who to respond to

who to respond to (Full Version)

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bbwdommelilith -> who to respond to (12/1/2006 11:33:29 PM)
I recently put a profile on CM and have been lucky enough to have a lot of responses to my profile. The problem is that I have gotten so many emails that I don't know how to choose which ones to follow up with. I am new to the scene, and I would love to know how others approach this issue. Do you have a set of criteria, or do you just "go with your gut"? I am afraid of missing someone wonderful.

Missokyst -> RE: who to respond to (12/1/2006 11:48:10 PM)
If it were me, I would stick to people who were somewhat local. Not that there aren't many lovely people elsewhere.. but why make things more difficult than they might be?

behindmirrors -> RE: who to respond to (12/1/2006 11:48:43 PM)
I respond to the ones that are polite and respectful first...then I take some time with my wicked streak to deliver messages to the fools who are not...generally in the form of ripping them apart. I find that an initial letter can say a lot about the person, so go with your gut in deciding what you want. Read their profiles...see if it's someone you think you would like. Then, test your hypothesis. Good luck, welcome to the site, and don't rush into things too quickly. behindmirrors.

Assclown -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 12:12:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith I recently put a profile on CM and have been lucky enough to have a lot of responses to my profile. The problem is that I have gotten so many emails that I don't know how to choose which ones to follow up with. I am new to the scene, and I would love to know how others approach this issue. Do you have a set of criteria, or do you just "go with your gut"? I am afraid of missing someone wonderful. Congrats on the replies. Now lets think how many emails would a BHM (over weight man) get on collarme.com? I am thin built by the way but the point is that men still accept a person even if they are over weight and women are less likely to accept a over weight person.

subfever -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 12:24:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Assclown quote: ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith I recently put a profile on CM and have been lucky enough to have a lot of responses to my profile. The problem is that I have gotten so many emails that I don't know how to choose which ones to follow up with. I am new to the scene, and I would love to know how others approach this issue. Do you have a set of criteria, or do you just "go with your gut"? I am afraid of missing someone wonderful. Congrats on the replies. Now lets think how many emails would a BHM (over weight man) get on collarme.com? I am thin built by the way but the point is that men still accept a person even if they are over weight and women are less likely to accept a over weight person. Uh-oh... here we go. This is going to spin into another "fat" thread.

Assclown -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 12:49:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subfever quote: ORIGINAL: Assclown quote: ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith I recently put a profile on CM and have been lucky enough to have a lot of responses to my profile. The problem is that I have gotten so many emails that I don't know how to choose which ones to follow up with. I am new to the scene, and I would love to know how others approach this issue. Do you have a set of criteria, or do you just "go with your gut"? I am afraid of missing someone wonderful. Congrats on the replies. Now lets think how many emails would a BHM (over weight man) get on collarme.com? I am thin built by the way but the point is that men still accept a person even if they are over weight and women are less likely to accept a over weight person. Uh-oh... here we go. This is going to spin into another "fat" thread. Nah I am just pointing out how easy it is being a woman. It must be so easy being a woman in collarme.com or any personals or dating site. Women get anything they want and men are lucky to get just one thing out of the bunch they want.

Fitznicely -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 12:54:20 AM)
Fetches popcorn and tin helmet This thread's a watcher...

sharemeuk -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 1:00:09 AM)
y'know i've always wanted a detached house with land in Scotland and a pair of wolfhounds, yet despite being both female AND on collarme i still haven't got 'what i want' dammit - what am i doing wrong? yours, confused, uk.

Lady Alaria -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 1:10:11 AM)
POSTED: PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS THANK YOU.

sharemeuk -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 1:14:44 AM)
please tell me that's not serious......!

Lady Alaria -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 1:17:34 AM)
Wasn't aimed at you, shareme. Just a quickreply.

sharemeuk -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 1:25:01 AM)
Hoorah!! and, with apologies to the OP for a minor hijacking, I think your gut instinct will serve you pretty well - Also, if you want people to prove they've read your profile then just put, a line or so from the bottom of it 'please start all correspondence "choose whatever you want to be addressed as" ' Which will weed out those that just mass mail Dommes.. Hope you're having fun being innundated ; ) x

Quivver -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 4:03:21 AM)
Lemme try to drag this back on topic. New Sub's on the other side usually generate alot of mail, it's a numbers game. So if your looking for a male Dominant those to choose from will be many and varied. Take it slow and read what they have to say, see how it sits with you. Double back and read their profiles. Make a short one liner to cut and paste into those who you have no interest in, something to the effect of thanks but no thanks. But for the list of keepers to chat with has to be heart felt in your responce. Start a dialog, see what it goes, see how it fits into what you want. Ask alot of questions, and ask first rather then turning their questions back to them, you'll learn more. This really is about what YOU want at this stage, so as long as you know yourself you wont miss a thing! Good Luck

