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Wolfspet -> RE: The End of Slavery (2/17/2005 6:28:50 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth
Permissive instead of Submissive
This slave proposes an end to the slave vs. sub debate once and for all. For more than one reason let’s just drop “slave” out of our vernacular and replace it with submissive. Those that previously identified as submissive will be referred to as “permissive”.
It appears that with regards to “consent”, submissive and permissive, might be similar, but the two words are not interchangeable.
Permit:
1. To allow the doing of (something); consent to: permit the sale of alcoholic beverages.
2. To grant consent or leave to (someone); authorize: permitted him to explain.
3. To afford opportunity or possibility for: weather that permits sailing.
Submit
1. To yield or surrender (oneself) to the will or authority of another.
2. To subject to a condition or process.
3. To commit (something) to the consideration or judgment of another.
4. To offer as a proposition or contention: I submit that the terms are entirely unreasonable.
as Master’s slave (whoops, submissive)she has yielded to His will and surrendered her life to His control, not a self defined list of do’s and don’ts. He is the authority over all the details. Her actions are constantly under His consideration and judgement. Permission retains a sense of “ownership” or control, submission does not. Even if one grants another permission to dominate them, when they continue to determine the circumstances, intensity, frequency and/or duration they are not submitting, they are permitting.
if one wants to explore the depths of their personality, it helps and at times is not easy to be brutally honest with oneself and precisely why so many trust and pay therapists to help them on their journey and buy up self-help books by the score---it can be a very difficult and confusing road. one might want to consider that they are much happier in a relationship when they realize that while being “permissive” of certain aspects of their life, relationship or sexuality they do not have to force themselves into a power exchange relationship that neither feels comfortable nor is practical just to fit someone else’s definition or out of a romantic view of slavery.
The only argument I have with your definitions is that it applies only to those whose focus on M/s is singular in their life.
Being that we embarked on theis lifestyle when it was still "underground" and the fact we are active in our cultural community, (which is Matriarchal), and the fact we had a family and did not want to foster gender bias in our children, we have developed our "own" standard .
Now does that mean I am any less enslaved to him? No far from it. It was when he encouraged me to exert and embrace the powers he gave me that I became more aware of how much I am enslaved.
Outsiders to our relationship may see what they percieve to be me "in control" at times, but is that control something that was allowed to me, or something I retained? Sometimes we wonder as well, lol.
IMO one of the hallmarks of a good Master is that they realize their own shortcomings, and will either allow or encourage the "slave" to take control in those areas in which the slave is better equipped.
Wolf is impulsive, he is well aware of the fact, so in some areas, it is required of me to basically look at him and say
"what the fuck are you nuts?"
A PE relationship is like the circut breaker in your home, without the main breaker being on (the PE) NOTHING works. But as long as the main breaker is running, all the other switches {protocols, S&M, behaviors} can be turned on and of at will.
I know many would not consider my relationsip a "pure M/s" one, and they are absolutely right.
But anyone who knows us also can say that while it may be sinnering under the surface, there is no doubt who the Owner & owned are.
Hey its worked for nearly 17 years, so I really don't care what the naysayers think. I tried the "purist" route, and it did not work for us.
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