RE: Financial Domination/slavery

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DiannaVesta -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/16/2006 10:51:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Morrigel I don't find it necessary to demand money from a man to weed out the fakers. Meeting face to face for dinner will usually suffice. --M This is fine but he should bring a gift AND pay for dinner!

DiannaVesta -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/16/2006 11:05:05 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MuscleyandCute quote: ORIGINAL: DiannaVesta BINGO BABY!!! You actually get it! Its about control, trust, whats erotic and more. The idea of it is a major fantasy for some and some try and live the reality as much as possible. Totally Dianna, right on the ball there! I just looked at your niteflirt site (On the proffesional services section of the forums). Good stuff! On the cover page you have a picture with the words 'Female Domination is about love that exists between the femenine and masculine' then looking further I see stuff like ' I EXPECT u 2 PAY ME & CLICK BUY LINKS ChCHING and 'You want to kiss my legs??? No problem, that will be one pair of silk stockings charged to your American Express. CHA CHING! Go ahead kiss my legs baby. I’ll take a dozen pairs! CHA CHING!" Theres also another part where you have bits to pay your mortgage at $999.oo your phone bill at $250.oo etc. Of course anyone who is really stupid will probably think 'Eh? she wants $250 for her phone bill? but I thought that her 'phone bill' would pretty much have been her getting payed to dominate guys over the phone on nite flirt so what kind of 'bill' is a 'phone bill' if your actually making money from being on the phone? Thankfully Dianna you are in the warm welcoming hands of the fetish scene who dont judge you or think your just a total fake like all the blind-sided stupid people out of the scene would. It is obviously too complicated for outsiders to recognise the complexicity and that the statement of yours: 'Female Domination is about love that exists between femenine and masculine' is a completely honest genuine statement within a realm that the outsider moron will just never comprehend. I’m confused, really. Maybe I’m missing something or are you trying to be sarcastic? If that’s was a genuine compliment, thank you. If the ladder then … well I won’t use that language here. Least not today! That is one of my fantasy listings and as a matter fact I DO understand the financial fetish dynamic quite well. Do I make it work for me???? Oh yeah baby! UPS has been non-stop for 2 weeks now and trust me those buttons get clicked and my bills get paid. You know why??? Because it’s my mindset and THAT is where the turn on is. The men that are into are INTO it and not just any woman HAS IT. They aren’t stupid. They know a Queen (or princess) when the encounter one. There are many aspects to my nature. I love them all. My cards are totally on the table each and every time. I won’t make excuses and whine that I need to weed out fakes, blah blah… I use men because I can and I LOVE it! It turns me on, makes me happy and everyone is happy so it’s all good. Sometimes I get the impression that many of you think these are poor helpless guys being taking advantage of. Nothing is further from the truth. Most sub guys adore smart, sexy, demanding and spoiled women. What wrong with showering her with gifts or taking that extra JOB just to buy me things? I actually think its hot and a true submissive who makes such sacrifices for ME, well that’s a very good boy! lol Cha-Ching!!!

DiannaVesta -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/16/2006 11:07:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Arpig quote: Which likely sounds like an insult ....it was an insult quote: not ALL dommes require this, but most do, especially prodommes. ....if they don't require being paid, then they ain't a prodomme, somewhat obvious dontcha think? Now as to financial domination...if the slave surrenders assets, etc. to the owner, and the slave is then supported by the owner, this form of financial domination is just another aspect of D/s, however if the slave is handing over money without the owner taking responsibility for the slave's maintenance and care, then that is either a form of prostitution or it is a con. Financial domination online is simply internet porn, if you are comfortable being a whore, then by all means go for it, it is legal. lol- trust me you don't get it. Don't give advice on something you really have no idea about.

MuscleyandCute -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/16/2006 3:24:21 PM)
Diana, when you lied under a tree and thought about being a queen as it says in your profile. Do you think that this thought was inspired by your sexuality or just a selfish ideology born of some kind of greedy self obsessed personality disorder like 'narcassist'? or perhaps you where badly damaged in some psychological way in the past giving you grandious compensation fantasies of power? I can tell you now that most sub guys certainly do not like spoiled women, we are for the most part psychologically sane individuals who simply want a healthy relationship with woman in line with our sexuality in the same way a homosexual man would want to date a man for example. Seek help if I where you.

