RE: Being collared

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theRose4U -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:11:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie I think it's incredible coincidence two people in the lifestyle would work in the same office. Makes one kick back and want to pay closer attentio to coworkers to see if any others are in the building lol [:D] Heck she's only obvious because I know what I'm looking for. The new guy in IT I got hired because I saw he was a sub and you could tell a very devoted one. In the company we have 2 dom's that I'm sure of, one that I suspect and at least 3 other collared subs. The big tattle for me was the christmas party last year. Take a very close look at the jewelry that they wear. If it seems familier from one of the catalogs keep the giggles to yourself. Keep a close eye on how posessive the men are or accepting of being waited on the women are...these things allow you to pick out others in a crowd. Before any of the newbies get worried. Yes we all keep our thoughts to ourselves except in very close private conversations. Even I was picked out because the boy was being extra attentive. The nillas even picked up that something was different about our relationship. My boy was getting me drinks and at my request bringing them very willingly for the other ladies. Their husbands (my boss and co-workers) were calling him a pussy to his face while grunting and scratching themselves. Pretty typical for male subs women love them and men hate them. Once you've been in the lifestyle a while you start to notice mannerisms, jewelry and tell tale phrases. It makes people watching so much more interesting.

delust666 -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:18:34 PM)
Thank you to all who replied. Daddysredhead and Samkeithsslave you made very good point that I have taken in to mind.....yet I have one lil problem ..... Alot of my x partners I am still friends with and many know what kind of life I live but should I tell them the real story behind me collar or could that damage something. Many still have feelings for me but know I am happy and no one acts on there feelings just I dont want to hurt theirs. What should I do? Thanks again

Daddysredhead -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:23:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U The big tattle for me was the christmas party last year. giggles My company Christmas party is on the 15th. I can't wait to see... I can spot them pretty well, too, and Daddy surely can. I'm already "out" to two girls at my new work because one came dressed as a "Domin-a-witch" for work on Halloween and she was sporting a flogger tucked in her belt. (Turns out she borrowed the outfit from her sister who is a Domme, and I have met since.) However, when someone called it her "whip" - I corrected him and said, "Looks more like an elkskin flogger to me." He looked baffled and walked away muttering. The girl wearing it looked at me and said, "How did you know?" I smiled and asked, "Am I right? It's elk, isn't it?" She replied, "Well, I don't know, but my sister said that only the truly kinky ones would know what the thing was called, much less the hide its made out of!" I was beet red... and told her that I was probably familiar with a lot of the things that her sister kept hanging up in her closet. [8D]

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:24:00 PM)
That's the thing, I can pinpoint characteristics that i specifically look for in an individual, for various reasons, and this is what I've been exposed to and "trained" myself to be perceptive and sensitive to...but I really do feel like the Amish seeing somewhere like the Las Vegas Strip...it's just a sensory overload, and this is only seeing it in text. I think I might wet myself in a completely nonconsentual way the first time I attend any 'public' event -- public being anywhere with lifestylers that it is not my actual home lol There was a very sweet domme in my area, I contacted her on the other side and she was such a doll, and I had to pull out before ever going. Had hoped maybe beign in the company of someone very comfortable and well known, especially a domme, would make me feel "ok" but it was that panic of "oh no" and now I think I may have to go to somewhere at least 6 states away LoL

theRose4U -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:26:30 PM)
quote: I think I'd just be too...dumb is a harsh word, not sure which to use...I wouldn't be perceptive enough about it to feel sure. And would be much too chicken shit to discuss it or ask. I'm kind of the top rung, so to make myself vulnerable in that way makes me a bit panicky...I'd love to ask a couple though now that I've thought about it. Putting yourself at risk is not a good idea because yes this is something that the wrong people would try to use against you...my last boss tried. There are tell tale phrases that you learn to pick up on. My secretary I just noticed a necklace I'd seen on stockroom and casually mentioned how nice it was and where did she get it. The immediate eye drop and blush gave her away more than the fact I realized WHERE I'd seen her necklace before. It was a gift from my boyfriend with a beet red face and downcast eyes confirmed what I'd suspected. The next week when I asked her opinion about a gift for "the boy" and that I was looking for something that looked like chain but was work appropriate. She stared in shock for a few minutes and replied Ma'am now I know why you always seem to get me. I patted her on the head and said now you know such discussions at work aren't appropriate and it was not discussed again.

