Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims

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Assclown -> Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/1/2006 9:34:28 PM)
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=419488&in_page_id=1879

juliaoceania -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/1/2006 9:41:15 PM)
Men resent women for the same reasons.. not making enough money. Men also begrudge their housewives things when they make no money. Edited to show the bottom line of the article quote: Lets get something straight here, its not mens earning potential - or lack of that is objectional to the majority of women. We don't mind earning more, or working more hours a week than hubby, what we object to is having to do the lion share of the cleaning, washing and ironing, buy the shopping, put it away, cook and then clean up after the meal, be the primary carer, remember all the birthdays, buy all the Chrimbo pressies etc etc etc. I adore my hubby, I adore my high powered job, I adore my big house in the country but sometimes I resent the fact that no matter how much money I earn I still have to do it all!

Lordandmaster -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/1/2006 10:27:34 PM)
I love the way the British use the word "row." We shall now have a row over our earnings.

meatcleaver -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 2:57:47 AM)
This is not news. Everyone knows that very very few women are willing to carry a male and feel that if anyone should be carried it should be them. My ex worked in the City of London and most of her (highly successful) female colleagues were 40 and still single because they concentrated on their careers and then at the age of 35-40 looked for someone to keep them in the luxury they had become accustomed to. However, their ideal partners, men in their age group who earned enough to satisfy them, looked for women a generation younger than who were less demanding and....well, younger! Tastier, more nubile, better looking etc. People often over estimate their assets in the mating game but the fact is, if a man wants to participate successfully he needs to earn more than the woman. My guess is that the exception proves the rule.

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 3:04:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver Everyone knows that very very few women are willing to carry a male and feel that if anyone should be carried it should be them. Perhaps it is one stereotype that is still perpetuated? Ross Bon D' Age' : BDSM http://tinyurl.com/ygblqt Designermite : http://tinyurl.com/ueov5 Soul of Motorcycle Art http://tinyurl.com/ybg73a

meatcleaver -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 3:19:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Men resent women for the same reasons.. not making enough money. Men also begrudge their housewives things when they make no money. Edited to show the bottom line of the article quote: Lets get something straight here, its not mens earning potential - or lack of that is objectional to the majority of women. We don't mind earning more, or working more hours a week than hubby, what we object to is having to do the lion share of the cleaning, washing and ironing, buy the shopping, put it away, cook and then clean up after the meal, be the primary carer, remember all the birthdays, buy all the Chrimbo pressies etc etc etc. I adore my hubby, I adore my high powered job, I adore my big house in the country but sometimes I resent the fact that no matter how much money I earn I still have to do it all! I used to get this ear ache. My response was YOU wanted the fucking house (instead of a modest apartment), YOU wanted to be a mother, YOU complain about messes that don't even register on my mess scale, YOU worry about how other people see you, YOU worry about missing birthdays, YOU worry about Christmas, YOU complain about my cooking because I prefer to cook Chineese, Indian or Italian and YOU prefer French. I told YOU right at the beginning I will be spending my time in my studio and I'm not a househusband. YOU expect me to change for YOU while it was YOU who wanted THIS lifestyle in the FIRST place! Needless to say we are no longer together. I resent that fact that women want you for yourself at first and when they have got you, they then want you to change and live to their idea of a life style. Then they complain you aren't doing anything or you aren't performing to their expectations. Well they should be fucking grateful you made so many compromises in the first fucking place! Oh, I forgot, they let you have sex. Well thanks but sex isn't that good that you have to spend the rest of your life paying for it!!! You know what.. Its far more fun being single and dating and when the woman is getting serious to tell her straight that under no circumstances are you going to compromise your life style ever again. They don't walk out and slam the door, they accept you as you are and if they have maternal cravings, they move on to some other man who is willing to compromise and remain friends.

NakedGirlScout -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 3:35:46 AM)
Now that is a very scary rant, knowing that any compromises made should be from willingness and not resentment. I hope no babies were born out of that poor compromise that have to feel unwanted by their daddy. P.S. I totally support my dom financially and bought him a house and the lifestyle he wanted and do not resent my decisions.

