do we need to settle?

do we need to settle? (Full Version)

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sweetpamela -> do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 1:47:34 PM)
i have been released for a bit now (granted seems like forever when in fact only a week or so) but i found myself contacting a Dom from my past. i have somewhat of a connection with Him but its not the intense rush that i have had with Others. so my question is: do i play it safe (since online is the only option for me now) and go with this Dom that i don't really feel a connection with or do i wait until the One that i truly feel a deep connection with comes along? sweetpamela

SlaveAkasha -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 1:51:55 PM)
May I ask why you feel it would be settling to be with this other person? There has to be something that interests you there for you to think of going back to them at all. That exciting thing is fun, but personally I would rather have the love and strength that a loving stable relationship brings than to have a couple weeks of fun and games. Then again, I wouldn't want to be with anyone that felt they were settling by being with me, would you? Best wishes. Kasha

amaidiamond -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 1:52:11 PM)
Why would you want to belong to a man you, in your own words don't really feel a connection with?

littleone35 -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 1:53:07 PM)
I know it is hard to be without when you have had a Master, but i think it is better to wait. After my late Master died i wanted another and i knew what i wanted in a Master and even though it was hard i waited until i found my Master. You should not settle wait until ypu find another you can truley submit too and feel a connection with. If you go with a Master you do not feel a connection to you may just end up un happy. Good luck in youe search. Matt's littleone

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 1:54:35 PM)
You could always ask him directly: Do you think I should wait, heal from my past and then be able to put the energy into an offline relationship that will truly fulfill me, or should I just settle for being with you right now?

MisPandora -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 1:55:00 PM)
It's a week. Why not get yourself together, become whole again after belonging to someone else, and be diligent with a real search for someone worthy of your submission? Going and scratching an itch with an 'ol reliable' is good when necessary, especially when you know it's a safe, fun time, but really....you deserve alot more than settling for someone in the past. Life is far too short.

Hotchick1 -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 2:02:50 PM)
Settling in my opinion is not an option, it devalues you as a sub and it gives the impression that you think you are not worthy of more, it is a honour (to a degree) to have a sub not a right, if you get my drift, lol

akisha -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 2:22:25 PM)
Why would you settle? If you can be happy alone then you can be a stable partner in a relationship. You've been single for a week and wanting to settle for someone you don't really want? What is wrong with being single for a few months or even a year or two? It is not really a big deal. You can learn alot and make some valuable friends in that time. You don't have to have a partner to be complete. Edited because i obviously don't know how to spell yet.

gemy -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 2:44:46 PM)
my divorce was final in august '06, but i left my husband in september of last year and found out there was a word for me and a lifestyle that fit me (uh huh, you guessed it!!! ~~ BDSM) in about november last year. so, it's been a year-ish ~~ i have good friends in the lifestyle, a great roomie who's also a sub, good job, a couple Dom/me(s) with Whom i enjoy a play relationship, yada yada yada ,,,,, and i sometimes get horribly lonely for a Master ~~ but ~~ i wait, i meet, i chat, learn of Doms that interest me ,,,, because i know i'm gonna find the One Who makes my toes curl and my heart and soul yearn to be owned by Him ,,,,, but until that time, no way am i gonna settle ~ and sometimes it's really hard to not say "wow, He's kinda cool, maybe ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,," but then i think to my self ,,,, hold on and WAIT a second. be patient and (quotong LA here) "put the energy into a ... relationship that will truly fulfill me" so, i KNOW it's hard, but don't settle, tis not fair to you, nor to Him

SamKeithsslave -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 3:23:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetpamela so my question is: do i play it safe (since online is the only option for me now) and go with this Dom that i don't really feel a connection with or do i wait until the One that i truly feel a deep connection with comes along? If all you want with this Dom is play, then I would let him know that is all you are expecting and wanting. Its only fair to be honest with him so he doesnt become emotionally involved etc Its not nice to be settled on, I know [:(] and so I would not settle for anyone. It might take a little longer to find the one we want, but its far more rewarding in te long run :-)

BitaTruble -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 4:07:21 PM)
Greetings sweetpamela, I've read your journal entries and I do believe that you have a lot of soul searching to do. On 11/8, your journal reflects you were in the process of being released by your Master but that it was your responsibility to find him another submissive as your own replacement. Later on the same day, you made a journal entry that I interpreted to mean you were, actually, released. From the gist of your entries, it doesn't seem like you had a very long term relationship with your Master .. a few weeks at most I'm guessing. Then on 11/13, your morning entry exhibited some hope that you would be reclaimed by your Master and later that same day, it came to pass that you were reclaimed. On 11/21, your profile reflects that you were again released and that is verified by your entry on 11/25. In that same journal entry you were emphatic that you were 'not' seeking another Master. That was only 5 days ago. You reiterated that in your journal entry of this afternoon. And yet in between that time you've already contacted someone with whom you don't feel an intense connection to question whether or not you should give yourself over to him as his cyber submissive. You are seeking cyber only and given your confusion, the back and forth flip flopping, the speed with which you enter and exit relationships, I'm a bit surprised you would come to the forums with your question at all. You ask if you should settle. Sweetpamela ... well, you do it all the time so it's not a matter if you should, you already 'do' and you do it a lot. You're asking the wrong question in any event. You needn't come here and ask about settling for a velcro collar, but rather, internalize and ask yourself are you living the life you want to live and if not, when do you plan on starting? You're a full grown woman, not a child. Step up to the plate, be the adult you are and take your head out of the clouds. This all appears to be a great game of cyber BDSM for you .. and now you want to draw someone else in who may or may not wish to play those sorts of games. Before you decide if you want to settle on him.. let him know exactly what he's getting because maybe he won't want to settle on you. Celeste