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:28:08 PM)
Daddy'sRed - Very cute story, I admire the comfort you have to be "out" intentionally, that has to be great, no worry about slipping up somehow or laughing inappropriately at "strange" wrods/phrases [X(] lol Think it's great for all of you who are openly out there, aspire to be there ASAP myself, God willing... lol

Daddysredhead -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:29:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: delust666 Thank you to all who replied. Daddysredhead and Samkeithsslave you made very good point that I have taken in to mind.....yet I have one lil problem ..... Alot of my x partners I am still friends with and many know what kind of life I live but should I tell them the real story behind me collar or could that damage something. Many still have feelings for me but know I am happy and no one acts on there feelings just I dont want to hurt theirs. What should I do? Thanks again Hi, Delust... which point made you think? [&:] lol... What type of collar do you wear? Is it passable as vanilla jewelry? Secondly, is it that you are collared and are worried that your exes will be jealous that you have made this committment and it was not with one of them? If that is the case, and they are still good friends, they will be happy that you are with someone who cares for you and wants you in his life. If they take some sort of exception, they are not real friends and it is better that you know that now.

timeoutgurlie -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:32:27 PM)
theRose - I think I just sympathy-blushed for that girl lol That's terrible that it was attempted to be used against you in the workplace, how awful of the one who spawned the campaign. Think if it happened to me I may go a little bit domme on their asses, hey maybe someone can hook me up with one of those elk skin floggers? You know, just incase giggles Well, he'll be home shortly, was great to chat with you all, take good care, and share some more "tells" -- I may be able to better work on keeping any of my obvious reactions better hidden to those in the know...Masters/Mistresses should include a dose of this into their training regimens [;)][:D]

theRose4U -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:40:34 PM)
quote: Many still have feelings for me but know I am happy and no one acts on there feelings just I dont want to hurt theirs. What should I do? The reality is when the time is right you'll know. If your masters purpose in choosing your collar was to be discrete going out and telling everyone what it is kind of goes against that. Besides LA has a saying I find to be true. The length of a relationship is usually inversely proportional to how quickly and loudly the couple advertises their undying devotion.

Daddysredhead -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:40:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: timeoutgurlie Daddy'sRed - Very cute story, I admire the comfort you have to be "out" intentionally, that has to be great, no worry about slipping up somehow or laughing inappropriately at "strange" wrods/phrases [X(] lol Think it's great for all of you who are openly out there, aspire to be there ASAP myself, God willing... lol Dear TOG, I'm open and out to some, and others probably wonder what it is, and I just smile - all Cheshire-cat like - and say nothing, so they are left feeling a little too unsteady to ask me anything. Another thing that must make people unsure is that I am very gregarious in my personality, etc. so they probably don't think of me as a submissive type... they just aren't sure. [:D] something along the lines of a hybrid of Robin Williams and Carol Burnett My family just thinks I am free-spirited and silly. My kink-accepting friends know otherwise... (btw, it takes time to put your feet in the water enough to be "out there"... you do what is best for you... and in your own time... and if it happens that you are comfy with it... that's awesome! if not, then it's still awesome, too...) ~ hugs ~ [:)]

delust666 -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:41:08 PM)
DaddysRedHead, The point that made me think was...Maybe it is enjoyable to my Master that he knows I feel weird in it. I can understand how it would he is that kind of person (not in a bad way hehhe) But that part made me think. And the X part....it's not that it's having to tell them I'm owned I guess. Cause before a few weeks ago everyone thought I wa still a dominant person cause I was in those relationships just I dont want to be thought less of because I am owned now....Is there a easier way I can break it down for them? Just a foot note. I worry alot about right and wrong , yes and no silly lil questions. But a girl on here told me to always ask so I dont get hurt and thats what I am doing for my body and my emotions.[;)] Thanks for your time, at least I can get answers that arent sugar coated and X rated cause I'm new to this. Thanks Delust...with Master by my side.

delust666 -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 8:45:11 PM)
Also I forgot to say...My collar is not Vanilla in any way ... it is 1inand quater thick and has a big ring in the front...A cat collar. It's black leather.... I like it, just it's soo big and flashy to me. Delust....with Master by me side.

