Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive

Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (Full Version)

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DenimDom -> Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 9:11:23 AM)
I am someone that needs to keep my lifestyle secret because of career issues, but submissives I'm interested are often exhibitionists. How can I reconcile my need for privacy and her need to display herself? Is it even possible? What have some of Y/you done? Thank you in advance, Denim Dom

mnottertail -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 9:22:49 AM)
great!!! Tell them that outside of the home they are kink stupid, end of convo. Ron

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 9:24:42 AM)
I think you can either keep it to random encounters in far away places where no one you know will ever likely see you or just not get involved with an exhibitionist.

Bearlee -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 9:46:12 AM)
Gee, I know several doctors, lawyers, cops who frequent the Dungeons around Colorado. Usually folks use screen names...or first-names-only. During orientation to the Club, folks are clued in to the idea that 'what happens here, stays here'....and cautioned never to launch into activities that happened there even with specific people you might find in the grocery store; ya never know who's 'out'. I don't know anybody who's had a problem. Most people have somebody they're not out to, so people respect other's privacy.

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 10:05:48 AM)
It depends on what is "privacy" to you. Does this mean never doing anything outside the bedroom, even in approprate public? There are groups out there full of people just like you...and probably with some of the same concerns as you. If you can visit these groups and she can be a exhibitionist there, probably to most everyone's entertainment. ;-) If that's not an option...I agree with LA...look for someone who better matches what you need. Master Fire

DenimDom -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 10:29:10 AM)
Thank you very much to everyone who has replied so far. In the interest of clarity, I want to avoid anything that could connect me with the lifestyle publicly. Anything else is fair game. I'm also looking for specific suggestions on what can be done, either with her in public alone or with me. Dungeons are the obvious idea, but other suggestions are welcome too. Thanks again

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 10:33:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DenimDom Thank you very much to everyone who has replied so far. In the interest of clarity, I want to avoid anything that could connect me with the lifestyle publicly. Anything else is fair game. I'm also looking for specific suggestions on what can be done, either with her in public alone or with me. Dungeons are the obvious idea, but other suggestions are welcome too. Thanks again So you've already decided that you can be with and make an exhibitionist happy...but now you're looking for ideas on how you can actually do that?

DenimDom -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 10:41:02 AM)
No I haven't decided that, which is why I'm posting. I came here looking to learn from others more experienced than I - to see what others in similar situations have done. If all I wanted were suggestions, I wouldn't have mentioned a relationship for myself at all. I'm using the information here to help me decide if this is even an option for me. The post is hypothetical. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just want information. Denim Dom

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 10:46:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DenimDom No I haven't decided that, which is why I'm posting. I came here looking to learn from others more experienced than I - to see what others in similar situations have done. If all I wanted were suggestions, I wouldn't have mentioned a relationship for myself at all. I'm using the information here to help me decide if this is even an option for me. The post is hypothetical. I don't mean to offend anyone, I just want information. Denim Dom Well what exactly are you afraid of? What can you exposure be? Can you go to a munch in a social public restaurant and meet with a bunch of kinky people looking like everyone else? Can you go to a dungeon party where there will be a few dozen strangers in kink? Your fear might be irrational, it might be completely justified. It really depends on what you're willing to take a risk on and what will make you happy.

PONYSEEKER -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 10:59:26 AM)
What if you try one of those free online cam sites like www.cobracam.com maybe if you guys do a show or something it will satisfy the subs cravings. You could even set up your own little drool site for next to nothing as long as you have all your paper work in order.

Focus50 -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 12:57:48 PM)
Your freakin' job is the primary consideration for your life's needs and decisions? I don't care what you do, it doesn't pay nearly enough in dollars or prestige! I'd suggest you re-evaluate your priorities because I work to live - and NEVER the other way around! Focus.

Quivver -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 1:20:26 PM)
I think they used to say " dont shit in your own back yard " ... I'd have to suggest it's time for a road trip. Your rung of the food chain ladder is what depends on how far.

