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expanding boundaries - 11/27/2006 10:19:13 AM

subsa

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Joined: 8/3/2006
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Master and i have been 'out' in the public scene for a while now. i'm loving every minute of it! it has really expanded our play reportoire. things that i thought i had no interest in or things that i thought were are hard limit have become much more interesting (or not a hard limit anymore) to me. actually seeing something being done rather than only relying on descriptions (either words or pictures) has made me change my perceptions. so, i'm curious if others have experienced this but mostly i thought i would share this benefit that i have found in public play to try and encourage others to get involved in their kinky community.

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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/27/2006 10:28:18 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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Oh it's a common joy us "old timers" have when we hear a newbie going "No way would I ever do that!" only to find them a few months later totally blissing out on that exact thing. To watch them overcome their own fears with education and experience and allow themselves to ENJOY, not fear.

And their virgin delight at trying a new experience to them that's old hat to us- keeps me from getting more jaded than I am and new energy to feed on.

On the other hand, newbies can become addicted to this stage and constantly seek limits as a game or a way to get their high. They can very often become frustrated because the more they experience, the harder it becomes to "reach the next high." They lose sight of simply enjoying where they are and allowing the "limits pushing" to come organically.

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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/27/2006 12:20:44 PM

AquaticSub

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*nod* I never ever thought I would enjoy humilation play. Now I beg for him to call me his little whore.

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It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/27/2006 12:32:02 PM

ownedjulia

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with the right Master anything is possible. its amazing just how much they can push us to go that little be further and in turn will increase our on confidence in our abilities. it's quite wonderful.

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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/27/2006 12:59:35 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
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I found myself doing more and more over the years, things I would never have considered when I started out initially.
Some because they grew on me, some because my dislike turned to intense like and some just because making the Dom happy was worth far more than any inhibitions I had.

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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/27/2006 3:13:46 PM

MasterFireMaam

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Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Oh it's a common joy us "old timers" have when we hear a newbie going "No way would I ever do that!" only to find them a few months later totally blissing out on that exact thing. To watch them overcome their own fears with education and experience and allow themselves to ENJOY, not fear.

Hell, it's common for us old-timers (relatively) to find that a limit or two of our own gets melted away! I never thought I'd be interested in needle play when I saw it. Actually, what I went to see was a workshop on cutting. It just happened that the cutting was decorated with needles. Not only did it my interest in doing it get roused, my interest in recieving it was later roused when I went to a ritual space workshop and we did a ritual piercing.

Master Fire

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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/29/2006 9:44:51 AM

littleone35

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I don't know about that for me my hard limits are pretty much set in stone. They are things that i am sure i would not enjoy which is why they are hard limits.

Matt's littleone

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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/29/2006 5:55:46 PM

Daddysredhead

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Daddy and I check-in on our (mainly my) continuing growth and development of our relationship from time to time. I still keep the original "BDSM checklist" that I did and shared with Him. I remember showing Him the pages of the list and watching as He looked over the things I marked "Love It," "Like It," "Maybe If Imp't. to Dom," "Don't Like It," and "No Way." I can't drive by the local library where we sat in a small glass meeting room doing this, (as other people were reading, doing homework, working on group school/college projects), without giggling to myself. Here all this scholastic activity was going on, and here we sat, two grown adults, discussing whether or not I thought I would ever be able to eroticize the pain of being caned or whether enemas served as punishment.

I guess I'm just twisted and get very "ticklish" over those memories.

I also like looking back at the list to see how I have progressed. There are things that Daddy never pushed with me... things that were hard and fast limits... things that as I grew to trust Him with my body in ways that I never imagined... I asked Him to try with me. This lets me know just where we are and how far we've come. I think it's a good gauge for Daddy, too, it shows Him that He has brought me out of my shell and into a new place of exploration. He has made this a very slow process for me as I have never been in a D/s relationship before and He wants this to be an enjoyable adventure for me, which, in turn, makes me a better slave for Him - one who is eager to please and receive all He has to give me.

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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/29/2006 6:40:01 PM

Smythe

Posts: 369
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Hell, it's common for us old-timers (relatively) to find that a limit or two of our own gets melted away! I never thought I'd be interested in needle play when I saw it. Actually, what I went to see was a workshop on cutting. It just happened that the cutting was decorated with needles. Not only did it my interest in doing it get roused, my interest in recieving it was later roused when I went to a ritual space workshop and we did a ritual piercing.

Master Fire

I agree with this heartily, MFM. Learning about new things that we like doesn't only go in one direction, i.e. a Dominant pushing a sub. I have been turned on to all kinds of things that I didn't know I liked by listening to my submissive partners, trying something new and making it my own.

Smythe

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Do not consider painful what is good for you.
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RE: expanding boundaries - 11/29/2006 6:54:03 PM

goodpet

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quote:

ORIGINAL: subsa
mostly i thought i would share this benefit that i have found in public play to try and encourage others to get involved in their kinky community.

So many have 1000 reasons why they "can't" go to any meetings or attend an event or munch. yes there are times it is best to not be active in the public scene, and i am not trying to start a list of replys with all the "why i can't go" - it is a decision you make.

99% of us out here who attend public meetings and events have all the same concerns and needs for privacy, jobs, family. But the difference is that those of us who are out here, while we use common sense and are careful, we also know the benefits of being with other like minded folks is of high importance. As you have pointed out, it is educational and can help expand your knowledge about different aspects of the lifestyle.

i would encourage everyone to find a group, munch, event, anything to connect face to face with others. go out of your area if you need to feel more comfortable.

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