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RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/2/2006 7:15:03 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Your freakin' job is the primary consideration for your life's needs and decisions?  I don't care what you do, it doesn't pay nearly enough in dollars or prestige!
 
I'd suggest you re-evaluate your priorities because I work to live - and NEVER the other way around!
 
Focus.


~runs around in a Dominant panic screaming~

OH MY GOD, WHAT WILL THEY SAY IF THEY FIND OUT I AM IN TO BDSM AT WORK!

Wait.  Im a longshoreman.

Move along, nothing to see here.

Sinergy

(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/2/2006 9:01:13 PM   
emdoub


Posts: 223
Joined: 10/22/2006
From: Minnenipples, Minnesnowta
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDom

I am someone that needs to keep my lifestyle secret because of career issues, but submissives I'm interested are often exhibitionists. How can I reconcile my need for privacy and her need to display herself? Is it even possible? What have some of Y/you done?

Well, what do you mean by 'exhibitionist'?  Is making them display themselves to you in private going to work for everyone?  If they simply can't be satisfied short of being obviously submissive in a crowd of 'nillas, they're rare - and often, one would think, rude.

I understand the need to keep your lifestyle private - I don't live that way myself, but it's your life, your call - ignore the folks who insist on telling you to do 'issue C' differently just because you asked for advice on 'situation A'.  Deal with that when you *want* advice on whether or not to come out.

If they're not really insisting on shocking the 'nillas with displays of D/s, there are dozens of things you can do that are quite subtle.

Choose their wardrobe on a night that you're taking them out - and make it something that they'd not choose for themselves.  They're being publicly submissive to your wishes, and nobody else will notice. 

If flashing is what they need, make them flash - just because your date forgot her undies in that skirt doesn't make you a prevert. 

If it's a collar that they need to wear in public - nobody says that the collar must be spiked leather.  A good silver or gold serpentine choker fits the bill there - especially with a 'cute' dogtag on it.  After all, BDSM is fashion these days - and can be tastefully done in most price ranges.

If what they need is to show you off to their BDSM buddies - there may be a problem.  One of the 'danger signals' for folks is when the dominant refuses to have anything to do with anyone else in the local scene - it looks like they're hiding because of a bad reputation or something.  If you're willing to meet their BDSM buddies (a few close friends) in private settings, this should be less of an issue for you, and trip their trigger.

With a better explanation of what you mean by 'exhibitionist', some more pointed ideas may/could/should be forthcoming.

Midnight Writer



_____________________________

Benevolent Dictator of TIES - Tremendously Intense Erotic Situations. If you're local to Mpls-St.Paul, MN, you may want to check us out. The web site is at http://www.ties-bdsm.org and the Munches are monthly.

(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/2/2006 9:20:53 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Your freakin' job is the primary consideration for your life's needs and decisions?  I don't care what you do, it doesn't pay nearly enough in dollars or prestige!
 
I'd suggest you re-evaluate your priorities because I work to live - and NEVER the other way around!
 
Focus.


~runs around in a Dominant panic screaming~

OH MY GOD, WHAT WILL THEY SAY IF THEY FIND OUT I AM IN TO BDSM AT WORK!

Wait.  Im a longshoreman.

Move along, nothing to see here.

Sinergy


LMAO my job they'd just nod and go humm that explains a few things. Then they'd go wait...all those times she was being bossy was it because she's the boss or humm maybe that explains the strange dirty feelings I have when I say yes Ma'am..

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/2/2006 9:46:14 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
Video tape sessions, she can wear a hood or mask, take pictures, put them on the web, dress up in costume, take full advantage of Halloween, have her go out by herself and give her different tasks relating to the level of exhibitionism you both desire (at appropriate places, of course), invite some friends over who are kink-minded and have her serve in the nude, put her in various positions where she is splayed open for your enjoyment, have her masturbate for you. That's just off the top of my head.

Get creative! You're only limited by your own imagination.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/3/2006 2:37:40 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy

quote:

ORIGINAL: Focus50

Your freakin' job is the primary consideration for your life's needs and decisions?  I don't care what you do, it doesn't pay nearly enough in dollars or prestige!
 
I'd suggest you re-evaluate your priorities because I work to live - and NEVER the other way around!
 
Focus.


~runs around in a Dominant panic screaming~

OH MY GOD, WHAT WILL THEY SAY IF THEY FIND OUT I AM IN TO BDSM AT WORK!

Wait.  Im a longshoreman.

Move along, nothing to see here.

A job is a job for cryin' out loud but I'll try another tack since not too many here seem to "get" principles.... 
 
