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RE: submissive mentor - 12/8/2006 6:41:00 AM

vield

Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
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Any person who is open minded, outgoing and who has skills you seek to know could potentially be a mentor to you. This does not mean they would, like everything this takes mutual consent.

I have mentored doms, swtches and subs male, female and transgendered.

In my definition it is NOT ethical for a mentor to form any connection deeper than platonic with the person they are guiding. I have turned down people who requested mentoring because I felt a deeper interest toward them than I consider correct for a mentor.

As usual your mileage may vary.

vield

(in reply to SirDiscipliner69)

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Post #: 21

RE: submissive mentor - 12/8/2006 6:42:13 AM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
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If by "mentoring" one means, advising, bouncing ideas off of, sharing experiences, concerns etc..Then i'm all for it. And do agree with general concensus that it's best done by like individuals. ie..Dominant mentoring Dominant, submissives mentoring submissives.

However for some reason, i tend to take the whole concept of "training" as a useless endeavor unless it's for a specific task that some one wants to learn. As others have said before me, All the "training in the world proves to be for naught if your eventual partners ideas and desires differ from those with whom you've "trained " under.

Just a thought...
peace

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Post #: 22

RE: submissive mentor - 12/8/2006 7:31:19 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

I don't consider it "formally mentoring," but I have befriended some subs who asked me for advice at times or have wanted to have an open dialogue with someone likewise oriented who has experienced similar things.

No, not formally...but you have Red and done a great job.

I think it's great for sub/slaves to talk to others that have done it a lot longer and that can offer experience and advice to someone new at it. I only wish I had known Red in the beginning and not after all of the bad stuff had already happened.

I have grown soooooo much in the last year and I have a lot of sub/slaves and a few Doms to be grateful to for their help. I know that I worked hard, but there were a lot of people there as an ear when I needed it.

I am the same now, I offer help when I can and advice. I am still growing and know that there is always more to learn though, and I do agree that, that makes me an even better mentor that I would be otherwise.

Kasha

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Post #: 23

RE: submissive mentor - 12/8/2006 8:54:11 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kisshou

Do you think one submissive/slave could mentor another? Or can a mentor only be someone who is more dominant?

If you are a sub/slave have you ever mentored someone else?

The person being mentored gets the others advice, wisdom and experience but what are they giving back?

I would really like to find somone to provide some mentoring for me but I feel it is wrong to ask someone for something and I would be willing to give in return but I don't know what I could give.

personally, with the way i view the lifestyle (D/s here more than bdsm), i think it's far more logical to have a Dominant as one's Mentor, regardless of one's position in the lifestyle. sure you can get advice and empathy from another sub or slave, but when it comes to guiding and all the other things that being a real Mentor entails, those to make take Dominant qualities.

i'm a slave so i've never mentored anyone. however my Master has mentored many submissives (including myself once upon a time), and several Dominants.

as to what the mentee gives back...well Mentor types find fulfillment in helping a newbie find their way, so to speak. they are very sincerely needed and appreciated, something many Dominants crave, and in addition they have someone who is forever grateful to them. also i know from observing my Master in his Mentoring that often questions or dilemmas posed by his mentees will send him into personal reflection and occasionally even revelation...it's the quest of neverending learning and growth, something we all need.

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RE: submissive mentor - 12/8/2006 9:49:24 PM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha

quote:

I don't consider it "formally mentoring," but I have befriended some subs who asked me for advice at times or have wanted to have an open dialogue with someone likewise oriented who has experienced similar things.

No, not formally...but you have Red and done a great job.

I think it's great for sub/slaves to talk to others that have done it a lot longer and that can offer experience and advice to someone new at it. I only wish I had known Red in the beginning and not after all of the bad stuff had already happened.

I have grown soooooo much in the last year and I have a lot of sub/slaves and a few Doms to be grateful to for their help. I know that I worked hard, but there were a lot of people there as an ear when I needed it.

I am the same now, I offer help when I can and advice. I am still growing and know that there is always more to learn though, and I do agree that, that makes me an even better mentor that I would be otherwise.

Kasha

Dearest Kasha,
you have humbled me to my core. Bless your heart. It's amazing the difference a year makes, isn't it? Or even six months? (about the time I met you on here.) You get to know people on here, get to know yourself a little better, maybe get some real time experience, come to find out what you like or don't like, all sorts of things. It's always good to find someone you can relate to, and I'm grateful for these boards and such to help make that happen.

~ "Red"

ps, Kasha... thank you again, for your kind words. =)

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Post #: 25