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mp072004 -> RE: Tips 4 Inexperienced Dom? (12/1/2006 7:58:03 PM)
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Rusty, I'm not sure what sort of techniques you want to learn. It's hard for me to recommend resources without knowing what you would like to know.
Do you want techniques for play? Much pain play isn't hard to learn, especially if you have some basic knowledge of how bodies and spaces work. What have you experienced that caused you pain in the real world? Most of that can be the fruit for SM techniques, as long as you avoid or adapt ways of getting hurt that required hospitalization. If you're not very accurate with a particular impact toy, practice by whacking a pillow. Some things are harder to learn. It is generally more effective to receive instruction in rope bondage or the use of urethral sounds in person, for example. This shouldn't be hard for you, as you're fairly close to one of the largest concentrations of BDSM players in the US. There are many topical books that could help you learn a particular tactic--for example, if you wanted to learn about fisting, you should buy or borrow a copy of Addington's A Hand in the Bush.
Do you want to learn to develop a sense of authority, what some call a "command presence?" You will likely find better resources for that by looking for things directed to persuasive public speaking. Material for lawyers might be good, and Toastmasters might help you think more carefully about how to project confidence. Too, look for advice written for teachers on establishing one's authority in the classroom. I imagine other people think about authority, but of what I know, pedagogy and communications are the two fields where it is discussed most systematically.
Monica
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