Grandstanding and Posturing

Grandstanding and Posturing (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

mistoferin -> Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 3:51:15 PM)
When I go to a munch I go there to co-mingle with like minded individuals, share thoughts and ideas, develop friendships and relax a bit. When I go to a play party I go there for pretty much all of the same reasons above with the added bonus of play. When I sign on to a message board I do so to share in thoughts and ideas, gain knowledge from those more(and even in some cases less) experience than myself. I also do so in the hopes that my thoughts and experiences may be helpful to others. I have sometimes witnessed at different functions that I have attended a fair amount of grandstanding and posturing. In recent days I have certainly seen a large share of that happening on the boards here also. I see no purpose for this whatsoever and I have to wonder what the motivations of the individuals involved could possibly be. Do they not realize that they portray themselves in a very negative light? Do they not realize that they alienate not only long standing participants but also perspective new folks just coming in? Personally, if I wanted to see that type of behavior I would tune in to the WWF or turn on the latest episode of Jerry Springer. I am glad that I am not brand new and trying to figure out if this was for me as certainly what I have seen recently would have scared me straight vanilla. I for one would like to see alot less grandstanding, posturing and downright obnoxious, antagonistic behavior. I mean we are all adults, are we not?

FangsNfeet -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 4:05:36 PM)
Some ppl like being nice. Others like being assholes. Then you have those who don't talk to you untill after you do something to prove yourself. I know there are other type of people but I'll keep it simple. What I'm basicly saying is that every group is going to have it's Good, Bad, and Ugly. Not everyone joins a group to be best buds with everyone and encourage more to join. They may not even participate in any charity events or never volunteer to help with a fetish night. They are just going to suck up all the fun they can get and never give anything back. Yet they'll tell everyone what to do and how to do it or just bitch all the time about how nothing works but never leave. These ppl are out there and it's up to you to figure out how much you can tolerate them. [image]local://upfiles/68772/620AE51D2CA540EDBC481963976F1886.jpg[/image]

BlkTallFullfig -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 4:14:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin In recent days I have certainly seen a large share of that happening on the boards here also. I see no purpose for this whatsoever and I have to wonder what the motivations of the individuals involved could possibly be. Personally, if I wanted to see that type of behavior I would tune in to the WWF or turn on the latest episode of Jerry Springer. I for one would like to see alot less grandstanding, posturing and downright obnoxious, antagonistic behavior. I mean we are all adults, are we not? You are absolutely right, it's childish/attention begging behavior... Where I've come up short is in ignoring that behavior (the proper way to deal with it), and I need to try that a lot more these days, since this behavior you describe is increasing here. M

NATI -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 4:25:18 PM)
quote: Where I've come up short is in ignoring that behavior (the proper way to deal with it), and I need to try that a lot more these days It stops real quick when the anticipated response never happens, doesn't it? I'm with you on that one. The best response is no response.

LordODiscipline -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 4:35:35 PM)
I can see several reasons for it: 1. They are trying to make themselves appear to be more than they are. 2. They are dealing with someone who insists on behaving poorly in and of themself. 3. They are flaming a**holes and are proving it. 4. They do not care what anyone thinks about them because they have nothing to prove. 5. They are having a bad day, week, year.... 6. They are tired of canned answers that require no more thought that a reading of Castlerealm, the Steel Door, or (fill in another sundry site). These are the reasons I can think of from the 'top of my head'. As for myself, I am a lot of 3, much of 4, some of 2 and a smattering of 6 in my repose. On a personal note - I also occasionally have a minor issue with people who snipe at others through third hand questions. It seem less than honest. ~J

mistoferin -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 4:43:57 PM)
quote: As for myself, I am a lot of 3, much of 4, some of 2 and a smattering of 6 in my repose. LOL....well at least you know who you are and are honest about it. That does count for something. My ex told me the day I met him that I really didn't want to have anything to do with him because he was an a**hole.....we lasted 11 years. You know what, he was right....He was. But at least I always knew exactly where I stood with him because he never sugar coated anything. I just didn't realize anyone could be so brutally honest about themselves.

FangsNfeet -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 4:57:57 PM)
Just one more thought. Let's remember that when out on your own time you aren't being paid to be nice nor mean. So what's there to gain when you just want to be yourself? I remember at one munch where I said "Excuse me" as I was passing by. The girl that I politely ask to move took it as me being a Submissive and proceeded to try and Top me. But I corrected her assumpting that Politeness means submission in a politely manner. Not everyone likes being nice all the time or mean all the time. I myself am ussally and Ass when I need to be but I will pick from time to time and others take it as me being rude every now and then.

sub4hire -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 6:01:46 PM)
How about they may think they are joking around and don't realize how other's are actually taking it? I usually give people the benefit of the doubt, until of course it even gets old for me. Of course I'm sure at times I've been just as guilty as they are.