To the OP and anyone else who puts their job ahead of their personal life.  Exactly why does anyone you know or work with need to know your personal preferences?  Is BDSM illegal in your country?  Are you ashamed of your particular leanings and desires?  Are they akin to having leprosy even?
 
Now I don't advocate telling all and sundry my personal business!  The only way anyone is gonna discover your needs and choices is if you blab or you come across a familar face at some event or party.  And if you're both there, you both have a common interest and I find it bemusing that everyone here seems to rationalise it as you having "something" on each other like you're both blackmailers or something!  Again, is BDSM illegal in your country -  or only practiced by pariahs?
 
If you feel your personal life is so socially unpalatable as to affect your precious job, you need to fabricate a thorough cover story and feign interest when some drunken nilla workmate boasts about how he got to first base with some cutie in the store room.  I prefer a middle ground.  I don't advertise my personal preferences and I absolutely don't skulk in the shadows hoping no-one will "bust" me!  The prick in the mirror would never stand for it anyway, but that's just me (literally).... 
 
LMFAO, I dunno how some of you sleep at nights!  I mean, what if the boss or federal authorities have bugged your home, too...?
 
Focus. 

(in reply to Sinergy)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/3/2006 3:11:37 AM   
koimizu


Posts: 64
Status: offline
*laughs warmly to the OP*

Sir...i once had a friend come over grinning like a Chesire cat and he quoted my profile on another bdsm site.  At first i was flushed positively marroon with embarassment but as mentioned here, my next words after i thought about it were...

"And what were YOU doing on there looking?!"

Life is life...this Life moreso than most others.  And frankly, any sexual behavior outside of missionary is considered deviant to one degree or another either by archaic state laws, moral teachings or religious views.  You are worried about being fired for moral terpitude (sp?)? 

For all of Your enjoyment of leashing Your little one and leading her in a session...likely a co-worker or supervisor has an intern or administrative assistant under the desk providing additional services with unlisted skills.

The workplace is a haven of unofficial kink from fast food to power deals.  So no worries.

1. Also....depending on her build...place a remote control vibe inside of her and while at functions or out, randomly give her a treat.
2. Have her insert a butt plug before leaving for the movies or dinner.  Again, one with a remote vibe to give a 'tickle' or without.
3. A thick sweater in winter with nipple clamps and weights beneath the garment.
4. Decorative chastity belt under a cute, short skirt.
5. i rather like the choker idea...*tips head in appreciation* though crotchless panties and comfortable DARK pants for You while at a semi-secluded place in the park where You could enter her from behind and appear to be hugging her or simply showing something to her.  Short thrusts from glut clenches could be wonderful for tapping a g-spot Sir.
6. fingering her in a jacuzzi..the bubbles are a wonderful curtain.
7. Use the power of YOUR Voice as her Dominant.  90% of sex or submission is in the mind. walk with her and whisper everything You could do to her while walking through the mall, forcing her to do while riding down the street, how everyone's eyes would be on her as she lost control until she is a whimpering wreck.  then utilize any of the before mentioned ideas in this thread to reward her for being good and so well behaved for You while fingering her in the back of an elevator occupied by other people.

Safe Journeys.


_____________________________

It Is Not A Question Of Honor, But That Honor Is Questioned


(in reply to Focus50)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/3/2006 3:54:38 AM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline
Will keep an eye on this topic, I'm that exhibitionistically inclined submissive who fell madly in love with a dominant who is very, very shy/afraid/currently unwilling to do anything publically...even average 'vanilla' sex.

My suggestion; life would be much easier if you chose a submissive who shares your feelings about public displays/play, otherwise you will be faced with a large relationship problem.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/3/2006 4:13:29 AM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: koimizu

*laughs warmly to the OP*

Sir...i once had a friend come over grinning like a Chesire cat and he quoted my profile on another bdsm site.  At first i was flushed positively marroon with embarassment but as mentioned here, my next words after i thought about it were...

"And what were YOU doing on there looking?!"

Life is life...this Life moreso than most others.  And frankly, any sexual behavior outside of missionary is considered deviant to one degree or another either by archaic state laws, moral teachings or religious views.  You are worried about being fired for moral terpitude (sp?)? 

For all of Your enjoyment of leashing Your little one and leading her in a session...likely a co-worker or supervisor has an intern or administrative assistant under the desk providing additional services with unlisted skills.

The workplace is a haven of unofficial kink from fast food to power deals.  So no worries.

