Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (Full Version)

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Missokyst -> Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/5/2006 6:37:18 PM)

I have been getting a lot of mail lately, making me drop into CM's main page to check out my incoming.  While there they have the usual introductions of various CM members.  I have noticed a few that state things like:
mail me what ur seeking, and tell me why I shuld consider u?

Ok, I know I am in the other generation but, who is the hunter and who is the prey?  Are subs supposed to be staking out dom territory and then hope someone chooses them?  Gak.  Is this a common trend?
Kyst





Aine -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/5/2006 6:39:22 PM)

Eh...I wouldn't call them subs.

To me, those are the "do-me" bottoms.



juliaoceania -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/5/2006 6:58:17 PM)

Could I ask that you clarify? Are these subs emailing you this, or doms... you have female submissive on your profile so I am unsure.

Either way, if it is doms emailing you this drivel (and that is what it is in my opinion) it is possibly because they believe this makes them seem "domly". I have had this approach in the past, and I just did not respond. I only had discourse with dominants that treated me as an equal to start with, and had no expectation that they should dominate me. I felt they should be courting me as much as I should be trying to impress them. But I suppose there are others this approach of "prove yourself now bitch" may work for... who knows!



Celeste43 -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/5/2006 9:15:44 PM)

Drivel is a good word for this. Me, I'd develop a snappy one liner in response and use it. "Because of your drivel, I will not consider you. Go far, far away". Something like that.

Basically I have to think they haven't any experience in relationships. Because everyone knows it takes two to tango, one to lead and one to follow. You both have to decide whether the other person is someone you want to dance with. It isn't a one way street unless your dance partner is a blow up doll.



Missokyst -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/5/2006 10:00:09 PM)

No, this isn't an email.  If I were to get something like this I would do what I do to any of them, read it, roll my eyes and click NEXT.
These are profiles in general.  The ones you see on the main collarme page.  I have always been accustomed to men approaching me.  Yet I have noticed more than a few "domly" types, making it clear the sub must, "submit a petition for attention" as it were.  From my POV it just isn't acceptable.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Could I ask that you clarify? Are these subs emailing you this, or doms... you have female submissive on your profile so I am unsure.




juliaoceania -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/5/2006 10:35:23 PM)

If this approach in their profile has been working then I suppose that it good for them. It would not gain my attention however. Perhaps there are subs that have the mentality that they want to "earn" their way into a dominant's life, if that is the case then I suppose they would be the type to respond to this sort of profile.

I believe people should court and try to impress each other. Until a dynamic is being established I do not believe any party should assume a role with each other... the message that this gives to me is that the dominant expects the submissive to take on a submissive role even before any sort of discourse has been exchanged, and even before the dominant has agreed to dominate the submissive. It puts the submissive in the position of giving power away before it has been established that it is safe to do so. In my present dynamic it was established that he would not attempt to extract power from me that I had not only consensually offered, but also that was freely offered, so what you are speaking of would not be something that would cause me to gravitate toward an individual.

My issues with profiles when I was looking were dominants that talked about punishing me physically, having gobs of rules for me to live by, and being strict in the enforcement of rules. I am not that sort of submissive, my service would not be enhanced by someone who punished me for every infraction and had gobs of rules. It seemed almost a fetish to me when I was looking, because in my eyes they were setting the stage for me to fail so they could swoop in and kick my ass for it... life is just too short for that sort of thing and it majorly did not appeal to me when I was looking for a dom...so I suppose we all have our buggaboos when we are searching.



julietsierra -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/6/2006 1:37:34 AM)

I just say "I am not seeking anything, or anyone. Thank you for your consideration."

Just because someone else shows the manners of a brick doesn't mean I have to.

juliet



amaidiamond -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/6/2006 1:48:20 AM)

I have to admit I agree with the point of view that two people are equals until negotiations begin, then when role is established they move into that dynamic because they choose to not because one is worth more than the other.
To be honest the Doms whos profile states XYZ and send me reasons why i would want you, hello you worthless slaves out there etc etc etc just wouldnt get my attention. I am not worthless, I am smart, pretty and socially well established (also very modest, honest) and just becuase a man is a Dom, does not make them MY Dom, and until it has been established that they are my Dom then they will be treated the same as I treat anyone, yes I have manners and yes i show respect but it is on a base level and goes to Doms and subs alike.
I have noticed a strange connection between those kind of profiles and the people e-mailing me saying "kneel bitch" and "slut this is your future Master" (to which I reply that I am perfectly happy with the one i have tyvm) :)



spankmepink11 -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/6/2006 3:19:18 AM)

Missokyst,

I've read quite a few profiles that state such things, and have gotten emails of a similar tone. To be honest, anyone  who implies that i must "prove myself worthy" of anything, is clearly not the one for me.

I also often wonder about the "hunter vs prey" implication.  I think there are many dominant types  who sort of present themselves as "i'm here"  and waits for the submissives to contact them.
I'm not very aggressive nor am i the best at initiating interactions, so thats something i seldom do. ( although i have on occasion, sometimes  even just to compliment someone on their profile or forum postings)



timeoutgurlie -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/6/2006 5:08:16 AM)

I read these messages since we sort of have no choice (wish it were like real email and had a subject line you could possibly just avoid straight off the bat) and used to reply, being ever so polite as I try to be in life generally...then realized, for the most part I'm sure, I was getting nothing more than a standard form letter, or worse -- an incohesive/incoherant half sentence.