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/17/2006 2:07:12 AM)
Wow there was an awful lot said here while I've been away, so thanks for all of the replies, I appreciate every one of them I read, and am grateful for the sharing of thoughts/personal feelings and even experiences from real life. Thanks everyone [:D][:D][:D] That said, in response to the man who believes I was insulted and that I'm planning a future of being a whore...well, we're each entitled to our opinions shrug Regarding many sub males not wanting to a spoil a dom, I find that hard to believe because even though the men I've been with either dom or 'nilla -- I've always been spoiled, it's on my long list of needs/desires. They weren't all doing this because I manipulated them into it, there were many who did so just because it made them feel good. Knight in shining armor metality I'd guess; stereotypical gender role of provider and caregiver. I'm sure there are many women who enjoy spoiling their partners as well, so it goes both ways. Thanks again for all the replies, and hoping everyone deals with the little conflicts well lol [:)]

DiannaVesta -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/17/2006 4:06:26 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MuscleyandCute Diana, when you lied under a tree and thought about being a queen as it says in your profile. Do you think that this thought was inspired by your sexuality or just a selfish ideology born of some kind of greedy self obsessed personality disorder like 'narcassist'? or perhaps you where badly damaged in some psychological way in the past giving you grandious compensation fantasies of power? I can tell you now that most sub guys certainly do not like spoiled women, we are for the most part psychologically sane individuals who simply want a healthy relationship with woman in line with our sexuality in the same way a homosexual man would want to date a man for example. Seek help if I where you. Oh yeah I can tell you're an expert! lol But I'll will clue you in on this, perhaps fuel to your ignorance, BUT I DO have power issues and there are 1000’s out there that adore me because of it. My sexuality is well balanced in all aspects. I do notices that you took quite a bit of time checking me out. That in itself tells me all I need to know. No doubt it makes you angry. Now that is a psychological problem YOU should investigate.

Voltare -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/17/2006 5:00:18 AM)
Wow - this is a really great discussion! I feel like I just came in the tail end of a conversation about fiscal conservativism and social liberalism (way off topic, anyone know why the Firefox dictionary flags conservativism as misspelled, but not liberalism?) With the exception of only a couple bits of flame bait, I would tend to agree with most of what's been said. Arpig, exactly what is it about prostitution that makes you grit your teeth so much, that you feel the need to use it as an insult? Are your own personal BDSM interests left over from latent Puritanical impulses to beat and punish the unholy? The world's oldest profession is the result of simple supply and demand, with a biologically driven, socially reinforced sexual impulses. Do you fault doctors for treating illnesses? After all, bacteria is a normal, biologically driven issue as well. My only personal complaint against Professional BDSM services of any type are when they aren't honest about the services they offer. I dislike personal 'relationship' ads being used by Pros like one would use a tech support forum to sell computer parts - but that's about it. In fact, offering these sorts of services (regardless of gender) can allow people to explore fantasies without the risk of anyone being emotionally hurt. A man married to a vanilla woman, for example, having frequent, strong fantasies of being a TS/subbie/manslut could act out those fantasies with a Pro, find that he hates the reality of it, and go back to his married life having exorcised his 'hidden' fantasies. So, too, could a woman married to a vanilla man act out her fantasies of being a full time slave - only to find out the first time she's hit with a flogger, she's hooked and file for divorce the next day. Either way, the risk is minimized because with a Pro, you (hopefully!) don't have to worry about a dozen phone calls at home, stalking, risk of exposure, etc etc. The 'Financial Domination' aspect is one that I dislike, personally. I see it as exploitative - but naturally there will always be people who wish to be exploited. "Sweet Dreams are made of these... who am I to disagree... For timeoutgurlie (or anyone who might consider Financial Domination), you might want to take into consideration some of the emotional risks involved with something of this nature. Suppose you became involved with a male slave/sub who wants to be involved with Financial Domination. After six months of regular tribute, and increasingly extravagant gifts, he one day tearfully tells you that he's now broke. Apparently in an effort to shower you with what you so richly deserve, he maxed out his credit cards, defaulted on his car and house loans, robbed from his kids college fund, bounced checks, and now his wife left taking his kids. While there is no question that as a consenting, responsible adult it's his fault, how would you feel about those consequences? Obviously, some people would be fine with it, and if it hadn't been you taking his money, it probably would have been someone else. To make things worse, though, what happens if you're later slapped with a civil lawsuit from his wife, claiming that you were directly responsible for his actions, and that you took advantage of him. Whether you knew of his addiction or not, the black and pink latex/leather outfit she has photos of you wearing will go a long way to win her support, and civil cases are on weight of evidence - not reasonable doubt. Please understand I'm not trying to scare anyone, just that there can be far reaching consequences of dealing with people who might be drawn to any fantasy situation. There's a LOT of money to be made from men for satisfying their fantasies - but the emotional investment and risks can also become unbearable. Stephan

