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RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 6:33:19 AM

boundupone

Posts: 53
Joined: 11/24/2006
Status: offline

For me personally I cannot imagine this sort of situation. I would want my 'real' partner to fill all the gaps. I would have either a number of play partners for fun and games, or a real partner that I would be with to the exclusion of all others and I would expect the same back.

(in reply to damia)

Post #: 21

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 12:41:16 PM

RiotGirl

Posts: 3149
Status: offline

I WANT A BOYFRIEND TOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

But my Dom doesnt seem to be inclined to agree with me. Which really doesnt work for me as i've SEVERAL GUYS FUCKING LINED UP!!!!!!!!! ARG! i think i DESERVE a boyfriend! I want little subbie men running around pampering me too! I want to let the guys at my school give me back rubs until i melt onto the floor .. i WANT many boyfriends actually. AND the penis schnitzel of a DOM has told me NO - over and over and over AND OVER again.

there i feel better - when's the next meeting?

P.S. count yourself lucky

< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 11/28/2006 12:43:51 PM >

(in reply to boundupone)

Post #: 22

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 1:34:46 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

It is interesting that so many submissives feel the need to give the solution "Just make your Master your one and only." Did it ever occur to any of you that maybe this person's Master doesn't want her full time? Maybe its his perfect relationship "on the side"? Why do you feel the need to (1) put your desires on the scarce bones of this post and (2) feel the need to reassure us (and yourself) how wonderful and perfect your "One" is?

That said, to the OP: the relationship you describe is hardly unique. Assuming you didn't know that (and considering you haven't bothered to post a profile, and the "Look at ME!" style of what amounts to your third post, that's granting you a lot), many people have D/s partners other than their life partners.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 23

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 2:33:11 PM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

I would want my 'real' partner to fill all the gaps.

Oh wow, yet another way to use *real*.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to boundupone)

Post #: 24

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 5:56:21 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

It is interesting that so many submissives feel the need to give the solution "Just make your Master your one and only." Did it ever occur to any of you that maybe this person's Master doesn't want her full time? Maybe its his perfect relationship "on the side"? Why do you feel the need to (1) put your desires on the scarce bones of this post and (2) feel the need to reassure us (and yourself) how wonderful and perfect your "One" is?

That said, to the OP: the relationship you describe is hardly unique. Assuming you didn't know that (and considering you haven't bothered to post a profile, and the "Look at ME!" style of what amounts to your third post, that's granting you a lot), many people have D/s partners other than their life partners.

E.

So it's ok to use someone in a bad way with no concern for the emotional damage such detatchment and lack of caring might cause. I wonder how many Masters with this attitude would feel if the situation was reversed. I don't mean the obedience part, just the idea of another touching His property.

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 25

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 6:08:25 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I didn't notice it was "so many" submissives. Actually, there haven't been all that many responses to this post. I think those that did are simply stating what is or what they this would be ideal for them. No big.

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 26

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 7:15:20 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

katylied: Oh wow, yet another way to use *real*.

Its a synonym for "twue".

RUN RUN RUN AWAY...he said it! ARRRRRRRRRRRGggggggggggghhhhh

Oh, and...

quote:

bandit25: I didn't notice it was "so many" submissives. Actually, there haven't been all that many responses to this post. I think those that did are simply stating what is or what they this would be ideal for them. No big.

Bandit: roughly I count just under 1/2 of the posts on the thread saying it in some way. But there are those that say it over and over in multiple posts...so maybe you are correct. Not "so many". My point simply was that people give advice without having a clue about what is actually going on. That's nothing new, either.

E

< Message edited by Emperor1956 -- 11/28/2006 7:16:36 PM >

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 27

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 7:28:29 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

I don't have a clue as to what is going on. I simply referred to the comment that I underlined.

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 28

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/28/2006 9:08:58 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

I WANT A BOYFRIEND TOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

But my Dom doesnt seem to be inclined to agree with me. Which really doesnt work for me as i've SEVERAL GUYS FUCKING LINED UP!!!!!!!!! ARG! i think i DESERVE a boyfriend! I want little subbie men running around pampering me too! I want to let the guys at my school give me back rubs until i melt onto the floor .. i WANT many boyfriends actually. AND the penis schnitzel of a DOM has told me NO - over and over and over AND OVER again.

there i feel better - when's the next meeting?

P.S. count yourself lucky

Umm ok this rant coupled with your current umm growth opportunity has me thinking 2 words...jerry springer

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to RiotGirl)

Post #: 29

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/29/2006 1:14:44 AM

CandleInTheWind

Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sirssatin

I don't know how to ask this. I have a Master and a boyfriend but they are not the same person. My b/f is kinky but not really into the whole alternate lifestyle thing. He knows I am but doesn't want me to tell him anything. He knows I have a male friend (his words) who I call Master. We have alot in common, have been through alot together and spend most holidays together. My Master is exactly that. A 25 year lifestyler who I serve in whatever capacity He desires. I cannot be away from him too long until I start feeling cut adrift and panicky.
Is this type of arrangement very common?

