastinator. I have decided, though, to put off procrastinating until later.

sleazy -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 7:27:11 AM)
Whilst having never written things out on paper in such a manner I have in the past had a relationship with some clear goals, targets, objectives (label as appropriate) Many things were discussed and given "due dates". Most of the items on the virtual list were not actually about the relationship as a whole, but rather specific things we wanted to achive and because of other considerations we could not put things back very often.

Mercnbeth -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 7:30:44 AM)
quote: do you have a plan for your relationship? did you write it down? do you hold yourself accountable to it with you partner? CT, Yes, we did all that back in the beginning. And yes we very much hold each other accountable to the document that was created to be a reference point. What I said to beth back then was; "We need to have goals for us. How else will we know we've succeeded, or at minimum know we are on the right path?" If there is a question of behavior, it really helps as an authoritative reference point.

theGuideGoddess -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 7:43:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress vision mapping is becoming very clear on paper, on the goals and dreams you and your partner with to achieve, and then define the steps you need to take to get there. Great question ct. I have learned that successful people do this, not only in relationships but every area of their life. It allows us to keep our minds clear and focus on what is actually going on, giving us a cleared avenue to the correct answers or solutions because we have a GOAL. ideally folks who use this process set up time to recapitulate and assess their relationship every so often and see if they are on the right track or if they need to shift gears somewhere. Exactly! That is where I feel it can even be like renegotiation of the relationship. So many people are so quick to end a relationship without consideration of all other options that might be there to move the relationship in a positive direction. Ending is sometimes just easier and so it is the more chosen path. Where as if they would choose to look at it from a gear changing or minor shift they could have their happiness right in front of them. I think the map perspective makes it very clean, clear and simple to understand. Unfortunately they aren’t listing all the construction zones and road blocks that may lie ahead ;). I am often puzzled at how people look to solve their problems. There is so much wisdom out there and yet people often seek the wrong resource to find their forward movement. In so doing they find themselves going in reverse and are wondering WTF!!! do you have a plan for your relationship? did you write it down? do you hold yourself accountable to it with you partner? I do and it is very helpful. The first week of each year it is our policy to review all of the preceding year and see what is good in our life and relationships and see what is not working. Analyze both and then adjust our course. I have also heard people refer to this as being the captain of your life and keeping your ship on course. Don’t you think the world would be a better place if we were taught these simple and yet logical techniques when we were children? Life is simple, it is people who complicate it. The Guiding Goddess

AuburnLady40 -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 7:52:50 AM)
Vision mapping? planning a relationship? I've found through the course of the long term relationships I've been involved with, that's an impossibility to pre-plan a direction of where relationship will go. One can hope at best. As we grow and experience life, both in and outside of the relationship, we are constantly being redefined - our prespectives of what we need to be fulfilled changes. One can hope our partner's changes continue to mesh with our needs, but more often that is not the case as each of us grow or learn differently from life experiences we encounter.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 7:56:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MercnbethCT, Yes, we did all that back in the beginning. And yes we very much hold each other accountable to the document that was created to be a reference point. i had a feeling that if any one on this board did, you guys did! quote: How else will we know we've succeeded, or at minimum know we are on the right path?" If there is a question of behavior, it really helps as an authoritative reference point. that is how i see it too, a reference point, and it is not a coincidence that you too have one of the healthiest relationships i have seen... and i like that for you it is not just about the subs accountability its yours too and you really see that and embrace it... if i ever find some one i could be serious about, i will surly use reference points...and i will make a point to celebrate milestones as we go along...after all, my philosophy you can never have too many days of recognition and celebration in life![:D]

crouchingtigress -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 8:10:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theGuideGoddess Great question ct. I have learned that successful people do this, not only in relationships but every area of their life. It allows us to keep our minds clear and focus on what is actually going on, giving us a cleared avenue to the correct answers or solutions because we have a GOAL. i have learned this too, to bad we are not taught it in school....its almost like you have to have a mentor to learn it quote: Exactly! That is where I feel it can even be like renegotiation of the relationship. So many people are so quick to end a relationship without consideration of all other options that might be there to move the relationship in a positive direction. Ending is sometimes just easier and so it is the more chosen path. Where as if they would choose to look at it from a gear changing or minor shift they could have their happiness right in front of them you make a great point there, i am guilty of throwing in the towel too early myself in the past. . quote: I think the map perspective makes it very clean, clear and simple to understand. Unfortunately they arent’t listing all the construction zones and road blocks that may lie ahead ;). I am often puzzled at how people look to solve their problems. There is so much wisdom out there and yet people often seek the wrong resource to find their forward movement. In so doing they find themselves going in reverse and are wondering WTF!!![ you might really like and find value in a series i have that talks about the strategies of very successful people and even includes and extensive vision mapping journal email me for the info quote: do you have a plan for your relationship? did you write it down? do you hold yourself accountable to it with you partner? I do and it is very helpful. The first week of each year it is our policy to review all of the preceding year and see what is good in our life and relationships and see what is not working. Analyze both and then adjust our course. I have also heard people refer to this as being the captain of your life and keeping your ship on course. Don’t you think the world would be a better place if we were taught these simple and yet logical techniques when we were children? yes....definatly, esp since i think that deep down in the core of everyone is good, and we all ultimately have many of the same goals...world peace, prosperity, love...and i can olny imagine that we would get there faster if we aligned our self with that.