ObedientYYC -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/17/2006 2:12:39 PM)
In the absence of a committed long term relationship, financial domination is nothing more than a charade to extract personal gain.

mnottertail -> RE: Financial Domination/slavery (12/17/2006 2:43:13 PM)
If I send you guys a 20 will you quit with this shit already? One of the worlds unsolvable mysteries, is it not? Ron

Grlwithboy -> Another perspective (12/17/2006 11:31:02 PM)
Humiliation is a prime interest of mine if not THE prime interest. Sick, dark, deranged humiliating talk punctuated with some twisted reindeer games and I'm in heaven. Making someone do something absurdly stupid turns my crank at times. That's not politically correct, but what is? Bottom line - what's stupider than giving over a wad of cash for absolutely NO reason? People make all kinds of essentially ridiculous demands on submissives to intensify the feeling of "I'll do anything you wish!" and this is just a flavor. If you don't like it, don't eat it. I'm far from fake or obsessed with the money - I committed to development outside of being a professional for seven years before I felt remotely ready to try that arena, and I'm active in the scene now, while on hiatus as a professional. Financial domination is not my only scene - remuneration isn't the only way to get to play with me, and these days outside of phone sessions it's not the issue at all, as I'm not doing face to face SM for anything other than my own personal jollies. The actual money I've garnered in this fashion wasn't a living and it wasn't bankrupting the men in question, but saying it was sure was hot, DAMN hot. For both of us. It's a tool and a means to an end if you're really into the significance of the cash more than the cash itself. Like most scenes it sounds pretty stupid if it's not one that is hot-making for you.

WeeIttyBitty -> RE: Another perspective (12/18/2006 5:31:42 PM)
Financial Domination is one of those area's that seems to attract alot of attention, but I doubt there is all that much action... I mean really how much money will someone hand over to a total stranger with no expectation of further interactions? Not a whole lot I would guess... The type of thing I would be interested in is more the 'lifestyle management' - like pro athletes do... The manager takes care of all the bills etc, sets aside a retirement fund and gives the athlete an allowance to live on ... What would make this a form of domination if the sub no longer had access to any financial information about his life at all.. and was only permitted a gas card and a cash allowance. (that every penny has to be accounted for) It wouldn't be a self-destructive dive into depravity anymore but the sub gets his financial life in order and perhaps improves his credit score or gets out of debt... This seems the way to go... A lot of the financial Dom types seem to want to destroy or ruin their volunteered victims, that seems short sighted and destructive to both participants in the game...