gypsygrl -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 3:56:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Men resent women for the same reasons.. not making enough money. Men also begrudge their housewives things when they make no money. Edited to show the bottom line of the article quote: Lets get something straight here, its not mens earning potential - or lack of that is objectional to the majority of women. We don't mind earning more, or working more hours a week than hubby, what we object to is having to do the lion share of the cleaning, washing and ironing, buy the shopping, put it away, cook and then clean up after the meal, be the primary carer, remember all the birthdays, buy all the Chrimbo pressies etc etc etc. I adore my hubby, I adore my high powered job, I adore my big house in the country but sometimes I resent the fact that no matter how much money I earn I still have to do it all! I used to get this ear ache. My response was YOU wanted the fucking house (instead of a modest apartment), YOU wanted to be a mother, YOU complain about messes that don't even register on my mess scale, YOU worry about how other people see you, YOU worry about missing birthdays, YOU worry about Christmas, YOU complain about my cooking because I prefer to cook Chineese, Indian or Italian and YOU prefer French. I told YOU right at the beginning I will be spending my time in my studio and I'm not a househusband. YOU expect me to change for YOU while it was YOU who wanted THIS lifestyle in the FIRST place! Needless to say we are no longer together. I resent that fact that women want you for yourself at first and when they have got you, they then want you to change and live to their idea of a life style. Then they complain you aren't doing anything or you aren't performing to their expectations. Well they should be fucking grateful you made so many compromises in the first fucking place! Oh, I forgot, they let you have sex. Well thanks but sex isn't that good that you have to spend the rest of your life paying for it!!! You know what.. Its far more fun being single and dating and when the woman is getting serious to tell her straight that under no circumstances are you going to compromise your life style ever again. They don't walk out and slam the door, they accept you as you are and if they have maternal cravings, they move on to some other man who is willing to compromise and remain friends. Oh dear, some rivers rage wild and deep and can't be crossed. It goes both ways. My ex is a social climber. When he was young, and in grad school with little income, he had no problem having a wife (me) who would do any grunt job to make money, get the bills paid and manage the household. Nor did he have a problem borrowing money from her parents, accepting as a gift a down payment on a house in an upscale neighborhood, and sapping her credit. It worked for him, as there was food on the table, the rent was paid, the house was bought, and he didn't have to worry about laundry or cleaning. As he moved up the carreer ladder, that same raggedy wife who was such an asset when he had nothing increasingly became a liability and a social embarassment so he dumped her and traded up. His new improved wife has excellant earning potential. (he actually said that to me!!!) But, yeah, it is nice to be in a position where I can tell someone to take a hike if they have a problem with my messy, absentminded, minimalist lifestyle.

meatcleaver -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 5:01:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl But, yeah, it is nice to be in a position where I can tell someone to take a hike if they have a problem with my messy, absentminded, minimalist lifestyle. And doesn't that just work fine?[;)]

KatyLied -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 5:17:47 AM)
I think it's best if we agree that marriage isn't always the best answer. [8D]

Quivver -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 5:20:05 AM)
I'm gonna go out on a limb here. My first thought was "of course she's ticked, he's not her intelictual match or better". I mean really, we women can also be visiual creatures and find ourselves drooling over some eye candy. Some of us havent learned to enjoy it and move on! If a woman has any calling to be submissive it's awful hard to submit to stupid. It's ends up nothing more then mental masterbation to keep the facade alive. I'm not saying that chit doesnt happen where lay offs or downsizing effect his earning power as long as it hasnt taken the wind out of his sails with the back slide. Then again I'm only looking at this from the point of the man being Dominant. Just one of those stereotypes that I preference.

caitlyn -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 5:38:43 AM)
You know, if both parties are making all this money, how about: Cleaning - Maid service twice a week Laundry - Laundry service Yard - Kid down the street Auto - AAA Groceries - Order online and pay a small delivery charge Meals - Restaurants Gifts - Gift cards (it's probably what everyone really wants anyway) Kids - Rotate ... once all this is in place, go have sex and STFU.[;)]

LadyJulieAnn -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 6:42:00 AM)
Men who begrudge women for existing tend to post negative articles about women.

Sinergy -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 6:46:44 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania Men resent women for the same reasons.. not making enough money. Men also begrudge their housewives things when they make no money. My ex-wife found a job to work at home which paid about 2/3 what I was making so she could be there for the children. Fast forward 11 years, and my ex-wife had let her job go to almost nothing while my income doubled, and she spent most of her time at home while the house collapsed into mess and chaos (until I hired somebody to clean) having cybersex on the internet with god knows who. But she still had to be home for the kids, according to her. She begrudges me for the reason that after trying to fix our relationship for several years I finally gave up and moved out. Sinergy

meatcleaver -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 6:48:29 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: caitlyn You know, if both parties are making all this money, how about: Cleaning - Maid service twice a week Laundry - Laundry service Yard - Kid down the street Auto - AAA Groceries - Order online and pay a small delivery charge Meals - Restaurants Gifts - Gift cards (it's probably what everyone really wants anyway) Kids - Rotate ... once all this is in place, go have sex and STFU.[;)] That would be great if she didn't keep wanting a bigger fucking house or worse, more houses! By the time I headed for the door we had three of the fuckers and one more on the way, more houses than kids! If you start paying out for services you have to cut back else where and then you get the 'I don't want a strange woman in my house!' Jeez! I'm reliving the nightmare!

meatcleaver -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 6:51:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn Men who begrudge women for existing tend to post negative articles about women. I've got nothing against women existing as long as they have a home to go to of their own and don't expect me to pay for it.

