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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 10:43:14 AM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

I am SO fucked on this thread.

Do we really need to know that you fancy a good gang bang?

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 10:49:25 AM

MisPandora

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Absolutely, Elegant. Someone who has taken the time to be detailed about their communication with me, who has bothered to spell check and try their best with presenting a grammatically-correct, understandable, cohesive message to me will get far more attention than some illiterate one-liner.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 10:50:06 AM

MasterFireMaam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant
Do you value the words of those folks who cannot express themselves clearly (clarity in train of thought not grammar and/or spelling)? Do you give serious consideration to the thoughts of people who often contradict themselves?

In all honesty, for me, this tends to be on an individual basis. Some people just have difficulty with being articulate. Some people can write a hell of a lot better than they can speak (I think this is true for me in some ways)...and vice versa. For me, I find that even those who don't do it well can have things of value to say/write. For example, there are presenters in the commnuty that I've enjoyed, but that really haven't presented the topic all that well; they're rather dry and monotone. But, each time, I've heard them say something and I've gone off on a tangent about it in my head for days. Usually, it's a great learning experience.

As for those who contradict themselves, sometimes this bothers me and sometimes it doesn't. Yes, I know that's hyprocritical and contraditory. I also don't really know how to control it. For example, I know a woman who interacts with the Female Dominnat society as a Dominant Female Supremacist...but who then goes home to serve her Male Supremacist Master as his devoted slave. Since she doesn't distinguish that one or the other is role playing, I am often left thinking, "WTF?" I don't understand that and it makes me angry (which tells me that I need to look at the issue). But, on the other hand, I've received very good relationship advice from people who would be well advised to follow their own damned advice (haven't we all?)! It's easier for me to have compassion in certain situations or at certain times than others. That bugs me, but I try to have compassion for myself. ;-)

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 12:04:41 PM

toservez

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Right or wrong is irrelevant. This medium requires you to communicate with the written word. Those who excel in this will have better experiences than those who do not. Did I dismiss people who might have been interesting to get to know but whose writing skills were questionable that I thought it would be too tough to communicate, yes. Did I dismiss people who had not the best grammar or misspelled word or two if I felt like we might fit, certainly not.

That being said I just know personally that effort was a huge deal for me. Spellcheckers and willingness to write on topics is not a factor of written communication skills as much as effort. I found most people use the poor writing skills as a shortcut or built in excuse for them to act, demand and treat people for their convenience.

The more effort I saw the more I would put up with.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 12:07:56 PM

crouchingtigress

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Also elegant, i often cant understand peoples posts and need them to be translated.....thank god for L.A.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 12:16:11 PM

LordODiscipline

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No -

I believe (and, correct me if I am wrong, Ron) -

He just wants to be "fucked"

Translating for Ron today is ~J

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

LOLOLOLOLOLOL,

I am SO fucked on this thread.

Ron
(hope I at least spelled it all right.)

Fucked on just this thread? grin I though you were fucked in general.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 12:31:15 PM

DreamWizardNJoy

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Is this the place where i can grumble and rant about those who cannot get it straight in their head that they are "Dominants" NOT "Dominates".

Actually, a friend and i laugh at those that have problems being genuine about the lifestyle for various reasons, and have taken to calling those wannabes "Dominates".

Just my lil peeve for the day...
joy, David Dream Wizards's dreamgirl

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 12:36:27 PM

cjenny

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     Your question hits bang on as to why I rarely post. It feels that every time someone posts without proper grammar and spelling that becomes the focus instead of the post itself. I was married to a dyslexic man who avoids the written word like the plague because he cannot spell and is embarrassed. I myself have problems with cognitive writing due to both illness and medication.
    It isn't always laziness, sometimes I am positive that I wrote something correctly only to find a day or two later that I realise I missed not just an occasional letter but actual words.
    That is why no matter how poorly someone types until I know why they type like that I will not discredit them in my mind.
    n yup sometimes when the meds hit i end up typing like this cuz its the only way i can get the words actually written. it sux, as an ex-english major and daughter of an english teacher but sometimes there isnt choice. id rather type badly than remain silent. i do love the beauty of language, sometimes it just cant be found inside my brain. it is intimidating here tho, always worrying about it.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 12:37:35 PM

ExSteelAgain

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Now, I'm going to have to look and find out who it is.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 1:05:05 PM

happypervert

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[fast reply]

Poor writing doesn't necessarily discredit somebody, though it may be difficult enough to follow that I won't bother trying to decipher it.