So...they see I've read, and hopefully pass me by the next time, though I find I get the same messages over and over and learn to ignore that screen name when I see it *shrugs* What can ya do really?



Aine -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/6/2006 6:23:34 AM)

I can't even count how many people seem to forget that they've emailed me.  Let alone emailed me the same exact email from months ago.

For some it is mere days.  Talk about a lack of short term memory.



SilentHunter -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/6/2006 6:29:21 AM)

Unfortunatly its more like instant messeging without first being able to block them.



NaiveTempest -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/7/2006 10:06:28 PM)

Those profiles are probably the same "gentlemen" who email messages like "......I want to make you f*ck 5 guys...", "eat food off the floor", or "use and abuse you...write me back if you're interested!"
All I can think is, Wow, I'm really feeling your dominance....NOT!



Missokyst -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/7/2006 11:21:36 PM)

LOL.. omg that is so true!  I'll bet we have the exact same email messages from the very same people!
LOL too funny
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aine

I can't even count how many people seem to forget that they've emailed me.  Let alone emailed me the same exact email from months ago.

For some it is mere days.  Talk about a lack of short term memory.




NeedToUseYou -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/8/2006 12:12:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NaiveTempest

Those profiles are probably the same "gentlemen" who email messages like "......I want to make you f*ck 5 guys...", "eat food off the floor", or "use and abuse you...write me back if you're interested!"
All I can think is, Wow, I'm really feeling your dominance....NOT!


and I'm still waiting for an answer [:@]

lol



eyesopened -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/8/2006 3:36:32 AM)

i have never been totally sure who should contact whom first but i was raised in a time when females being "forward" was considered unattractive so i default to waiting patiently to be contacted first.  In the few instances where i have thrown caution to the wind and made the first contact i have been either ignored or rebuked so i retreat back to my default. 

i am not easily offended by the "tell me why I should consider you" emails.  In my opinion it's just another way of saying "tell me about yourself".  The internet is hardly the best vehicle for communication, it can really only be used as a filter, in my opinion.  On the other hand, there are plenty of HNGs who are just looking for erotica and those usually say things like "write a detailed example of the last time you were [insert sexual activity] and how you will serve me"

i am submissive.  i am not nor do i want to be equals with a Dom.  That doesn't mean i will serve any and every Dom/Master/Top but i see no harm in having the same attitude of respect here as i would have at a munch.  At a munch or event i would certainly not kneel or crawl to any and all Doms but i would be respectful without hesitation and would never behave as His or Her equal.  That's just my opinion.



toservez -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/8/2006 7:14:25 AM)

I have seen these types of profiles in the same context from both genders and roles. My opinion form my experience from seeing them pop up and viewing a profile of one who sent me a message of interest in me is that there are usually several reasons.

I think for most of the men I think it is them trying to show their dominance and to try to take control of a situation even before it has started. I think too many times it is a subconscious mind trick shortcut. To get the female to respond by questioning her willingness and dedication to being submissive, to I will show you I am real type thing. I think for females this is also in element but I think it has mostly has to do with becoming spoiled by all the attention we receive and this becomes some attempt to try to filter some of the interest.

I do think though that the underlying reason is simple frustration with a healthy dose of hubris. In the end it comes down to people who get tired of the online game letting their frustration leak out in a misplaced way. It is the, I am real and great and I am tired of people who are not so you need to prove from the start that you are real and sincere. It is the one way thought pattern that truly makes comments like that off putting.



Fawne -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/8/2006 8:22:59 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
I have noticed a few that state things like:
mail me what ur seeking, and tell me why I shuld consider u?


Well, with all respect:  I have noticed some people's ads consist of WHAT THEY DON"T WANT, rather than state what they DO want.

Then - they say little or nothing about who they are, what they expect, and the type they seek to meet. Also: not much said on what they have to offer or strong points and talents to share with someone special. 

Maybe these guys just want to know if there is a potential  connection and plain want more info?

Sincerely, fawne

PS: TY for reminding me (all of us)of the basics. I myself will try and do better. 



Fawne -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/8/2006 8:30:09 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou

quote:

ORIGINAL: NaiveTempest

Those profiles are probably the same "gentlemen" who email messages like "......I want to make you f*ck 5 guys...", "eat food off the floor", or "use and abuse you...write me back if you're interested!"
All I can think is, Wow, I'm really feeling your dominance....NOT!


and I'm still waiting for an answer [:@]

lol


Snork! heehee! That is funny, - naiveT. and also N.T.U.Y.
 
Ya know: no one has ever said "kneel bitch" to me - in person or online.
 
pretty please? [:D]
 
PS - NO. This will Not work online, "gentlemen".



mnottertail -> RE: Who is the hunter and who is the prey? (12/8/2006 8:39:18 AM)

For I am the Hunter!!!!!

The Hunter. (anybody remember that cartoon?)



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