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Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:36:51 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

As a curiosity, so many times, someone comes out here, just joined, first post, half the time not one whit of a profile, and they are in gobs of drama and trouble:

Help!!! What to Do!!!! Is this Common????

even worse sometimes screaming caps.

But the bottom line is the gist of the post is I am in a jam, bottom line, two sentences or less, or a complete compendium at the other end, what do I do?

what allegiance or advise is owed somebody like that, are they man overboard?

Let us pretend they are not all goofers, and some are awash in problems.........

Truth is, in the time I been here, I have to see one of these people stick around, half of them get nasty when you give 'em the tough love...........
I mean do you feel we owe these people? Am I too jaded?
If they don't think enough to come to us and join in why bother?
Why is it only when it is Come to Jesus?

Curious in whatever others think.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

Post #: 1

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:41:38 PM

Mikal

Posts: 3673
Status: offline

I try not to think. It's hard on the brain.

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(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 2

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:42:29 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

I have to admit it is irritating when it seems the only time people want to speak to you is when they are in a jam..

(in reply to Mikal)

Post #: 3

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:42:55 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

Nothing is owed, but some give anyway by their own choice for whatever reasons they have to do so. Indeed, it's why many of us are here in the first place, to share what we've experienced, to help if and when we can, hopefully to have our own eyes and minds opened on occasion.

If some of them get nasty or they don't stick around, it doesn't really matter, because it really doesn't have anything to do with them but with the internal motivations we have. If people are giving out advice, mentoring or what have you to get some kind of pay back, they're in the wrong line of work. ::chuckles:: It's paying it forward that floats my boat these days.

Oh, actually, there is one thing owed..

You still owe me a cup of coffee. ;)

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 11/27/2006 1:43:37 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 4

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:45:03 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

I find them entertaining to throw shit at.

Yours,

benji

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Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Mikal)

Post #: 5

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:45:49 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

It's cyber culture. Some of them DO calm down and stick around.

They rush into this thinking no one could POSSIBLY be a FREAKY as they are and not only AMAZED by how special they are, but please tell them not THAT special?

They just want reassurance and answers. It's why so many of them run headlong into the arms of a dork- they just need their fix.

When you don't just give them cliche answers or glossy prints of guidelines, then they get confused, worried, unsure...and usually at the person not delivering what they want.

Such is life. I'll keep being a shark.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 6

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:46:35 PM

zbabe888

Posts: 17
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

Hey the "scene" we are in lends itself to the dramatic. When you are faced with some life altering situation that goes far beyond your comprehension (I am 15 years RT and have recently been blown away by a situation myself) then you suddenly find a PLACE where not only can you vent your panic but have people who could possibly understand and help.

I am personally not into big games, drama, or the like - but I do remember the overwhelming feelings I had when first discovering my path and also how desperate I felt when things went awry with my first Dom.

So I guess it comes with the territory (I love your posts and yes, you are a little jadded!) but for every 5 that get mad at your advice there is for sure 1 that "hears" something and takes a path they wouldn't have otherwise found without the support of the community here. If nothing else it makes us all think!

_____________________________

Don't forget to smile while you're chasing down your dream!

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 7

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:50:22 PM

losttreasure

Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

...If they don't think enough to come to us and join in why bother?
Why is it only when it is Come to Jesus?

Curious in whatever others think.

Ron

I don't disagree with your assessment, but sometimes people don't look for answers until they need them. Think about it... if it happens quite often, then it can't be all that uncommon now, could it?

*shrugs* Doesn't make it right; but beating folks about the ears for following in the footsteps of many others seems a bit unhelpful.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 8

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:50:29 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

I agree with LA's thoughts about needing reassurance. Sometimes, people get that and they stay around. Or they don't and still stay around, posting more dramatic questions and situations because they don't want to follow the very good advice most of the regulars here are willing to give. With sarcasm from the usual suspects, of course.

But is it just me or do a LOT of people want simple rules and guidelines spouted at them for everything? Not merely talking in regards to WIITWD either.

Edit- P.S. LA, can I friend you on LJ?

< Message edited by CalliopePurple -- 11/27/2006 1:51:20 PM >

_____________________________

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hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 9

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:53:24 PM

MisPandora

Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline

And why would you come to a bunch of strangers? I don't get that.