Saying stupid stuff often does discredit the writer. Elegant has quoted just a small bit of the stupid stuff from that particular poster, and he is quite ridiculous including giving a little lecture on the history of the leather community which turned into "just my opinion" when it was pointed out to be wrong. Amusing stuff!

Curiously, it seems that the folks who discredit themselves do so by trying to establish credibility by expounding on topics in which they are clearly clueless. I don't understand why it is so difficult for them to admit "I don't know" or just stay silent on such topics instead of talking a lot of bullshit that invites informed rebuttals, but I guess they just aren't smart enough to learn it is a self-defeating strategy.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 2:06:10 PM

cjklyn

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I think that you have to bear in mind that when people write comments on boards like this, they tend to write as they think. They don't go away, think about the topic, write a first draft. review it. Rewrite it. reread it, rewrite again and then post.. They write as they think. And most people can't type as fast as they think, so taht tends to interrupt the thought process. And in the end, often end up with a post that contradicts itself in some way, contains some bad grammar, or drifts from the point. Thats the nature of these boards. You have to make a judgment when reading on whether the contradictions are meaningful, and if you can still get value from wahts been said. If of course I read the same person giving diffeent opinions in different posts, thats something I'd be more likely to ignore.
As for spelling and grammar, I pay no attention to that at all. There are many people who's opinions I value, who can't spell and who have bad grammar. And there are people like me who spell perfectly, but type so quickly, you'll find my posts often have typing errors. So I pay little attention to those.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 2:22:42 PM

PONYSEEKER

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I simply have a horible time in general when it comes to forums....LOL

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 2:55:53 PM

marieToo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: cjklyn

I think that you have to bear in mind that when people write comments on boards like this, they tend to write as they think. They don't go away, think about the topic, write a first draft. review it. Rewrite it. reread it, rewrite again and then post.. They write as they think.

I would agree with this completely.

When I write in a forum such as this, apparently I do not separate my though processes well, or do not indicate what direction I'm going in, in a manner that most people understand . It's very difficult for me at times to accomplish this. I am one who writes and re-writes and proof reads and edits. lol. And it still doesn't always come across correctly.

I have found that when speaking with someone who 'speaks my language" this isnt a problem; theres just this 'flow' going on and the convo is effortless. But when typing to someone who processes differently than I do, it becomes a communication barrier.
Text is difficult without all the other senses....Some want to understand what Im saying, so they will ask, listen and respond to my further clarifications, and I to theirs...It can be a time consuming practice, but it can be worth it sometimes.

Then with other people....say...like this Mnottertail dude...Its best to just grunt and moan.

< Message edited by marieToo -- 12/6/2006 2:57:46 PM >

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 3:40:54 PM

LadyHugs

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Dear Elegant, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eyes I see--nobody is perfect, to include myself. Each individuals have flaws and quirks to them but, like a glass that has flaws or 'chips'; they have character, a history and or a story to tell.

That said, I put more focus on the intent of their post, not the grammar, spelling and composition. Some individuals in this lifestyle have never completed the middle ranks of public education and never completed high school. Some have other issues like ADD, Dyslexia, brain injury/illnesses/damage.

I find that those who discredit themselves do so, with no help from me and or any other.

Those who may appear to contradict themselves, often I see as those analyzing things as they unfold. At times a beginning of a particular thread/post takes turns that have different ways of seeing which invites more and or less focusing, as the new slant has a relationship or not on that thread. I also have maintained, in my mind's eyes that, should someone proffer something that could ammend my way of thinking and or change my belief and or operational protocols; doing so with 'why, where, when, how' and or what inspired the stance.

In my mind's eyes I see, the forums provide an opportunity to gain knowledge and or information. True, some might be formed by personal opinion, personal experiences and questions which provoke thought and or confirm what might already be known.