AAkasha -> RE: Another perspective (12/19/2006 8:30:45 AM)
What is interesting about these threads is how quickly sub men get all bitter and complain about the women who "take advantage" of the poor, helpless guys who get duped into sending cash to random strangers who then disappear on them, or get exploited (and not in a way that turns them on). Why don't you guys start getting all over EACH OTHER for falling for these scams over and over again? It's supply and demand. The fact that some men (who do not have a financial fetish, but are desperate) fall for this scam is unbelievable, especially after how much the topic is covered places like this. If you don't like sending a stranger money, don't do it. If you think a woman is exploiting you for money, don't give her money, and move on. But some get so wrapped up in the fantasy they open their wallet with one hand while stroking their dick with the other. The reason so many women (and MEN) flock to this scam of "send me a tribute and I will send you a photo or talk to you" is supply and demand. There are THAT MANY idiots in the form of men sending money along and then whining about it. If you are so bitter and angry, don't get down on the women doing the scamming (there are plenty of men with fake profiles pretending to be women doing it too), get down on the guys who are so desperate they continue to feed the source. If you all got together and shut your wallets, and then left alone those men who WANT to send gifts and cash, then everyone would be happy. And for those that have fallen for the slow, complicated, "I really like you but I am in a bind...I need some money, just enough to cover the flight" scam, that's NOT a "dominant woman" scam - that's an online "romance" scam that is perpetrated by sub women just as much as dominant women. The lesson is the same: don't let your desperation push you to open your wallet. If you are not getting ALL of what you want from the moment you say goodbye to the cash, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. See, these "financial subs" really have one up on you: they get PLEASURE when they send the gift or cash. They don't do it expecting a "payoff" so they aren't here whining. It's the guys that send cash in the hopes of having a fantasy met, in a non-negotiated, non consensual way with a total stranger on the Internet -- those are the guys crying. None of this would happen if you didn't let your horniness rule your brain! Akasha

GoddesssJane -> RE: Another perspective (12/19/2006 12:05:59 PM)
I find it very interesting that in a world where the different is suppose to be accepted, that so many people will jump on the podium and shout "your wrong!" "your immoral" "your greedy, goldigging" etc etc Why is it that people can be involved in anything from scat to even beastiality (which I've seen on some forums), to cbt, and whips and chains, yet mention money and many people go off their rockers!?? Is the whole name of the alt lifestyle not suppose to be "safe, sane, and consensual?" so if we're all adults, and we're upfront by what we do, and willing to delve into financial domination, what the heck is it to you?!?!?!??! What makes our particular fetish wrong? what makes yours right?, who are you to judge? What happend to different strokes for different folks? Geez give it a break! Nobody died and made you people who against it god. You don't like it? Then move on...simple as that! I read and see what others do, and I think "ew gross" or "I could never do that" but I don't jump up and down and call you names and insult those of you who I don't agree with.....as the saying goes, agree to disagree. Now all that being said, yes, I am a financial domme. So what? I was brought into it by a sub!! I've spoke to many many subs who love this form of domination and crave it! They look at it as the ultimate submission, the highest form of humiliation, or adoration....or what ever turns their crank! It's their choice! I can't really force anyone to hand over their money!!! I'm not holding a gun to their head, saying "do it or else" They do have the last say in all of this! I want them to hurt a little and feel it when they give me their money or tribute me, but I'd never ever ruin them, or leave them without food, shelter, or the basic nessesities (unless I was absolutely sure that's what they wanted, and even then it's iffy) If I took control over their finances I'd make sure their bills or paid and they are looked after!!!! So just because you don't agree with something, doesn't make it wrong! Maybe wrong for you, but not wrong for me, and those who enjoy it!

WeeIttyBitty -> RE: Another perspective (12/19/2006 7:00:57 PM)
Hey, I dont have a problem with people paying for play. SM is an expensive hobby and if you intend to build a good toy collection or a basement playroom, it could easily cost several thousand dollars to realize your fantasies. Its only fair that both partners in the experience contribute something to pay for it. I have a friend that I play with regularly (about once a month) and I give her money or something to help with her playroom. Its not a big deal... What I take issue with, is the financial domination that leads to financial ruin. It maybe just a fantasy, but anyone who's had scrapes with real financial ruin will tell you that its not a fun game for anyone involved.

