MstrssPassion
Posts: 2444
Joined: 1/1/2004 From: West Palm Beach, FL Status: offline
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I saw this mention of how it was sarahjean who initiated the "kink" in the OP as well & was going to reply with that standard reply.... you can't create your perfect dominant. You can't be so submissive that it will cause someone to respond by being very dominant... kinda goes hand in hand with the saying, if I love them enough they will love me back/they will change because I do XYZ. They are either dominant or they aren't.... or of course they may be able to role-play to some degree from time to time yet it is up to the individual to decide their course in this regardless as to the role. We can't make someone be something they are not. He obviously loves you & you love him & it sounds like you just might have a very wonderful life ahead of you. But if you are hear saying that this isn't enough then you really need to address this with him & tell him that you are not satisfied & that your needs aren't being met. If in fact he isn't this Master of your dreams & he is not wired to be such & you decide that you absolutely will not be fulfilled with anything less then you have a real tough decision to make. You might want to make out a list of pros & cons that mark what having this person in your life mean to you & what not having him (meaning, replacing him with this fantasy Master) in your life mean to you. Just keep in mind one thing. This man you care enough about to marry is real, a live flesh & blood man who is a very important person in your life.... is this fantasy image of a Master really worth pursuing at the risk of not finding & losing this real man forever? quote:
ORIGINAL: SirDominic <snip> You mentioned from the start that you were the kinky one, and you had to coax him into it. At first it was novel and new, and he responded, but he is not a natural Dom. In your original post you asked what you could do to pull the Dom out of him. This was the telling point. It showed me he was doing it for the fun, and for you, but it wasn't him. Once he got tired of it he reverted back into who he is. You can't pull the Dom out of someone, either it is there, or it is not. If the Dom is in the man, yeah the daily grind of life will get in the way from time to time, but he will always come back to the kink. This is not your husband. You need to face this reality. You say you love him with all your heart, and you are also in mourning about the loss of that kinky side that is still very important to you years later. You face a very difficult decision. Can you be happy for the rest of your life in that vanilla lifestyle with the man you love? Or is your need for the kinky side of your life the stronger. You must face that decision, because it is verrrry unlikely he will ever regain interest in fetish, because he never really had it in the first place. I do wish you the best and that it works out, whichever way you go. Namaste, Sir Dominic
< Message edited by MstrssPassion -- 5/1/2007 6:28:14 AM >
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MstrssPassion
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