It goes back to the spirit of intent of an individual who presents through word and or orally, on the topics which are rendered.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 4:55:18 PM

strangefruit

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs
It goes back to the spirit of intent of an individual who presents through word and or orally, on the topics which are rendered.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

I couldn't agree more! And I wish I could have said it as eloquently as you did.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 5:01:00 PM

sub4hire

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

I've never had trouble following your train of thought sub4hire. And, even with the broken fingers your typos are not abundant.

Thank you but you aren't on this side of the computer watching me either. I go back and edit as I type. I used to type about 80 words per minute and most typo's used to be because my fingers worked faster than my brain.
Now my typo's are from my two fingers...ring and baby finger on my left hand.
Both broken from falling off of a ladder over a year ago. Doctor's just recently diagnosed the breaks. I guess nobody ever read any of the previous x-rays until now?
Anyway...the baby finger has 2 breaks and ring has 1. Both swollen and neither can straighten all the way out anymore. Both hurt when I use them too much. However both have healed and not in a good way since nobody diagnosed them.
I think I can accurately type about 30 words per minute now and that is still by me correcting as I type. I proofread as I type...and hardly ever do when finished. That is how I end up with typos.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 8:10:58 PM

adaddysgirl

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Elegant,

When i first joined the boards, i found some posters that due to poor punctuation, spelling, grammar, etc, i had absolutely no idea what they were trying to say. But then i saw others respond to them and i was like 'What the heck??? How do they know what they are saying???'

So i made more of an effort to really read those types of posts and as a general rule, if i can at least decipher them and the poster makes sense or seems knowledgable in what they are trying to say, then i don't find their presentation discrediting to them.

i will admit that good punctuation, spelling, etc is an easier read, and i do tend to appreciate that but in all honesty, i have seen some very well written posts that are discrediting to the poster regardless....so i guess i have to say that overall, the presentation does not mean as much to me as the actual content.

Now did that make any sense? LOL

DG

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 8:53:43 PM

MasterWilliam55

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Yes daddysgirl, it made sense to me.

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/6/2006 10:33:55 PM

patina

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I would like to thank Miss Pandora, and Lady Hugs for both recognizing that typos, puncuation, and other problems may be caused by things other than just lack of effort or willingness to take the time to correct mistakes. I have ADD/ADHD, Bi Polar, am Dyslexia, and have suffered a Major Stroke 12 yrs ago that has left me with only one hand that can type now. I can type one thing but it will say something entirely diff. Even in proofreading it still does not register. My brain circuits are glitchy now.

I imagine I have put out some really goofy posts at times then at others it will make sense. I am not asking for sympathy, just for understanding when my posts are read. I do the best I can do. As far as spellcheck, I clicked on it and was told I have to go to some other site to get the program. Then I had to download from another site. I refused to do so. I just check as best as I can.

There have been a few who have made fun of my post I just ignore their harshness as they are ignorant themselves.

If I got the names wrong I apologize I have big problems with names.

Patina

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RE: Can written presentation discredit a person? - 12/7/2006 2:37:29 AM

MissUnleaded

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Elegant

Do you value the words of those folks who cannot express themselves clearly (clarity in train of thought not grammar and/or spelling)? Do you give serious consideration to the thoughts of people who often contradict themselves?

...snip...

Spelling and grammatical errors are ok in an informal forum like this. Everyone makes them from time to time and as long as they don't make a post painful to read, it's fine with me.

There are some people who write in such a way that I find it very difficult to understand what they mean. Their writing is often disjointed and illogical. Sometimes they put words in a really strange order, don't use punctuation, or use it ... inappropriately like ... this... They might have long, run-on sentences or lengthy posts which aren't broken down into paragraphs. Personally I don't really care whether it's laziness, medication or dyslexia. When I see a post by a person who habitually does this, I just skip it. I would not humiliate them by calling them stupid or lazy or by asking them to proof read.

When someone contradicts him/herself frequently it's usually an indication that they are speaking from inexperience and ignorance, rather than growing as a person. It doesn't just happen in BDSM, either. I've seen people do it on sewing, music, gothic, science, political and money saving groups. For some reason people like to pretend they know or have more experience than they actually do. So usually when someone writes wildly contradictory posts then yes, I often take them much less seriously.

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