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Another perspective (12/20/2006 1:49:47 AM)
Short of a few barbs everyone's handled the differences in opinions pretty well considering it's aparently a pretty touchy subject. I didn't expect it initially to be a topic that would be so controversial or even emotional, but it turned out to be both for many, so it's fantastic that it's played out without much hurt feelings at the end of the day. I posted this with of course a huge interest in the topic, the dynamic behind it, how the people involved - or even those who haven't been involved - felt about it, but not to get tips and tricks on how to start my own business on the side. Mainly, this was a discussion with a sub male, the same that goes on with males and females regardless of their preferences/lifestyle choices, and how it's stereotypically expected that a woman will want a man who earns at least a decent income, preferably something 'comfortable', or is ideally 'independently welathy'. It lead into the financial domination aspect because he'd encountered this himself, with dommes proposing they'd offer him domination, but financial only, and I actually had never heard of it so I wasn't even sure it truly existed. We chatted more about it and I decided to come to the source and see if any of the ladies here would share some info on the topic, and here we are. I love money, it's what's driven me to be successful, fiercely ambitious, so of course if I could get into the mentality of this or had the skills to dominate anyone, it would be something I could see myself enjoying. That said, I know I have nothing to offer as far as domination, so unless someone wanted to really just forward me cash and never speak to me...it would be too much of an investment of time and energy. I think this is what many of the ladies are saying, that they enjoy the money, but moreso they enjoy the relationship element, and that's where they find satisfaction. Personally, I would find it a chore, I'd rather go to work doing something I enjoy that makes me money. Now, with that said, I can completely understand those, women and men, who would manipulate and scam money from anyone dumb enough to oblige as a way to get quick cash without much effort. Is it "right", not for me personally, but I wouldn't degrade anyone who made that choice. I'd rather see them using their time more effectively and utilizing their talents to work in sales and likely earn much more than they would from financial slaves, but that's not my choice to make. As for Voltare's question, I haven't been in that situation and can't forsee myself realistically in it, so I can't give you any degree of certainty in how I'd feel. My best guess is that I wouldn't be in that position because I don't feel I'd do well as a domme, even if it were solely a financial domme. As a third party I do feel badly for people in that situation, but I'm very much one to accept responsibility and believe all too many do not exercise the same...I'd be likely to reserve feelings of true sorrow toward those who never had any amount of finances to lose rather than those who make the choice to run themselves into the ground. For those born into poverty, they, IMO, "deserve" to have others wish better for them. Those who live in poverty through their own devices, be it addiction to drugs, alcohol, spending beyond their means...I feel very little for them. I feel like I should feel guilty to say that, because generally I do care very much for others, but I have a very staunch position on those who live poorly - in any manner not just financially - through their own decisions/choices. mnotter - Has the ship sailed on that 20? giggles Thanks all for the replies [:D]

DiannaVesta -> RE: Another perspective (12/20/2006 4:11:42 AM)
Because it is symbolic and the ultimate loss of control. Some men equate money and their dicks as power. Or even things that buy money like cars, boats and houses. Real men with balanced power don’t give two flying fucks about making a stink about it. They sit back, assess the situation and they stay or move on. Taking a man’s money is like taking the essence of his nature. I wouldn’t accept a weenie whack that finds it necessary to throw rocks to even begin to understand. There are some guys here (I won’t point fingers… everyone knows who they are) that have a chip on their shoulders. They all got an opinion and are experts on things they know nothing about. This is called “Little Dick Syndrome”. When a man has no money, small dick and is truly worthless, he lashes out trying to justify his existence. It’s a fact. It’s another fact that only a REAL MAN can truly relinquish control to a powerful and TRULY dominant woman. Ladies that are relatively new to the scene OR been in the WRONG scene, don’t let these guys fool or intimidate you. First of all a REAL gentleman would never pass the kind of judgment the way some of these dicks weeds do. There is an intelligent was to get your opinion across rather then insult a woman. They seem to forget that they are stepping into OUR arena but there’s that last thread of control they cling to because a) they have small dicks b) no money c) no life d) no personality worth anything It’s up to you if you want to pacify these dick weeds or exterminate them. You might find my ways a bit hardcore but I prefer to cut to the chase and get down with it. What they are TOO stupid to see is how very capable I am so why would I walk through an overgrown garden of weeds just to find a rose to pick? Same for all of you… Most of the women I have encountered here are highly intelligent and professional. No, we don’t HAVE to have anything from these weenie whacks; we are far more capable then most. WE enjoy a well mannered, truly submissive GENTLEMAN that can seduce ALL the facets of our nature. I will be damn if I will make excuses why I’m not here to serve the needs of a male that SHOULD be pursuing me NOT me feeding his needs so he’ll be submissive to me. The men affected with the disease “Little Dick Syndrome” will be the first to spout out equality in a D/s relationship and how baldy HE needs an understanding and compassionate DOM. Then behind closed doors he’s yanking his little dick to hardcore femdom porn where the woman shows no regard for his worthless ass. The reality of this is that he’s too much of a damn sissy and afraid to walk the walk. This severely confusing and threatens his nature causing him to lash out and justify his existence. Have you ever noticed that the ones who bark loudest are still alone? I don’t scam… scamming would be a type of manipulation and I save manipulation for adjusting machismo, not taking their money. My cards are on the table… support my work, honor my existence and spoil me. Ladies, try it, you just might like it.