Daddysredhead -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 9:03:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: delust666 Maybe it is enjoyable to my Master that he knows I feel weird in it. I can understand how it would he is that kind of person (not in a bad way hehhe) But that part made me think. ahhhh, yes... entirely possible [:)] quote: And the X part....it's not that it's having to tell them I'm owned I guess. Cause before a few weeks ago everyone thought I wa still a dominant person cause I was in those relationships just I dont want to be thought less of because I am owned now....Is there a easier way I can break it down for them? I get it... the same was for me. I was always, always the "take-charge, dominant" one in my relationships, and this was very new to me. After three and a half years, there are still things that seem a little odd to me, but I smile and work through it. There are people who "knew me when" who cannot understand that when I say, "I have to go right now" that I do not mean, I'll go when I am damn good and ready and He can just sit in the car and wait till I'm done. I just tell them that I've grown up a lot in the past several years and prefer to be in a relationship that is based on mutual respect. They really cannot argue with that without looking like an ass. quote: Just a foot note. I worry alot about right and wrong , yes and no silly lil questions. But a girl on here told me to always ask so I dont get hurt and thats what I am doing for my body and my emotions.[;)] Thanks for your time, at least I can get answers that arent sugar coated and X rated cause I'm new to this. I understand your wanting to be cautious and sympathetic to the feelings of others. It's a good trait. Don't lose it. I've seen too many people on here who have let that part of them go sour and their posts tend to reflect that. Not saying that I'm any better, I just understand that you seem to have a good heart. Always ask questions. Daddy's favorite saying for subs is to remember the principal of "why?" And even if you are a slave for many years, when that question is asked in a respectful way, a Master will most likely be happy to share His reasons. quote: Thanks Delust...with Master by my side. Best wishes to you both. And Delust... keep asking, girlie. Ask till you get your answers... at least that's what I do. (After a while people realize that you are going to keeping asking questions and they tend to give you the straight poop on the first go round after a while... just to shut you up! lol...) [:D]

theRose4U -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 9:07:13 PM)
quote: theRose - I think I just sympathy-blushed for that girl lol That's terrible that it was attempted to be used against you in the workplace, how awful of the one who spawned the campaign. Think if it happened to me I may go a little bit domme on their asses, She's a dear friend and I HIGHLY encouraged her to keep under the radar with everyone and obviously never discussed her "situation" with anyone that could identify her. It did however make "girl talk" a more careful thing unless we were alone. My boss will hopefully rot in a hell of his own creation sooner than later. My hint should have been when the same night his wife was going on about how helpful my companion was and the failings of her husband she says, "I'd like to apologize in advance for whatever my husband WILL SAY to offend you". I couldn't decided if I was more shocked at what she'd said or that she felt the need to say it. The problem is that my job is more domme than anything. I'm good at what I do but being a woman with the keys to the boys club can be a dangerous thing. There are always those wankers that will attempt to dominate you without your permission or consent. It's worse when you're so sensitive and aware that you see things coming weeks in advance. You know that something underhanded is in the works but you're not positive of when it's going to pop up. As far as blushing on her behalf...if you're going to allow yourself to be aware of other kinksters in your vanilla world you must become fully comfortable with the phrase," I have no recollection of the events to which you are referring". The fake shock and suprise, "she's a WHAT, oh my god how do you know (and wait for them to out themselves)". The one that saved my ass when I realized the guy I looked at and went, " I know you from somewhere" and he replied likewise was from HERE and neither of us was alone... "Oh my lord I didn't recognize you" with a bow and flurish curtsey, "Will you be at the next SCA meeting?" this allowed both of us to pass it off to our companions and regroup.