_____________________________

Pandora
Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 10

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:54:56 PM

SexyRed

Posts: 529
Joined: 8/19/2004
Status: offline

It is a cry for attention.

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(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 11

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 1:58:26 PM

Archer

Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline

Personall I feel I owe them exactly what I was given freelywhen I was a newbie.
A little tough love an honest answer and then evaluated to see if I was wrth further effort.
It's the basic pay it forward idea.

Graned sometimes we end up investing effort in those who a not worth it, but soeone took the chance on usand we I'm sure didn't seem worth it to some who were around when we showed up as newbies.

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 12

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 2:05:33 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple
Edit- P.S. LA, can I friend you on LJ?

Sure, I've always felt the idea that you need to LET someone add you is silly! If I didn't want people to look, I wouldn't put it out there!

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Post #: 13

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 2:11:49 PM

raiken

Posts: 868
Joined: 10/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MisPandora

And why would you come to a bunch of strangers? I don't get that.

Because they may be seeking an objective view point that those who are close to the situation or issue may not have.

Because they feel safe behind the keyboard to aire their laundry and also to ask for help. If they are cyber attacked, judged criticized or put down, no biggie, they don't have to look at us daily, they just make up a new handle once they are over the issue.

Because some folks really DO need help and have no where to turn but to online communities.

Because strangers have the potential to become friends.

Just some things off the top. ~grin

(in reply to MisPandora)

Post #: 14

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 2:32:05 PM

slaveMastery

Posts: 77
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

Realizing that with a mere handful of posts and less than 30 days of membership, I have that new car smell to me that Ron is referring to with his post. But that new smell is only new to this online community and I will hence pipe in on this one.

Yes, there are some drama queen and prince posts on these forums, seeking feedback, help or assistance to topics that are of huge ramifications and/or importance in their lives and at their particular stage in finding themselves in BDSM. Instead of searching existing threads and posts for the same issues that were asked (and answered!) before, they just go out and repost questions like a bad episode of Groundhog Day.

Some of them have the endearing recurrence and sound of a swarm of mosquitos while at a lake fishing - no matter how many you have or watched getting swatted, it seems that the very same one with the very same question pops up 5 minutes later.

But be mindful of this - where should they turn if not to their "elders" in a public forum? Who better to answer their questions than those who have lived that same problem 5, 10, 30 years ago and have since lectured on it 10 times per month?

Are you expected/required/morally obligated to answer them? Do you have to read them? In both instances - certainly not! You can just decide to either ignore them (as you will most likely be able to tell within the first 10 words where that particular post is going) - or you can continue to generously provide your insights, offer help and dish out your heaping helpings of tough love....surely (hopefully!), the feedback will not fall upon deaf ears.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 15

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 2:37:30 PM

Morrigel

Posts: 492
Joined: 10/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
I mean do you feel we owe these people? Am I too jaded?

I don't think we owe them anything, but if you got two cents and feel like chipping it in, why not? I assume you post here because you enjoy expressing yourself, at least a little.

--M

P.S. Maybe you're too jaded, but green is a nice color on some people.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 16

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 2:51:27 PM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

what allegiance or advise is owed somebody like that, are they man overboard?

Dunno Ron, but I figure we can throw them advice like a life preserver and they either grasp it or they don't. If we see bubbles...oh well. On the flip side, if they actually save themselves and get in the boat, we can pick on them for a lot longer...gives Benji something to do, anyway...lol.

_____________________________

Formal symbolic representation of qualitative entities is doomed to its rightful place of minor significance in a world where flowers and beautiful women abound.
-Albert Einstein

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 17

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 2:51:51 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Ron, I love it when I see posts from noobies. Sometimes I can convince one or two of them to suck my cock.

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 18

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 3:02:03 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Ron, I love it when I see posts from noobies. Sometimes I can convince one or two of them to suck my cock.

Crikey. I only joined in June this year.

Looks like I had a lucky escape there.

And the inevitable follow up; who here didnt escape? Show of hands?

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 19

RE: Just Joined, First Post, Got a Dramatic Prob - 11/27/2006 3:21:09 PM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Ron, I love it when I see posts from noobies. Sometimes I can convince one or two of them to suck my cock.

It must be your avatar.
And what about the old hags that have been hanging here for over a year?

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 20

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