mnottertail -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 4:20:54 PM)
wash your dishes, clean your house, put your life in order, take some time, then when you're ready I will come in and throw my clothes all over and order you around and your life will be unsettled again--- no, you don't have to settle, but how do you know after a week? Is this panic? Curiously (and you were supposed to laugh) Ron

babysburnin -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 4:25:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sweetpamela so my question is: do i play it safe (since online is the only option for me now) and go with this Dom that i don't really feel a connection with or do i wait until the One that i truly feel a deep connection with comes along? sweetpamela Are you saying an online relationship is your only option? If so, in my opinion, pooey. That's not a real relationship, although I do appreciate there can be friendship/communication. If you are so needy/insecure/lonely that you need to go from one relationship to another then you are overdue for a "self-discovery" period with only yourself.

Lillithsdream -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 4:49:54 PM)
Shelf life of a submissive or women....that is the conversation that popped back into my mind when reading this thread. A very experienced Dom told me this the other day...he said" hey kid, your shelf life is getting outdated, your not as marketable as you use to be...there is no other way to put it." Yes, this gentleman Master is in his 60's. Then I read this great thread...started by sweetPam...and hey Pam it was brave of you to put it out there...how you felt...and sometimes I get it...you just need to be told everything is going to be OK,....which it is sweetie~! Keep reading these posts, some great women here...just reading this post for myself was enlightening....even if it's just a way of thinking or remembering something, like self worth, I like what Celeste wrote..just remember that your learning as you go along, it is a journey, not a race. Lil

babysburnin -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 4:56:00 PM)
I'm forty ... and my expiration date in NO WHERE NEAR being reached ... my Dom would back me up on this. It's just awful someone would say that to anyone. Edited to add: I'm more sexy now than ever ...REALLY :)

MasterFireMaam -> RE: do we need to settle? (11/30/2006 6:45:30 PM)
We can't decide this for you. Ask yourself what attention is worth to you. What are you willing to "sell" of yourself in order to get what you want?. If you decide that it worth the level of fulfillment and happiness that you'd recieve, do it. If not, don't. Although, it seems to me that if you have to ask us, you really already know the answer. Master Fire

eyesopened -> RE: do we need to settle? (12/1/2006 2:57:36 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lillithsdream Shelf life of a submissive or women....that is the conversation that popped back into my mind when reading this thread. A very experienced Dom told me this the other day...he said" hey kid, your shelf life is getting outdated, your not as marketable as you use to be...there is no other way to put it." Wow....Does that mean i need to be thrown in the dumpster?? With that logic i suppose i should just settle for anyone who would stoop so low as to have me? i'm still trying to find the positive or supportive aspect of that comment.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: do we need to settle? (12/1/2006 7:36:03 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lillithsdream he said" hey kid, your shelf life is getting outdated, your not as marketable as you use to be...there is no other way to put it." This is his own personal opinion. You don't have to buy into it if you don't wish to. Master Fire

onestandingstill -> RE: do we need to settle? (12/1/2006 7:50:01 AM)
Hi pamela, When I left my Dom it was a minimum of three months before I began to date at all. If you hop from one man's control to another where do you have the time to be happy with yourself before you move into a new relationship? I say figure out the desires of your heart, make your life comfortable to you without a man telling you how to live, then look for a new Master. If you don't enjoy the life you lead on your own two feet you'll have a hard time enjoying one with someone else too. If you take the time to do the internal work and learn to trust and love yourself the next Master you give yourself to will get you and not what's left over from the last relationship. Just my 2cents, suzanne

sweetpamela -> RE: do we need to settle? (12/1/2006 5:25:58 PM)
i want to thank Y/you all for Y/your opinions. i had been with my previous Master for quite some time (not just a few weeks). i am not looking for a velcro collar...i do not take this life as a game. i came here asking for advice and mostly i received it but some just decided to blast me for some reason, but that is your opinion and W/we are all entitled to such. this is ultimately my decision to make and i will decided what is best for me. one thing is for sure...what ever road i decide to take i will tell the One exactly what it is i am looking for and hopefully O/our needs together will be met. again...thank Y/you all for Y/your comments, suggestions, and opinions.

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