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RE: Premature Petnames - 12/5/2006 10:20:20 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I dont know about others, but I use little one in lifestyle arenas like most use sweetie or honey. "Little one" doesnt mean much to me, but more involved pet names do. I would never call anyone else Angel.
Sometimes a name is just a name. After all, since I am fairly sure you arent offering up your real name to these guys right off the bat, they need SOMETHING to call you... and I personally prefer little one or my pet to cunt, bitch or whore. But that just me.

DV

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VampiresLair

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Post #: 21

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 6:08:41 AM

Aine

Posts: 820
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

I'd have to agree. "little one" is a rather generic term, and I've used it on rare occassion when I didn't have a name by which to call them. As for anything with "my" in front of it....I steer clear of those as they are not mine, nor am I in a position to be looking or implying that I'm looking for anything outside of my current relationship. Putting "my" in front of things can be confusing to the sub, if they are new and unsure of things, some might take offense, as well as confusing to others who might be around. Calling one who is not yours "my pet" etc can easily cause people to assume that that sub is yours when they are not.

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Post #: 22

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 7:47:49 AM

badlilthang

Posts: 357
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

i have never understood this intense debate about pet names...i have been called everything in the book - from babe - to baby - little one - girl - c*nt and w*ore..lol....i say it is more the Man that it is the name.
for some Doms it is simply a term of endearment, for Others a way to try to make you feel small....either way - it is simple to avoid - just tell them what you prefer to be called..*L*..

i do not like being called slut or worse...but a total stranger, though..but said in the rigt context..and by the right voice....~shivers~.......

~bad~

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Post #: 23

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 7:48:25 AM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amaidiamond

"babydoll" "sugar" and "flower" Urrghs oh, and the most hated.... "babe" from Strangers....

<laffin>

I used babydoll quite frequently when talking to men...a few even get called princess if I really want to make a point

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Post #: 24

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 8:22:08 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

[fast reply]

One reason to use those pet names prematurely is to establish a hierarchy with you being below as the "little one" or "pet"; if you acquiesce to that then they can attempt other tests of their domliness to see how you respond. If all goes well, then they can continue to reel you in like a hoked fish until it comes time to actually set up a meeting, and then they find excuses to chicken out and move on to other on-line amusements.

I don't care for those pet names, and rather than using such tactics prematurely I prefer to wait until the timing is right and then see how they respond to cunt, and if that works then I'll reel them in. Same tactic, just a difference in style, timing, and of course, follow through.

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Post #: 25

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 9:04:11 AM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

I get personal messages ALL THE TIME from women I don't know that already start calling me specific pet names as part of their initial contact. Yeah, it's out of place when it happens, but I've decided over some time that it's just one of those things that's really not being all that concerned about unless my goal is to be negative towards EVERYONE that ever contacts me, and I'm just looking for reasons before we've ever had a few words exchanged between us.

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Post #: 26

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 9:08:54 AM

crouchingtigress

Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline

quote:

One reason to use those pet names prematurely is to establish a hierarchy with you being below as the "little one" or "pet"; if you acquiesce to that then they can attempt other tests of their domliness to see how you respond.If all goes well, then they can continue to reel you in like a hoked fish until it comes time to actually set up a meeting, and then they find excuses to chicken out and move on to other on-line amusements

i agree, but i dont agree about the sinister manipulative intent you are sort of implying...

as the dominant one one of your 'jobs' is to start creating a shift in power dynamic...and to start looking for cues as to not just who the person is, but who the submissive inside is....often times it is not clear because many submissives are pretty powerful in their day to day lives, and they are not always going to initiate the power shift.

in fact they are testing you to see if you do. so the dance begins...you start with little things, little tests...and see how they respond...the trick is subtlty....there are some doms with the finesse of a sledge hammer...thats them and thats their style some subs want and crave that...

there are some that you can be in conversation for many weeks, and then suddenly find yourself inexplicably submissive to that person...

and you read about that all the time on here. the sub has no idea why seemingly overnight, everything changed"

but there was no magic moment...it was a series of moments, of establishing trust, speaking candidly, being listened to, having things pointed out to them, being questioned about why they do something, and having the name establishing roles that created that effect..

its not the subs role to be aware of this happening...some are and some would rather not be,...niether is better or worse...

but it is IMO the doms role to be acutely aware of the power shifts and to orchestrate an environment for as much power shifting as the sub is wanting to engage in.