1. Also....depending on her build...place a remote control vibe inside of her and while at functions or out, randomly give her a treat.
2. Have her insert a butt plug before leaving for the movies or dinner.  Again, one with a remote vibe to give a 'tickle' or without.
3. A thick sweater in winter with nipple clamps and weights beneath the garment.
4. Decorative chastity belt under a cute, short skirt.
5. i rather like the choker idea...*tips head in appreciation* though crotchless panties and comfortable DARK pants for You while at a semi-secluded place in the park where You could enter her from behind and appear to be hugging her or simply showing something to her.  Short thrusts from glut clenches could be wonderful for tapping a g-spot Sir.
6. fingering her in a jacuzzi..the bubbles are a wonderful curtain.
7. Use the power of YOUR Voice as her Dominant.  90% of sex or submission is in the mind. walk with her and whisper everything You could do to her while walking through the mall, forcing her to do while riding down the street, how everyone's eyes would be on her as she lost control until she is a whimpering wreck.  then utilize any of the before mentioned ideas in this thread to reward her for being good and so well behaved for You while fingering her in the back of an elevator occupied by other people.

Safe Journeys.



koimizu - You're officially my new hero, WOW!  We've done a few of these things on the list, the vibrator with a remote, buttplug in public, and we've done various things in cars while driving -- that's as "public" as anything has been thus far, but the one that got me most was the idea of sex in the park, I'd never thought of how to make it discrete, I always pictured "normal" paced thrusts and agreed with him it would be very obvious...you have the perfect solution, and all of your suggestions sound like loads of "safe" fun.

Now, I could try of course to be more creative in thought myself, but aparently when it comes to this particular topic I'm sad to admit I have not done well at all.  I know I for one would be forever grateful if you had any other ideas you'd be willing to share with the needy and uncreative, even if it's things you haven't tried, just whatever springs to mind.

Even if it were in a mail on the other side if you didn't want to know the masses were stealing your brilliant secrets.  Inspirational really...you should have a book out, it would sell out within an hour lol

Thanks a bunch for sharing those

*starts planning next weekends outings*

Whichever partner/s you may have now or will have in the future are incredibly lucky!  If you ever fancy teaching a class on this, let me know lol

(in reply to koimizu)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/3/2006 4:25:56 AM   
timeoutgurlie


Posts: 588
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline
koimizu - I hope you don't mind that I sent you a note on the other side without asking first, if that bothers you, my apollogies, and thanks again for such useful suggestions.  I have a sneaking suspicion many will be thanking you after some public fun, and hopefully we'll have partners who will get more comfortable through these safe yet very fun examples

(in reply to timeoutgurlie)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 12/3/2006 2:51:13 PM   
desoutter


Posts: 91
Joined: 3/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDom

I am someone that needs to keep my lifestyle secret because of career issues, but submissives I'm interested are often exhibitionists. How can I reconcile my need for privacy and her need to display herself? Is it even possible? What have some of Y/you done?

Thank you in advance,

Denim Dom


I wore a mask once that had "let me fix you a place to sit" on the forhead....
go "nacho libre" - tites and all...
I too have a career and the thought does cross my mind from time to time - what if... my boss could see me now - or... my mother... or... ah... who gives a shit... "what are they gonna do... take away my birthday?"

What you do in your off-time to unwind is entirely your business... not theirs...
This lifestyle was once Taboo but I think it has been accepted by the general populous.

#1 - The only way someone would find out is if they were in the club and saw you....
#2 - what are they doing in the club?
#3 - Invite them to the next show.

random thoughts....
desoutter

_____________________________

When the going gets weird... the weird turn pro.

(in reply to DenimDom)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Closet Dom and exhibitionist submissive - 2/17/2007 1:50:54 AM   
koimizu


Posts: 64
Status: offline
fast reply

Hmm...this is a thought that i just passed along to another burgeoning submissive that may be a bit much on the exhibitionism but could lead to fun nonetheless.  A Spanking Skirt with a long men's dress shirt, shelf bra to ensure they are up and nipples exposed to the fabric.  Master could add stick on floor protector pads found in the hardware section of any store like walmart or target or such on the inner lining of teh shirt so there is additional stimulus to the nipples without their perkiness being apparent.  *laughs*

Now, no panties or at least a thong could be allowed while the two of you take a nice walk through the park or local mall.  No one will be the wiser save the two of you.

Hope you have fun with this one as well. 

Safe Journeys!


_____________________________

It Is Not A Question Of Honor, But That Honor Is Questioned


(in reply to desoutter)
Profile   Post #: 31
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