theRose4U -> RE: Being collared (12/3/2006 9:44:32 PM)
quote: Cause before a few weeks ago everyone thought I wa still a dominant person cause I was in those relationships just I dont want to be thought less of because I am owned now....Is there a easier way I can break it down for them? This is one of the main reasons that I identify as a switch. I'm a domme to most in my life but I met that one that really flipped that on it's ear. He's all alpha and years later I'd still drop everything on a moments notice to be with him. The way that I explain him is that he makes me be a better person. He's strong, nurturing, and makes me be the best person I can every day. Together as 2 strong, intelligent people we weere a force to be reconed with. Better in business because we played off the others strengths, better in inter-personal relationships because it was another set of eyes on a situation, and better balanced about stress and personal time because we cared for and about each other. Being with him didn't make me weak in any way, if anything it enhanced the positives I already had. I was dominant with my job, dominant with him within the scope of my job (he was a vendor) and had the benefit of his input for challenges I faced. When alone the dominant side helped me to be tough with demanding he take care of himself, helping him to reign in his temper, and open enough to tell him when he's missing a subtle message that's the key to closing "the big deal". I was in many ways better and more complete for knowing him. Anyone on the outside only noticed a confidence and calm that came over me. Slave to one doesn't make you doormat to all I would just be honest with your friends that you found someone that makes you want to be a better person. If it's the right person they won't change what makes you who you are they will just enhance what innately makes you special. Most friends are accepting of this.

delust666 -> RE: Being collared (12/4/2006 2:26:22 PM)
Hey DaddysRedHead, Well thanks for all the help your comment went a far way. It's nice to now that there is someone out there who will answer questions..... Thanks again...We'll chat again I hope. Thanks DeLust

medievalwench -> RE: Being collared (12/4/2006 2:35:55 PM)
i wear my collar all the time and responses at work have generally been 'nice necklace', i wear an eternity collar. The few people who know what it is at work just make funny mentions of it occasionally, the one time Master had me wear my tag i did feel very selfconscious, but He only did that once and when i explained that i wasn't ashamed to show that i am His but that i was a bit uncomfortable He allowed me to remove the tag. i have worn a black leather collar in the past and people just think its afashoin thing, i didn't wear that one for work though. wench

lighthearted -> RE: Being collared (12/4/2006 6:17:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead quote: ORIGINAL: theRose4U The big tattle for me was the christmas party last year. giggles My company Christmas party is on the 15th. I can't wait to see... I can spot them pretty well, too, and Daddy surely can. I'm already "out" to two girls at my new work because one came dressed as a "Domin-a-witch" for work on Halloween and she was sporting a flogger tucked in her belt. (Turns out she borrowed the outfit from her sister who is a Domme, and I have met since.) However, when someone called it her "whip" - I corrected him and said, "Looks more like an elkskin flogger to me." He looked baffled and walked away muttering. The girl wearing it looked at me and said, "How did you know?" I smiled and asked, "Am I right? It's elk, isn't it?" She replied, "Well, I don't know, but my sister said that only the truly kinky ones would know what the thing was called, much less the hide its made out of!" I was beet red... and told her that I was probably familiar with a lot of the things that her sister kept hanging up in her closet. [8D] oh, daddysredhead and rose4u, you have just made the thought of the company xmas parties I have to attend something to look forward too! one this Friday and one this Saturday, and the Saturday one will be an ultra-corporate snoozefest. finally, a brand new and exciting spin on all those hideous holiday outfits...thanks!

Daddysredhead -> RE: Being collared (12/4/2006 6:50:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: delust666 Hey DaddysRedHead, Well thanks for all the help your comment went a far way. It's nice to now that there is someone out there who will answer questions..... Thanks again...We'll chat again I hope. Thanks DeLust You are more than welcome. Would love to chat... any time. [:)] ~ DRH

Daddysredhead -> RE: Being collared (12/4/2006 6:54:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lighthearted finally, a brand new and exciting spin on all those hideous holiday outfits...thanks! Just imagine what the people wearing the hideous outfits must have done to deserve such punishment as public fashion humiliation!!! [:D]

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