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Another perspective (12/20/2006 6:29:50 AM)
quote: My cards are on the table… support my work, honor my existence and spoil me. Oh no! I just found out I'm a femdom [:D] Just kidding, of course. Wonder if I'm one of the few submissives who hold those same expectations...even if I were the only one, it works for me so I have no plans to conform [:-] lol Now I think I've seen a glimpse of the female supremacy way of thinking, I don't follow that train of thought personally (I think [&:]) but it's quite interesting. To over simplify what female supremacy is, would it be the reverse of the stereotypical male gender role? It's seems logical that it would be just that, but you know me, I have to ask anyhow [X(] lol

DiannaVesta -> RE: Another perspective (12/20/2006 8:21:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie quote: My cards are on the table… support my work, honor my existence and spoil me. Oh no! I just found out I'm a femdom [:D] Just kidding, of course. Wonder if I'm one of the few submissives who hold those same expectations...even if I were the only one, it works for me so I have no plans to conform [:-] lol Now I think I've seen a glimpse of the female supremacy way of thinking, I don't follow that train of thought personally (I think [&:]) but it's quite interesting. To over simplify what female supremacy is, would it be the reverse of the stereotypical male gender role? It's seems logical that it would be just that, but you know me, I have to ask anyhow [X(] lol Its not the same. There are a number of post about these views or you can come join us at http://www.femsupreme.com/village/ its free. Something that you might find interesting is that I have known submissive women who had dominant daddy types. These women were very spoiled and even tho they are on the bottom, the one getting tied and spanked, they are actually the one pulling the strings. This is not really topping from the bottom, to me, but a whole other dynamic.

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Another perspective (12/20/2006 8:39:42 PM)
Funny you should say that because my partner often says that even though he's the Master, I'm the one in control. To a point, I see what he means, but overall I laugh at him and tell him if he only realized how much power he has over me... Very interesting, I didn't think there'd be others who had that same kind of 'dynamic' within their relationship. I believed it was just because he's so much a caregiver that he put my needs above his own, and felt that I had more power emotionally? It's hard thing to describe. Thanks for the link, will definitely check it out, will be very cool to read what the feelings are from another POV. Never thought to search it here on the forums, but that would've been the obvious answer...it's no wonder I didn't think of it [:o] lol

ObedientYYC -> RE: Another perspective (12/21/2006 4:46:18 PM)
Highly experienced Domme D (not her real name) meets one of her best girlfriends K (not her real name) for a chat over a coffee. K is new to the bdsm world and is a submissive. In a way, D is K's mentor as well as friend, and K always trusts D's advice. During the course of the conversation, K tells D of a new male Dom she has met. It turns out that this Dom is a bit unusual, in that he started out by expecting K to pay for everything when they go out. Then after a while, he started demanding gifts like CDs and items of clothing. Finally, K confides that her new master has just told her that he wishes her to now "tithe" 20% of her take-home pay directly to him! K confesses that she enjoys feeling controlled, though obviously money is going to be tighter for her than it used to be from now on. She asks her friend D for her opinion, knowing that with D's long experience in the lifestyle, she would never steer her wrong. D. tells her good friend: A) "Don't worry honey, financial domination is a wonderful way to express submission to your Dom. In fact, I do it all the time with my own slaves, and its really HOT!!" or B) "Get the Fck away from that A*hole!!"

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