Learning the difference

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Learning the difference - 2/13/2005 10:27:14 AM

angelbear

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/19/2005
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Good morning All that visit here. i come as a submissive that is presently preparing to cross over to slave. i am 52 years old and for most of my life have hidden my submissiveness. I have been raised by a very strong woman who does not believe in losing one's identity to a Male or to anyone else. This has been a inward struggle all of my life since it is my natural pull to believe the opposite. The struggle has put me in many abusive relationships until i found the lifestyle 6 years ago. Trust is a big issue in my life.

My question here is how does a highly intelligent submissive who has fought to be strong and independent while raising her children learn to trust and let go enough to experience the next phase of her growth and training. my Master has bought us a home here and will be moving here next month. He has told me i will be quitting my job and moving in with Him. i believe that i want to go here, it excites me but it scares me to death as well.

Any feedback would be appreciated Sirs.

submissively
angel

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RE: Learning the difference - 2/13/2005 1:32:00 PM

FangsNfeet

Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline

You're headed into the unknown. I predict you are going to live the rest of your life happily tied up ever after. Exciting and scary at the same time. That's why you're thrilled about it. I'm sure your Master feels the same way. Go ahead and move in. That's 50 years of "OH MY!" versus 50 years of "Yeah things are swell and I'm boringly great."

I don't know your entire past with relationships but I think this is one that's going to work out great for you.

_____________________________

I'm Godzilla and you're Japan

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RE: Learning the difference - 2/13/2005 1:35:00 PM

angelbear

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/19/2005
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THank You Sir

i needed that...

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RE: Learning the difference - 2/13/2005 2:47:48 PM

BeachMystress

Posts: 2156
Joined: 4/3/2004
From: Naples Island- Long Beach CA - Southern California
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Keep in mind that being a sub doesn't stop you from being a strong woman in your own right. Being a slave will not negate who you are. It means your focus is changing. You've always worked in the past, right? Well, now you're going to be working for someone who actually cares about you. What a wonderful, yet scary experience.

Part of your problem is going to be the fact that you will be at work 24/7. Your Boss gets to tell you when to go to bed, when to have dinner ready, when to get on your knees and service. It is a much more complete job than you've ever had. We all need downtime. It might be a good idea if one or two days a week were declared your day off for the first month or so till you settle into your role. As time passes and you become your role, you'll find that you don't need time off as much.

I feel it actually takes a lot of strength of character to be a sub/slave. You actually have to deal with submerging your own ego and doing things that you don't want, and worse, at times you don't feel like doing them. If you ask me, that takes one hell of a strong, independent person who is secure in themselves and has nothing to prove to manage that feat.

Good luck. Enjoy your anticipation fear/thrill. It is normal and fun in it's own way. I bet you feel very alive right now, don't you. *smiles*

_____________________________

Beach Mystress
*Do not threaten the weak. Intimidate the strong. ~ Stevenson*
http://beachmystress.jigsy.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/beachmystress/

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RE: Learning the difference - 2/13/2005 2:57:11 PM

angelbear

Posts: 14
Joined: 1/19/2005
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Yes Mam! grins mischievously....Alive, on edge, and more complete than i have ever felt. The things that scare me the most are the requests that go against the grain of my upbringing. i was going through a "toy" store the other night with my Master on the phone. When He asked me to ask the sales people if they would like to see my recent nipple piercings, my heart did a flip flop. Fear completly took over. i did as instructed but it made me wonder how far He might push it and if i would or could hold up. Mid Western upbringing tells never to public embarass yourself.

Course that fear being arrested for indecent exposure ....lol thats there too.

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RE: Learning the difference - 2/13/2005 5:36:33 PM

panthergoddess

Posts: 93
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: Bessemer City, NC USA
Status: offline

*musing*....Interesting how we all become slaves to our past and fear the release from the common dominance of our social structure.

Just as your mother raised you to be a strong independant woman so shall your Master guide you to be more free in your strength by helping to break down those prior (an oft times) unneccessary boundries and restrictions.

I wish you well in your continued journey.

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"No good deed goes unpunished."

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RE: Learning the difference - 2/21/2005 7:43:47 AM

MistressDREAD

Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Excuse My post in the Masters section~

quote:

Mid Western upbringing tells never to public embarass yourself

Wonderful upbringing
for some...........
Not you.
Welcome to the world of
Alternate Living where
everything deemed wrong
is RIGHT!! JMPO~

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RE: Learning the difference - 2/21/2005 8:41:21 AM

Gemeni

Posts: 255
Joined: 2/19/2005
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Angel....

You shouldn't be viewing this as losing your identity to a Master,but as finding it.

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RE: Learning the difference - 2/21/2005 9:41:33 AM

krikket

Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline

Hi.. i'm not a Dom/me so i hope you won't mind me answering. (i'm not even sure i'm supposed to here, but figured the mods would make this post go poof if i'm not..lol) Your post touched a spot in me, and i thought it might help, in some small way, what i went through when i was in your situation.

i have always been a strong woman, out of nurturing and environment (26.5 years of marriage to a man who didn't know what responsibility meant). It took many years of even recognizing that i was a sub, much less a slave. It was the scariest and most glorious time of my life, and i thank God everyday for those 5 years he gave me with my Master. i never felt stronger, more beautiful, more loved and cared for than i did as his slave.

It wasn't an easy path for me to walk, but walk it hand in hand with him i did. While he owned me heart, body and soul, he also encouraged me to be every bit the woman he saw inside me. It took hours, days, weeks, months, et al, of communicating, of listening, and most important of all believing -- in him and myself. While i didn't have to give up my job (there were a number of side issues i won't go into here), he was still my world, and i gave him everything.

i wish you lots of beautiful days ahead, along with the ability to see all that you're gaining. Good luck

jimini

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"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to bloom."

by A. Nin

When your heart speaks take good notes.

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