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Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/14/2005 2:59:48 PM   
RiotGirl


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< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 10:36:32 PM >
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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/14/2005 3:40:06 PM   
liltxsubby


Posts: 328
Joined: 11/18/2004
From: TX
Status: offline 		Maybe feelings are deeper in a D/s relationship? I feel closer now than i ever did in a vanilla relationship (which included a 5 year marriage). Maybe it's saddening not only to be away from him but also going back to being your vanilla self. Just some thoughts.

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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/14/2005 6:38:01 PM   
MrThorns


Posts: 919
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline 		I think it's a matter of intensity.

Not just the intensity that can come from a good scene, but from the emotional intensity that comes with a D/s relationship. In a vanilla relationship, I had some pretty strong emotions, but nothing even remotely close to how I feel in a healthy D/s relationship. There's an incredible freedom that comes with it. A freedom to be able to finally listen to those Evil little voices in your head...or to be able to give everything of yourself for another.

~Thorns

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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/15/2005 5:03:22 AM   
LadyAngelika


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

In conjuction with my other post about going home. i wonder why as a vanilla and inlove in a vanilla r/s this never occured? Even when i havent scened with Master (though its always 24/7 tpe) i still get all weepy eyed.

Why didnt this happen in the vanilla world? Talking to a vanilla friend now, who has a distance issue with her boyfriend and she doesnt get all weepy. she misses him, yes.. BUT i dont think she cries. i'm sure she thinks i'm nuts as i always the "tough" one.

i suppose the question is:

why isnt it the same in a vanilla relationship?


I've seen many people in vanilla relationships cry over being seperated from the one they love and I've seen many kinky people not cry being seperated from the one they love.

I think as Thorns said, it is a matter of intensity. It is also a matter of the individual involved. It is most importantly, imho, dependant on the level of dependancy.

- LA

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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/15/2005 1:25:10 PM   
EmeraldSlave2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RiotGirl

In conjuction with my other post about going home. i wonder why as a vanilla and inlove in a vanilla r/s this never occured? Even when i havent scened with Master (though its always 24/7 tpe) i still get all weepy eyed.

Why didnt this happen in the vanilla world? Talking to a vanilla friend now, who has a distance issue with her boyfriend and she doesnt get all weepy. she misses him, yes.. BUT i dont think she cries. i'm sure she thinks i'm nuts as i always the "tough" one.

i suppose the question is:

why isnt it the same in a vanilla relationship?

It does happen actually. Vanillas feel sad and lonely when they separate after being together. And after people engage in intense physical activities (what we call a scene), there IS a drop in endorphins and other happy body chemicals in vanillas that leave them feeling empty and sad as well.

Don't go on just one person- we all have different reactions. Sometimes I don't mind saying goodbye or have any drop, sometimes I have lots of it. Depends on the context.

But it definitely still happens in every type of lifestyle.

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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/15/2005 9:42:46 PM   
RiotGirl


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< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 10:36:46 PM >

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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/16/2005 5:45:28 AM   
EmeraldSlave2


Posts: 3645
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		YOU haven't, but YOU are not vanilla are you? So what you feel in vanilla relationships is not the "this is me, this is where I belong" feeling, but something of a disconnect.

For vanilla people, that IS who they are and where they belong. They feel the intensity in their vanilla relationships that we feel in our bdsm relationships.

A vanilla person wouldn't feel the intensity that we feel in bdsm because they aren't oriented to bdsm. It's not any more or less intense as a type of relationship, it's more or less intense because of who WE are as individuals.

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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/16/2005 8:57:19 AM   
RiotGirl


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< Message edited by RiotGirl -- 3/15/2005 10:36:57 PM >

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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/27/2005 2:29:57 PM   
Chilli


Posts: 42
Joined: 2/27/2005
Status: offline 		I have found subdrop to be a physical reaction (as well as emotional) to the sudden huge rushes of enorphines whizzing around in my body. The endorphine rush is brought on for me by physical pain and intense sexual stimulation, and this results in me experiencing a dreamy ethereal state. which is pretty fantastic. Unfortunately there is a payback the next day, which can leave me tearful, clingy and physically unwell. I can liken this to coming down off speed.

I have heard so many people speak of this as a purely emotional response, but for me I know it has a physical root cause.

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RE: Sundrop/topdrop..... Vanilla? - 2/27/2005 5:19:37 PM   
krikket


Posts: 1183
Joined: 11/17/2004
From: Washington, DC Metro Area
Status: offline 		i know when i was first married (very, very nilla, btw) when my then husband would leave i'd cry buckets and buckets when he left, and when he returned home the tears were ones of joy. Even at the end of our marriage, i cried, although that's a completely different story..lol. i'm a crier by nature, so perhaps it's that, or maybe just the sub part of myself that was present even then. But..i still don't think D/s has that much to do with it..at least for myself..

peace ~ joy
jimini

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When your heart speaks take good notes.





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