pretty much this is exactly the situation i normally find myself in....I normally have a boyfriend and a DOminant...hence the reason my D/s play is not sexual realted...not every one nderstand that I have "NOT HAD SEXUAL RELATIONS " with that man! LOl call me bill i dont care. but pretty much that is the way my relationships have been....with the exception of the last man i was with....but the difference was at that time I didnt have a boyfriend at the time so it was nice to be able to do all of my activities and have all of my "needs" be fuflfilled by one person....My issues with having a boyfriend inthe past was that I limit sexual partners wit one at a time in life...not just one man at a time...in fact that isnt a limit...the attachment is...so if i were to be sexually invvolved with more thanone man at a time...well then all of the men have to be in the same place...Ie i would rather have sex with 2 men at once then to have sex with 2 men inthe course of my day...get what i am saying? I feelt he needd for me to have the men in my life to be aware of the behaviors that I am partaking of as ar as sexual things. but that is just my little issue

have a great day

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to sirssatin)

Post #: 30

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/29/2006 3:15:48 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

i used to think that to have less than the relationship i wanted was to "settle" and that to "settle" was a bad thing. i just changed the word to "compromise" and find i'm much happier for it. Perception is reality and if you can't change your reality, change your perception.

Wouldn't it be lovely if one's Dom was also one's boyfriend or husband or committed significant other? i can't make a boyfriend be a Dominant, i can't make a Dominant be my boyfriend. How much joy and pleasure would i miss out on if i waited for the perfect dynamic to fall into my lap?

The only difficulty i've found is most "boyfriends" i've had would never want to share me with a Dom while the Doms are relieved if i find someone else to take me to the movies.

to the OP: enjoy. don't worry about how common or uncommon your situation is, just enjoy.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)

Post #: 31

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/29/2006 6:20:10 AM

michellerose

Posts: 5
Joined: 6/23/2006
Status: offline

okay... real partners? please. a partner of any kind is real, regardless of how you want to play it.

i am currently in a relationship with two wonderful people. one of them is my partner, my lover and my friend. the other is my dominant. the catch here is that my Dominant is also her Master. and no, we're not like subbie sisters, or just two of His women. we love each other deeply and it's on eof the most fulfilling relationships i've ever had with a non-dominant partner. we both have our needs fulfilled with our Master/Dom, and it's a great relationship. there is NO WAY i would ever give her up, and there's also no way she could EVER full my submissive needs for a Dominant.

it isn't as uncommon as you might think to have two partners. and you know what? some Dominanats don't want the kind of romantic love attachement you find with a bf/gf. there's a different feel, a different kind of love going there. yes, i do share that with my Dominant, but i know MANY other who don't, and in the past i have had several Dominants who were only that to me, and nothing more.

as long as you communicate, as long as you know what's going on, as long as all your artners of whatever kind are satisfied, then you're fine. there's no such thing as a "real" Dom, sub, Master, slave, or RELATIONSHIP. whatever you have, if it works for you, then it's real. don't let any yahoos tell you any different.

being poly is sometimes difficult. it requires a lot of time and effort. it's not easy to make a relationship of any kind work, and an open or poly one is no different.

use your gut, use your communication, and make your relationship, however you choose to work it, yours. if it makes you happy, and everyone else is happy too, then honey. you're better than a lot of folks.

~michelle

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 32

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/29/2006 10:04:08 AM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

The reason I have problems with emotionally unavailable doms is my need for aftercare. I would resent a dom who wouldn't provide aftercare following punishment. This resentment would hinder my ability to serve him. When I do get aftercare, I become attached to the dom and end up suffering from 1 sided love. That's why I need to combine the 2.

(in reply to michellerose)

Post #: 33

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/29/2006 10:30:30 AM

FelinePersuasion

Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline

shareing yourself between a dom and a boyfriend, does not make the dom emotionally unavailible. I will say I won't ever do the non kinky boyfriend thing again, but it's not cause the doms unavailible, it's because non kinky don't fill ANY of my needs any more.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 34

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/29/2006 10:50:46 AM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

I was involved with a switch that was very affectionate and great at aftercare, but refused to take me on a date. I really wanted to date, so I tried to find a boyfriend and keep him on the side. It didn't work. I was unable to develop any feelings for potential boyfriends because of my strong feelings for the switch. It was a disaster. For me, having 2 men just doesn't work.

(in reply to FelinePersuasion)

Post #: 35

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/29/2006 4:43:59 PM

kittten4u

Posts: 2
Joined: 11/19/2006
Status: offline

well i have a master , and bf and a husband, is this possible? the master and husband know about all 3 of them, bf only knows about husband, and suspects i have a bf

(in reply to sirssatin)

Post #: 36

RE: Master and a BF? - 11/30/2006 3:05:53 PM

gemy

Posts: 107
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

jenna, not to change the subject, but nice pic *smile

(in reply to Daddysgirljenna)

Post #: 37

RE: Master and a BF? - 12/11/2006 8:29:34 PM

Belittled

Posts: 40
Joined: 5/26/2006
Status: offline

The idea that it's difficult to find a Dominant who can love and act like a boyfriend or partner is news to me.

(in reply to gemy)

Post #: 38

RE: Master and a BF? - 12/11/2006 8:42:19 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

Do whatever makes you happy. If this situation is making you happy and everyone is content, loved and cherished, why do you care what anyone thinks? If it isn't making you happy or not everyone is happy with it, then you need to shift your priorities somewhere.

I don't know if I could "supress" my submissive urges for my current dominant if he hadn't decided to become my dominant. I don't know what would happen but I know that because I love him, I would try.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Belittled)

Post #: 39

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