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A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 4:59:19 PM   
damia


Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		i got this message today from some guy who's profile says dominant couple, and i'm assuming he is 'dominant'. i don't know; i don't know this person.

<DELETED>

So, i was stupid and replied to him, hoping he had just worded it wrong and would be willing to explain his message that came out of the blue from a stranger:
me: >>May i ask what brought about this lecture? i believe i know the difference between a bedroom submissive and a lifestyle submissive. And i don't appreciate a stranger telling me that i need to learn the difference. Please explain Your message, or stop telling other people's slaves what to do.

damia the Kat<<

He replied with:

<DELETED>

Am i really just a little kid playing big kid games? No, i don't live with my Master. He lives in the barracks at Fort Bragg..obviously i can't live with Him. Only way out of that would be to marry Him and get off-base housing...i'm not marrying Him just to live with Him. Yes, i have only been my Master's slave for two months. i knew Him before that, and got to know Him before committing to it, and have been in the lifestyle since i was 18, when my first Master introduced me to it.

But i'm also confused. No such thing as a bedroom submissive? That's not what i've heard...is a bedroom submissive just a bottom, or is there a difference? And how does a submissive become trained as a slave if she doesn't submit to her Master as His slave? Because no, i am not 'trained' as a slave...i have had a Master before, but i still consider myself new.  And this bit about tattooing to be a slave....i don't get it? i thought that was an option only some did, and that most used only a collar.

i guess i just don't get it, and His comments really hit me hard as i am still a bit unsure about the relationship with Master (it being new...) Is there any truth in this guy's messages, or am i being stupid to let it get to me?

Confused and a bit upset,
damia the Kat

[Mod Note:  please don't paste received emails into forum posts.]

< Message edited by ModeratorEleven -- 11/29/2006 9:45:47 PM >
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 5:09:37 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Hi Damia

Terminology is something regularly debated on here, who is what, is something debated regularly on here. In the end, although we could all probably agree on some things, other things will always be open to interpretation  - plus there's a lot of crossover between terms and people and the people using the terms etc! Yes, he's making a distinction between bd, sm and d/s which many would agree with, but others might not.

IMO, the terms are there for us to use, not for the terms to use us. Just do what you feel is right, and dont worry about the terminology as in the end its unlikely there will ever be total and complete discernment between them that everyone will agree with.

And as for the "little kid playing big kid games" thing directed at you. IMO, its more a case of him being a little jerk playing at being a big jerk. So there!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to damia)
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 5:10:06 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		I'd have to guess someone pissed in this guy's Wheaties this morning and while he was steaming over with some rage he ran across your profile and took offence.  He then picked you to vent on.  Course I dont know shit.  Maybe there is a difference in the defination, but it sure appears common place for the two terms to inter-exchange.  I'd say take it with a grain of salt.
I was once told it was only children take pictures of themselves, it ate at me for maybe half a day.... Hell with that shit, I have fun with it, You should have fun too.  F.. Him and the pony he wishes he rode in on!



_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to damia)
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 5:10:52 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		I always figured BDSM could be split at least 3 ways and was a catch-all umbrella

BD
DS
SM

I think that should cover most flavours and people, of course I am sure there are excpetions.

I have known "bedroom submissives" that would not consider any form of bdsm, they just simply preffered not to take the lead in sexual encounters and in all other ways were in complete control of their own lives

The rest of that is just so laughable I really cant comment, I would suggest that this was an exchange between somebody playing games, and somebody exploring their own personality. Bare in mind please that its often games that come with over complex rules, I never could figure out many card games :)

Personally I think the person replying to the OP was talking out the wrong hole!

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Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to damia)
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 5:14:14 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Dude, you had it right the first time- he was someone to ignore.

He was only trying to goad you into listening and get you to give him power over you.  Thus far, he's getting exactly what he wants.

Now, there is something for you to look at in terms of how was someone like him able to cause such distress and work on strengthening that up.  But really, do you need us to tell you what's going on here?

Oh and for me bdsm and ds are different and not inclusive, but that's really not relevant.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to sleazy)
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 5:14:47 PM   
slavemaia


Posts: 395
Joined: 8/26/2006
Status: offline 		OY!

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She reaches up, not for the apple, but for what causes it to be there.
slave to love - - Chairman's maia

(in reply to damia)
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 5:24:52 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline 		LA, I appreciate the splitting of ds in its own right, I just feel kinda huggy and inclusive tonight and feel like not splitting off any one group  I feel anyone can indulge in bd, ds, sm, bds, dsm, or bdsm as they see fit in their own way, something the OPs antagonist seems unable to do.