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Post #: 27

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 12:49:12 PM

DeviantDiva

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/25/2006
Status: offline

Very well put, crouching tigress. It truly is a matter of timing, I believe. And the process is so important too, a keen dom will be very in tune to those subtle power shifts and it can be quite a profound moment when he or she first addresses their submissive by a pet name.

quote:

but there was no magic moment...it was a series of moments, of establishing trust, speaking candidly, being listened to, having things pointed out to them, being questioned about why they do something, and having the name establishing roles that created that effect..

its not the subs role to be aware of this happening...some are and some would rather not be,...niether is better or worse...

but it is IMO the doms role to be acutely aware of the power shifts and to orchestrate an environment for as much power shifting as the sub is wanting to engage in.

(in reply to crouchingtigress)

Post #: 28

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 3:33:27 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
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Well, little ones, I use pet names affectionately, not in the early hours, of course.

Sadly, it happens, though, that occasionally things don't work out.

(in reply to DeviantDiva)

Post #: 29

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 3:39:53 PM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

I didn't use a "pet name" such as any given examples when I met beth, but I did so something akin to what 'happypervert' brings up and what 'crouchingtigress' expands upon.

beth introduced herself to me as Elizabeth. I called her beth. I didn't have any reason, it just felt right. The first time I did, she said that nobody ever referred to her as beth, and in fact it was the one nickname reference to Elizabeth that she didn't particularly enjoy being called. Well, from that point forward it was always beth.

It is MY name for her, and her name as 'baptized' into the lifestyle. To this day, I introduce her as Elizabeth in the company of vanillas, family, business acquaintances. beth is special and identified with her position as a slave. It comes in handy to maintain focus while in the company of unknowing others.

Was it premature on the 1st day? Maybe, but it was an important, quick benchmarking of our dynamic.

(in reply to DeviantDiva)

Post #: 30

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 4:57:16 PM

strangefruit

Posts: 36
Joined: 12/2/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I'm your Huckleberry..........

Doc

teehee!

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Post #: 31

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 5:12:58 PM

ScooterTrash

Posts: 1407
Joined: 1/24/2005
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GrizzlyBear

quote:

ORIGINAL: AmakeYumi

So ever since I knew I wouldn't be hearing from him again, I started to wonder why he'd treat me like then, then just up and leave. Do doms start with the pet names early to manipulate subs? To maybe blind them from seeing who they really are?Or just to get whatever they want from them?

He was probably married and using you as a distraction from his unhappy vanilla marriage. Lots of that going around. Or else he found someone else to manipulate that was more interesting.

Cyber-play is not real for most of the people who do it. It's a game, like a MORG. If what you want is something real, find a way to do things with real people and avoid chat rooms and online play.

Well, Grizz...I agree that many times folks tend to use online as a game, but that doesn't lessen the fact than many of us have used this media to form quite permanent bonds, yes, it happens. As for pet names...hmmm, I have to admit I might have said something to the effect of my now full time slave being a ditsy blonde...but it was done affectionately...lol.

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Post #: 32

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 5:39:03 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Well... I innocently give a lot of people I know "nick-names." There's nothing disrespectful about it, I think it's kind of a "cultural" thing for me being from the south. Usually I call my girl friends, "hun," "sweetie," or "missy." A lot of them call me little nick-names, too. It's not disparaging, just kind of the way it is. Being the last of 8 kids, I am used to being called about anything, and tend to answer to whatever name I get called.

I get called nick-names as well, none of it really bothers me unless it is used in a mean way, knowing that it is to make me feel bad. Then "Bitch" tends to suit me just fine because I resemble that remark once I'm pissed.

~ "Red"... "DRH"... "Hatrack"... you know, whatever... *giggles*

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Post #: 33

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/6/2006 8:18:00 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

I've been given pet names by everyone from teachers, friends, family and bosses. I have a tendancy to do the same. It's only bothers me if it's someone that i barely know and the pet name is inappropriate. *shruggs* I'm pretty easy going tho. I'll answer to almost anything *grins*

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Post #: 34

RE: Premature Petnames - 12/7/2006 7:12:51 AM

yourMissTress

Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I make pet names for everyone, eventually. I like to use terms of endearment with those I care about.
The names that the OP describes hold meaning in the BDSM circle. Those names imply a relationship dynamic that has not yet been established. IMO that equates to calling someone you've just began talking to your girlfriend or boyfriend even though you've yet to begin dating.
It is an easily solved issue if it makes you uncomfortable, as it would me, ask that they stop.

< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 12/7/2006 7:13:11 AM >

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Post #: 35

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