RiotGirl -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 6:33:30 PM)
Access Denied

mistoferin -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 7:23:01 PM)
quote: Why should the pretend otherwise? RiotGirl it would seem that you and I are actually in agreement. That is exactly my point, why do they pretend to be something they are not. According to Webster's: Posture: to assume an artificial or pretended attitude Grandstand: to play or act so as to impress onlookers And according to your profile: Not interested in rude, obscene, attitude filled ppl. So you see, I think we are really on the same page, even if it didn't outwardly appear to be so.

domtimothy46176 -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 7:25:21 PM)
I'm one of those who comes here for stimulating and, hopefully, intelligent conversation. I don't, however, make the mistake of assuming everyone else is here for the same purpose. Those who have little or nothing of value to contribute generally make this known fairly quickly. I would think a newbie who had the intelligence to find her way here would be smart enough to figure out the difference between those who want to share and those who want to show their asses. Timothy

Tangwystal -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 7:31:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RiotGirl People are who they are. Why should the pretend otherwise? Its actually quite nice When I saw this response I said to myself this is a young person. Then I checked the profile and see 25. You are product of the society you were raised in, that is a fact. Why should they act otherwise? Because in polite society you do. I realize, however, that polite society died sometime in the me 80's. It does not change my sadness at it's passing. It does make me want to be a hermit tho. [:(]

pandoravampire -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/16/2005 11:25:25 PM)
Exactly what fangsnfeet said. and he's taught me more about tolerating people than most lol

Stern1960 -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/17/2005 4:52:17 AM)
These forums are an excellent way for those exploring this lifestyle to learn and exchange ideas. One idea repeated over and over is that with the raw power that is unleashed in the activites discussed here comes a strong measure of responsibility, and acceptance of the rules and standards set by mutual agreement. When someone highjacks a situation (here or in R/L), it is incumbent on everyone to take the action necessary to redirect that energy, by whatever means are required, regardless if the person is a "newbie" or the "leading poser on the internet". Those "in charge" must be trusted to do the correcting and the others must be sure they are not encouraging or contributing to the inappropriate behavior.

RiotGirl -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/17/2005 6:24:39 AM)
Access Denied

mistoferin -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/17/2005 6:36:46 AM)
quote: Are you implying i am rude, obscene and filled with attitude? Lol.....I am absolutely NOT implying that. When I read your profile I saw that we in fact do agree that we both have little use for rude, obscene and attitude filled people. I certainly did not mean to imply that you are one of them!

RiotGirl -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/17/2005 6:53:24 AM)
Access Denied

siamsa24 -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/17/2005 7:17:20 AM)
quote: Polite society died when us "young people" had to worry about surviving out there. Polite society died when we lost hope that it's actually a good world to live in. Polite society died when people forgot how to stand up for whats right. Polite society died when everyone looked the other way. Polite society died when fear was brough into the schools. Polite society died when you realise the cops are to fear. (cops? oh yeah the ones who are supposed to protect and uphold the law) Polite society died when the justice system became about money and not justice. i dont know when it died. i am not particularly a child of the 80's Would you like to know what i was doing in the 80's? i was trying to make sure my mother's life wasnt a complete disapointment, dogding my stepfather as much as i could, hiding out in my room when my mother was away, drowning in depression, and being as responsible as i could. During the 90's i went out and met the world. What a disapointment it was. Just like the 80's were you "older" generation cared more about being polite then giving a damn about us younger generation and forgeting that we will grow up too. It also died when children were expected to raise their siblings while their parent were incapable. When we were forced to "grow up" at the age of 12 or younger. When full searches, drug sniffing dogs, metal detectors, and security officers with guns were put into the public high schools. When we had to start working at the age of 14 because the high school was no longer providing books and the money sure wasn't going to come from the parents. I could go on and on. Assuming that young people are the cause of everything bad in society just makes me angry. It's one of the few things that will make me explode.

RiotGirl -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/17/2005 7:39:23 AM)
Access Denied

EmeraldSlave2 -> RE: Grandstanding and Posturing (2/17/2005 7:44:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mistoferin Do they not realize that they portray themselves in a very negative light? Do they not realize that they alienate not only long standing participants but also perspective new folks just coming in? I call those people "rock stars" because they act like they are ALL THAT, usually are play sluts (which isn't a bad thing, I'm one too I think), and have a cadre of adoring fans around them. Which is the issue- they wouldn't do it if people didn't fawn over them for it. But if you notice, their fawning crowd changes every 6 months or so. Eventually these people end up with more people disliking them than fawning, but that takes time and the person ends up confused about their behavior instead of realizing how they contributed to it. Until then, you leave them be, don't get into the drama, and enjoy what you can.

Page: [1] 2 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.046875