Its all very much horses for courses, everybody has their own unique interpretations of everything, and in this instance I just happen to disagree with the person who picked on the OP, so whilst I wont spilt off any groups, I will take issue with folks who claim their flavour is the only twue favour :) After all, for me my flavour is the right one, I just wont ram it down anyone else's throat unless they decide to let me

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Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 5:25:12 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		How have the two of you decided to do things? This is the only question that really matters.

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 7:11:25 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline
quote:

or am i being stupid to let it get to me?

yup, that's it. But it could be worse -- all the stuff he said could make sense to you, and then you'd be as stupid as him.


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(in reply to damia)
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 7:15:14 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline 		Well I got about half way through what you posted of his response and thought - delete and block - lol. (Er him that is not u - better clarify lol)
There are so many different views different people hold about the lifestyle. I'm happy to listen openly to what others opinions are, but not if they were calling me a child etc.
No bedroom submissive, not a slave? I think whatever you believe you are, in your interpretation, is who you are. I call myself Keiths Slave, when in reality I am probably more a submissive only. But I use the term slave because I like it and well to be frank I have that Roman slave fantasy at the back of my mind - lol. Just because you dont fit into someone elses ideal or definition of a slave etc doesnt mean you are wrong - or they are wrong either - just both have different views is all.

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Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to damia)
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 7:59:17 PM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline 		replied off post.. check your email sweetie :)

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 8:19:02 PM   
darksdesire


Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		i agree - someone pissed in his wheaties!  i looked at your profile and there isn't even anything unusual about it, and i can't imagine how he came to all those conclusions in the first place.  Block the guy.  Your submission is unique to you, your relationship is unique to you and your Dom, and it's your path, your interpretation. 

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 9:07:06 PM   
damia


Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		i had "i am relatively new to the bdsm lifestyle, having been introduced when i turned 18." originally, and after writing my reply, i realized that i might have something like there on there, and have since changed it to avoid jerks. What lifestyle? Well, whatever the hell lifestyle i want. Not up for interpretation. i have learned my lesson from this jerk

damia the Kat

(in reply to darksdesire)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 9:09:34 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		He sent this out of the blue? If so, what an unspeakably rude and condescending message.

I'm new at all this myself, so I'll defer to LA and Master Fire, whose posts I always admire for their focus and clarity.

(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 9:09:48 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: damia

i had "i am relatively new to the bdsm lifestyle, having been introduced when i turned 18." originally, and after writing my reply, i realized that i might have something like there on there, and have since changed it to avoid jerks. What lifestyle? Well, whatever the hell lifestyle i want. Not up for interpretation. i have learned my lesson from this jerk

damia the Kat


You've learned and changed the part of yourself that allowed him to upset you to begin with? 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 9:12:11 PM   
damia


Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		i didn't change who i am...just the wording in my profile. Personally, i don't really care about words, and if changing one word in my profile will make people leave me the hell alone, yes, i'll change that one word. It makes no difference to me, because it doesn't change who i am or how i live my life. It's just a word, and means nothing more than what i want it to mean.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 9:30:12 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: damia

i didn't change who i am...just the wording in my profile. Personally, i don't really care about words, and if changing one word in my profile will make people leave me the hell alone, yes, i'll change that one word. It makes no difference to me, because it doesn't change who i am or how i live my life. It's just a word, and means nothing more than what i want it to mean.


Changing a few words in your profile wont necessarily keep the wolves at bay. If people want to find fault they will find it, even where there is no fault to be found. Some people are just idiots and get off complaining and criticising, he may have thought he was helping you, you "poor stupid child"  
As the old saying goes "Sticks and stones........... " You know he is probably reading this thread all a quiver that he is getting so much attention

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to damia)
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RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 9:33:12 PM   
sleazy


Posts: 781
Joined: 11/23/2006
From: UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave
You know he is probably reading this thread all a quiver that he is getting so much attention


Or is he busy muttering to himself how wrong we all are about our opinions and thoughts, and need to see the (his) light

_____________________________

Opinion is packaged by weight not volume, contents may settle during transit. Consult you medical practitioner. Do not attempt to stop moving parts by hand. Ensure all safety shields in place. Open this way up. Do not expose to temperatures exceeding 50C

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/29/2006 9:36:15 PM   
SamKeithsslave


Posts: 322
Joined: 11/7/2006
From: Melbourne, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazy

quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave
You know he is probably reading this thread all a quiver that he is getting so much attention


Or is he busy muttering to himself how wrong we all are about our opinions and thoughts, and need to see the (his) light


I guess I will know when I check my pm inbox? LOL

_____________________________

Happiness does not find us, we must go out and find it for ourselves.

(in reply to sleazy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: A little kid playing big kid games? - 11/30/2006 8:24:09 AM   
spankmepink11


Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

yup, that's it. But it could be worse -- all the stuff he said could make sense to you, and then you'd be as stupid as him.



Sometimes...You just tickle me

(in reply to happypervert)
Profile   Post #: 20
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