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JerseyKrissi72 -> Letters TO and From Santa (11/28/2006 8:29:27 AM)
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Letters To and From Santa
Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space rainjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yeer.
Yer frend,
BiLLy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawn care. How about I send you a sodding book so you can learn to read and write? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!
Santa
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love,
Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mummy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love,
Teddy
Dear Teddy,
What, you think your dad's going to quit banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane, son? Let me get you some nice Lego instead.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love,
Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the squirts and carrots make the deer fart in my face. You want to kiss my ass? Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making Toys?
Your friend,
Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend most my time squeezing cocktail waitresses' asses, and losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love,
Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy
Timmy,
That whiny begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap don't work up here. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
Love,
Marky
Mark,
First-ly, stop calling yourself "Mark-y." That's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
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