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 1:23:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DenimDom . How can I reconcile my need for privacy and her need to display herself? Wear a mask, go to a club, go out of town, obey the laws, don't get arrested. Ross Bon D' Age' : BDSM http://tinyurl.com/ygblqt Designermite : http://tinyurl.com/ueov5 Soul of Motorcycle Art http://tinyurl.com/ybg73a

MasterKalif -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 1:59:46 PM)
DenimDom, I understand your concern, as someone who will enter work again with a prestigious company, I can understand that you can never be too careful. However I think you need to take this into consideration....if say you were doing something public at a dungeon or at a "munch" with like minded kinksters, and there was someone from your office there, its not like he can do anything about it, as he is in the same situation....same as if someone you know saw you on collarme...to which it would indicate he or she signed up, he or she has this lifestyle interest as well and therefore, it would not make sense for him or her to tell the world about it. On another note...I think some nice ways of being able to indulge in the exhibitionist thing is to take weekend trips or day trips to other places, other towns and cities, or somewhere with privacy...and likewise, you can make friends through munches who are in the lifestyle and then you could have your sub indulge in her exhibitionism like that. There are many ways, and it can be done without your other friends, colleagues, family finding out.

DomDog -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 5:36:18 PM)
How much does your sub 'need' to show? I've always had good responses from subtle exhibitionism, like send her shopping with no panties and a short skirt, or an open jacket and a see-thru top. That way she can still 'show' but it is fleeting and can always be explained as a simple "Oops" (see references to Britney Spears, you don't really thnk that was accidental, do you?).

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/1/2006 8:47:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DomDog How much does your sub 'need' to show? I've always had good responses from subtle exhibitionism, like send her shopping with no panties and a short skirt, or an open jacket and a see-thru top. That way she can still 'show' but it is fleeting and can always be explained as a simple "Oops" (see references to Britney Spears, you don't really thnk that was accidental, do you?). As always, depends on the person. I stopped wearing panties and wearing revealing clothes when I was 18...BEFORE I'd heard of "bdsm" That doesn't give me a high, it's just how I feel comfy. If we're talking serious exhibitionism here, we're going to need more consistent, obvious, and relatively safe exposure.

NYMaster101 -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/2/2006 5:46:41 PM)
How about posting her photos on the web and asking for comments?

theRose4U -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/2/2006 6:42:15 PM)
Considering that Los Angeles (center of movie & tv), New York (center of business and finance) and Washington DC (home of issues on a global scale) are some of the most active scenes in the country with TONS of people that likely have more to lose than you. I find it kind of arrogant on your part to believe we're that interested in outing you to anyone. Though Tom Cruise as a daddy dom might explain a few things. Anyway, there are people that play publically all the time with more to lose than most. Their subs manage to behave themselves. If owning an exhibitionist is your thing (you're denying and I'm seeing between the lines) then training is going to be paramount. Obviously overt exposure at dinner with the CEO isn't going to wash but pulling over on the way home, pulling off her dress and making her ride home in undergarments as a reward might. As any companion training as to expectations is your starting point.

Sinergy -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/2/2006 7:04:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U Though Tom Cruise as a daddy dom might explain a few things. Of all the people you would pick as an example of a daddy Dom who was worried about being outed. I forget the name of the comedian who said in his act that his wife just had a child, and wanted to reassure the audience that Tom Cruise was there to eat the afterbirth. Just me, probably wrong, but there you go. Sinergy

theRose4U -> RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive (12/2/2006 7:13:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sinergy quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U Though Tom Cruise as a daddy dom might explain a few things. Of all the people you would pick as an example of a daddy Dom who was worried about being outed. I forget the name of the comedian who said in his act that his wife just had a child, and wanted to reassure the audience that Tom Cruise was there to eat the afterbirth. Just me, probably wrong, but there you go. Sinergy Wrong on entirely too many levels I think[sm=tongue.gif] Frankly it's one of the only reasons I could come up with for why such a sweet young girl would be with the poster child for extraterrestrial wierdos. I keep hoping that E.T. will hurry up and come get him.

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