FirmhandKY
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline
- - - I was wondering what book (not most influenced you, but) has had influence on you (as a dominant and/or a submissive) that was unusual in regard to it not being 'directly related' - but, that you found poignant to your life and how you live it as a dominant/submissive/switch/outlet.
Looking for a title, an author, and a reason -
Title: Looking Out for Number One
Author: Robert J. Ringer
Mass Market Paperback: 352 pages
Publisher: Fawcett; Reissue edition (September 12, 1985)
ISBN: 0449210103
Original Publication: 1977
TOC:
1. Looking Out For Number One
2. The Perspective Hurdle
3. The Reality Hurdle
4. The People Hurdle
5. The Crusade Hurdle
6. The Financial Hurdle
7. The Friendship Hurdle
8. The Love Hurdle
9. The Starting Line
Partial Amazon Review:
Reviewer: David H. Downing (West Chester/Exton, PA)
As others -- including Ringer himself -- have said, this is NOT a book about disregarding the rights and feelings of everyone but yourself. In fact, according to the principles presented in the book, such disregard is ultimately self-defeating. This book IS about having a realistic understanding of what motivates everyone including yourself. Like it or not, people want to make the best deal they can make for themselves -- which means if you believe everyone has a moral/ethical obligation to respond to your needs, you'll constantly be disappointed, frustrated, hurt, and a prime target for every con artist with swamp land to sell. How many people do you know who are bitter and angry over life not giving them a better deal -- but who have never given anybody any reason to offer them one? Conversely, if you go through life determined to show everyone how totally selfless you are, you'll also constantly be disappointed, frustrated, hurt, and a prime target for every con artist with swamp land to sell. How many people do you know who are bitter and angry over all the "totally unselfish" things they've done that have gone unrecognized and unrewarded -- and who might be better off and better liked if they'd acknowledge the hidden price tag?
Reason: I bought this book the year I got out of High School, and was one of my first introductions to concepts that I had observed but didn't have a coherent framework to hang it all together.
It's a book about philosophy, but isn't about philosophy. Very easy to read and comprehend, and funny as hell in places.
I think the biggest impact that it had on my life was the cold/slap-in-the-face realization that I was responsible for myself, my life, my relationship, my failures and my successes. For a young man who is interested in "being a dom", I think it gives a framework about individual responsibility that is simply hard to beat anywhere else, without being preachy or boring, or lost in a bunch of psychological mumbo-jumbo.
Ringer has several other books which I've not read, except for his famous "Winning Through Intimidation". I actually read it first, and it's a good lead up to the more complete "Looking Out For Number One", and gives you a good handle on how other people use intimidation, emotional blackmail and all those other "techniques".
A few Amazon extracts:
If you've ever found yourself coming out on the short end of the stick, you'll appreciate the rewards that can be yours when you take the initiative in every area of your life.... this ... explains in candid terms what intimidation is, why you become intimidated and how you can avoid the mental lapses that can cause you to fall victim to intimidation.
and
Imagine my surprise to find that "Winning Through Intimidation" (which is a misnomer, "Winning Through Not Letting Yourself GET Intimidated" is a more appropriate, if less colorful, title) is filled with great fundamental, common sense advice for anyone ...
and
Then along comes Robert Ringer with this classic book. Unlike all the other success books I have ever read, this book tells it like it is. Ringer points out in this book that whether you and I like it or not, the world of business is not played on a nursery school playground. It is played in a brutal jungle where the name of the game is to finish with the most chips (money) in your lap. You either accept this reality and play the game to win,or get out of the business game altogether.
Ringer also takes on the two cornerstones of most success books--"postitive thinking" and "working hard". Ringer's philosophy demolishes these two traditional theories.
If you're used to positive thinking, new-age, give and give to the other person and hope you're going to be paid in the end kind of book, then Winning Through Intimidation isn't for you. However, if you're tired of losing, buy this book and read it ten times.
Reason: This book opens up your eyes to how others will attempt (and often succeed) in manipulating you to get what they want. It gives you a framework to handle those people, and techniques to avoid being someone elses non-consenual "plaything".
Again, I think any young dom would benefit from learning these things.
quote:
ORIGINAL: LordODiscipline
- - - In the same regard, what schooling or training have you had which influenced your thinking in regard to who you 'are', how you perceive the world and deal with others and how you approach your place in a relationship.
Ranger School.
FirmKY
_____________________________
Some people are just idiots.
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