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 4:15:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilithI have gotten so many emails that I don't know how to choose Usually setting up the perameters within your profile and journal helps as you evolve online. you will find however some of high public profile will not post their pics. However be prepare to get the same nature of pic as you posted as per your profile. ;) Take your time. SPANK THE BOOTY http://www.funny-base.com/games/spankthebooty.html Ross Bon D' Age' : BDSM http://tinyurl.com/ygblqt Designermite : http://tinyurl.com/ueov5 Soul of Motorcycle Art http://tinyurl.com/ybg73a

RedSavageSlave -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 4:25:57 AM)
Thank you for sharing the game link...that was great.. I managed to get 297 mph...<grins>

Lashra -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 5:35:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Assclown I am thin built by the way but the point is that men still accept a person even if they are over weight and women are less likely to accept a over weight person. Untrue Assclown. Sweeping generalized statements like this usually are. I happen to love heavier, tall males, that is MY personal preference and I am very female. Perhaps what you may want to say Assclown is that some PEOPLE do not like those that are overweight. PEOPLE includes males as well as females. To the OP, I would stick to the ones nearest you and take your time to become acquainted with them. Never rush into anything, particularly with people online. Alot of them are not what they say they are and many are players. Though I am sure that you know this. If you have a BDSM group near you, you may want to contact them and attend a munch. Its a great way to meet people face-to-face and in My book that is much better way. Good luck, ~Lashra

SamKeithsslave -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 5:45:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith I recently put a profile on CM and have been lucky enough to have a lot of responses to my profile. The problem is that I have gotten so many emails that I don't know how to choose which ones to follow up with. I am new to the scene, and I would love to know how others approach this issue. Do you have a set of criteria, or do you just "go with your gut"? I am afraid of missing someone wonderful. Well I'd be listing my priorities and seeing which of the respondants best fit my criteria. As someone mentioned locality might be something to consider. I favour going with my gut and find that I get a certain tingle when chatting with some men more so than others. I'd carefully check and read their profiles, see which have the most same hard limits as me and the ones that have the same "live for its" also. Whatever you do have fun [:D]

andreaC -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 6:46:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subfever quote: ORIGINAL: Assclown quote: ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith I recently put a profile on CM and have been lucky enough to have a lot of responses to my profile. The problem is that I have gotten so many emails that I don't know how to choose which ones to follow up with. I am new to the scene, and I would love to know how others approach this issue. Do you have a set of criteria, or do you just "go with your gut"? I am afraid of missing someone wonderful. Congrats on the replies. Now lets think how many emails would a BHM (over weight man) get on collarme.com? I am thin built by the way but the point is that men still accept a person even if they are over weight and women are less likely to accept a over weight person. Uh-oh... here we go. This is going to spin into another "fat" thread. If it was me, i would only answer to the ones that are respectful and go with my gut feeling. I will stay away from this "fat" thread issue.........too touchy for me [:)]

Daddysredhead -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 6:54:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Fitznicely Fetches popcorn and tin helmet giggles Is this seat taken? I have my protective tinfoil gear on... [:D]

MysticFireTopaz -> RE: who to respond to (12/2/2006 6:55:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: bbwdommelilith I recently put a profile on CM and have been lucky enough to have a lot of responses to my profile. The problem is that I have gotten so many emails that I don't know how to choose which ones to follow up with. I am new to the scene, and I would love to know how others approach this issue. Do you have a set of criteria, or do you just "go with your gut"? I am afraid of missing someone wonderful. Personally, I would first disqualify any who did not comply with the criteria stated in Your profile. In Your case, You mention that they should include a photo with their response, so I would weed out any who did not. I have found through experience that subs who cannot follow simple instructions in the beginning stages don't improve over time. Second, I personally would give preference to subs in close geographic proximity. While long-distance relationships are certainly doable, they are more complicated. I have had the most success with people who live within 2 hours driving distance of My home, so I strongly prefer them. It is always possible that a sub can relocate to you, but I have found that only a small percentage of the ones who say they will, actually will. I noticed that you did not list "Willing to Relocate" in Your profile, so I am assuming you do not desire to relocate yourself. Next, I would go through the remaining ones and look for responses where the person was respectful and put some time and thought into his reply. You probably got a number of one-liners, obvious form letters, letters from "do-me's" with a laundry list of THEIR fantasies, overtly sexual responses, replies from married men, etc. Personally, I'd pass all of these by. After doing the above, you should have a manageable number of subs to get back with. Best of luck to You! Lady Topaz

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