Kalira -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 8:14:24 AM)
quote: do you have a plan for your relationship? did you write it down? do you hold yourself accountable to it with you partner? Not in the sense that I think you are meaning. My plans for our relationship are pretty simple. Be the best slave that I can to Master and do not give him a reason to doubt his ownership of me. Do I write it down? No. Do I hold myself accontable to Master? Absolutly.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 8:19:26 AM)
I have done a seminar on mind-mapping before, and I'm thinking this is similar or maybe even the same as to what you are talking about. We have not gotten as specific or formal as to write anything down, but often times along our journey together he has posed questions to learn from me where I would like to go, and what I would like to be within our relationship. I may or not always get that, but it helps him know my mind and where he needs to encourage or re-direct. He will also share with me his vision of our future, as well, as it gives me something to work toward. If he has formal goals written down, I have not seen them, nor do I really need to. I follow his direction, and his direction is based on the combined knowledge of both of us. In my former marriage, we did something similar to vision mapping. But we could never stick to it because of his personality and our subsequent dynamic. I believe any tool is successful or not successful based on the people using it. Thanks for posing such an interesting question :)

Tikkiee -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 8:29:51 AM)
The only thing that we have focused on so far is just getting me to a place where I am comfortable with my [&:] [:-] role [:)]. /sigh

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 8:46:57 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress do you have a plan for your relationship? did you write it down? do you hold yourself accountable to it with you partner? Yes. Yes. Yes. And, I'm writing a book about it becasue 1) it's suprised me how many people ask about it and 2) I dreamed that I should. I think it could help people...and, since I'm a teacher, I find that to be of value. House of Fire Manual Master Fire

crouchingtigress -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 8:52:30 AM)
i have to go to work for a bit...ill come back asap...thanks for the great responses so far... owned girlie, i totally agree with you about the success being based on the people using it...i am working hard to become the sort of person that will commit to using this exercise for my life time. something you said fascinated me though,..i want to write more but ill ask it in another thread cuz i am late and i dont want to hijack myself...[:)] cassandra; wow i relate, i had a very hard adjustment to slavery, so hard in fact i realized i could only do it for a couple of years...but i wanted to ask you if you are finding any tools helpful?...i know anchoring was helpful and isolation was not so much....i also liked the tool of journaling, and weekly check ins where i could say anything on my mind with out fear of reproach....but my most useful tool in shifting into the slave mindset was hanging out with other long term slaves.

Tikkiee -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 8:56:55 AM)
quote: cassandra; wow i relate, i had a very hard adjustment to slavery, so hard in fact i realized i could only do it for a couple of years...but i wanted to ask you if you are finding any tools helpful?...i know anchoring was helpful and isolation was not so much....i also liked the tool of journaling, and weekly check ins where i could say anything on my mind with out fear of reproach....but my most useful tool in shifting into the slave mindset was hanging out with other long term slaves Alot of my struggle has to do with past issues that even to this day I am still trying to come to terms with. My past had pretty much shaped my present, and trying to come to terms with the fact that I may be more than what I was is where my biggest struggle is. You are correct in the assessment though that anchoring is much better for me than isolation. Unfortunatly, until I finish my school year here, being by myself ( or alone ) is the only option. He does try though to be an anchor for me; something that I can hold on to and look forward to so to speak.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 8:57:52 AM)
*great manual thanks for the link...its pretty extensive though can you point to the part that is about vision mapping....i will* read it all eventually i am sure[;)]**

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 9:16:28 AM)
I think the manual IS the vision mapping.

crouchingtigress -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 9:21:12 AM)
oh...oppps...thanks LA[:)]

daddysprop247 -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 9:37:41 AM)
sounds interesting, but that's not my Master's style. He does have clear goals for our relationship, and he has a clearly defined path of where he wants me to go in slavery, and how he wishes to lead me there. but nothing on paper, and nothing that he would ever share with me in detail. as for the issue of accountability...that's very much one-sided in our union. i am accountable for many things, but he is not accountable to me. He has no obligations to me and he has made no vows to me. i am his slave, his beloved slave but slave nonetheless, and he does not treat me like an equal partner or think of our union as one of mutual fulfillment/accountability. it is also his perogative to change his mind about anything at any time, including the ways he wants me to grow and develop as his slave. so vision mapping wouldn't really work for us, although i can see how it could have been helpful when i was single/unowned.

Wildfleurs -> RE: Vision mapping (11/27/2006 10:27:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress Julia's post on arguments got me thinking about vision mapping. vision mapping is becoming very clear on paper, on the goals and dreams you and your partner with to achieve, and then define the steps you need to take to get there. ideally folks who use this process set up time to recapitulate and assess their relationship every so often and see if they are on the right track or if they need to shift gears somewhere. the way it has been described to me was like using a map, and how with out a map you can find yourself off course, asking strangers that dont know the answers, and maybe eventually you get there but its a bumpy road. i never knew of this technique when i was in a serious relationship but i think it would have been a good idea... do you have a plan for your relationship? did you write it down? do you hold yourself accountable to it with you partner? No - it just never made sense to me. Relationships and people evolve, I'd never want to hold someone to a piece of paper from a few years ago. C~

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