LaTigresse -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 7:03:53 AM)
It's okay meat, just take deeeeep breaths. It's only a bad dream, its all okay..............ohhhhmmmmmm. In this house we keep all money seperate. We sat down and agreed upon who paid what. If one person wants to purchase something that is unnecessary it's up to them to decide if they can afford it. Household chores are shared. If you don't like the doghair dust bunnies wafting under the end table, vaccume. If you don't like dirty dishes, wash them. If your hungry, fix dinner. If someone else does not like how it was done, guess they better do it themself next time. It works fantastic for us. No fighting and everything gets taken care of. Of course we never make issues over stereotypical ideas of men's work versus women's either.

juliaoceania -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 7:28:35 AM)
quote: I used to get this ear ache. My response was YOU wanted the fucking house (instead of a modest apartment), YOU wanted to be a mother, YOU complain about messes that don't even register on my mess scale, YOU worry about how other people see you, YOU worry about missing birthdays, YOU worry about Christmas, YOU complain about my cooking because I prefer to cook Chineese, Indian or Italian and YOU prefer French. I told YOU right at the beginning I will be spending my time in my studio and I'm not a househusband. YOU expect me to change for YOU while it was YOU who wanted THIS lifestyle in the FIRST place! Needless to say we are no longer together My Daddy and I have discussed these concepts... even though I do not make as much money as he does I will be working and going to graduate school. He wants a nice clean home, he wants to eat at home and eat healthy, he and I have talked about kids together, he loves holidays. In essense he does not expect me to do everything, he values the things that need doing. The above sounds like someone who was not truly into another person. We are individuals within a relationship, but in what we create together we meld into one. It becomes "our" stuff, not his or mine. Someone pays your way in this world by devoting more time and energy into the finances their mate should make sure they have it easy when they are not working. I do whatever I can to make Sinergy's life easier when I am around... and not for any other reason than I truly want to. quote: I resent that fact that women want you for yourself at first and when they have got you, they then want you to change and live to their idea of a life style. Then they complain you aren't doing anything or you aren't performing to their expectations. Well they should be fucking grateful you made so many compromises in the first fucking place! Oh, I forgot, they let you have sex. Well thanks but sex isn't that good that you have to spend the rest of your life paying for it!!! I do not know about "letting" have sex, I negotiated my rights away to choose when we have sex, and happily so. Relationships are about compromise and communication all the way through them. You do not work to build a relationship at the beginning and then think "I do not have to work at this anymore, I did it all at the beginning". It is one thing to admit that you do not want to do the work necessary... Go You! ... But it is another thing entirely to think that it is unreasonable for women to continue working on something that you have lost interest in working on. quote: You know what.. Its far more fun being single and dating and when the woman is getting serious to tell her straight that under no circumstances are you going to compromise your life style ever again. They don't walk out and slam the door, they accept you as you are and if they have maternal cravings, they move on to some other man who is willing to compromise and remain friends. For you it is more fun, for other men they long to have a friendly face after the day is over, a loyal person to confide in, a lover, a cook, a friend and companion.. the other is no fun to them.. some men think that your fun is shallow. Some men do not expect something for nothing, and realize anything worth having takes work... and a solid happy relationship is well worth having.

toservez -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 7:59:56 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: meatcleaver This is not news. Everyone knows that very very few women are willing to carry a male and feel that if anyone should be carried it should be them. My ex worked in the City of London and most of her (highly successful) female colleagues were 40 and still single because they concentrated on their careers and then at the age of 35-40 looked for someone to keep them in the luxury they had become accustomed to. However, their ideal partners, men in their age group who earned enough to satisfy them, looked for women a generation younger than who were less demanding and....well, younger! Tastier, more nubile, better looking etc. People often over estimate their assets in the mating game but the fact is, if a man wants to participate successfully he needs to earn more than the woman. My guess is that the exception proves the rule. Better written then anything I could have written. Take a survey of married couples you know and you will find an extreme few that the woman that is a level above their husband or if young working on a career that will be clearly a level or two above their husband. Of course it happens but they are the exception. Americans or maybe western culture wastes a lot of time and emotion trying to get the other sex to become just like them. Men and women are different. A wealthy man will almost always pick the playboy model looking secretary over a lawyer who is older and not as good looking. A woman will almost always pick the lawyer who is balding and overweight over the factory employee who looks like George Clooney. If a person never cleans or cooks dinner regardless of gender then expecting them to change is a waste of energy. Accept, find alternatives or think about how important this is to you in the relationship.

cyberdude611 -> RE: Successful Women Begrudge Husbands Who Earn Less, Study Claims (12/2/2006 8:06:54 AM)
The salary gap between the genders is slowly closing. So this is going to be a bigger issue in the future since women are starting to make just as much money as men. The feminists wanted equality...They are getting it!

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