24/7 and financial security (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion



Message

whisperedsighs -> 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 8:15:24 PM)

I had someone ask me in an email if I could do 24/7 if he made sure I had nothing to worry about.  Now this may just be me, and granted I never see myself as a 24/7 slave, but how many submissives out there go into such a living situation.  I am talking not working during the day or earning a living. 

How many consider the fact that somewhere down the line the Dominant/Master may not be there.  That all of a sudden they may have to find a job after years of not working. 



DiurnalVampire -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 8:24:53 PM)

This has actually come up in my current situation. While we would like Angel to be able to at some point step out of the workforce and stay at home all the time, we know it isnt likely to happen any time soon. When it finally does, I a going to require him to keep his skills current through studying, as well as possibly doing some consulting type work from home. While we would both prefer the stay at home pet, realistically I might not be able to provide forever.  I am making sure he graduates and has a good job for now, and if we do get to a point where he can leave the workforce, it will be with a plan for semi-easy reentry later on.
I know not everyone thinks that far ahead necessarily, but I am a planner. I cant be happy if I dont have things planned out and know there are alternatives available.

DV



crouchingtigress -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 8:27:24 PM)

it sure looks good tho' dont it...."here sweetie, do a lil house wife stuff and be naked and slipperery all day long and never work...i will take care of you".......but read the fine print....theres always a catch....[;)]
 
 



whisperedsighs -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 8:33:18 PM)

I guess I am too much of a realist.  Either that or my parents instilled too much of the you can't count on anyone thing in me.  Doesn't help that I see that in most the partners my siblings have hooked up with. 

Is it a horribly greedy thing after all to say...."to be your 24/7 slave you have to give me X amount of money in a secure account in my name only?" 



MistressTexas -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 8:45:26 PM)

Well I suppose that depends how much you plan on asking for... $15,000 may come off as a touch greedy yes. But if you research average apartments, utilities etc etc etc and say.. I dunno (for instance) that he has to put up half the cost of 3 months expenses, (you'll put up the other half  hehe) and every year to two years (depending on the local economy), he will have to put an amount equal to the cost of inflation into the account, thereby maintaining the 3 months expense cost..... I don't see that as anything bad.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 8:52:02 PM)

I know one sub friend insisted that were they to go into a 24/7 stay at home position, whatever money she had at the time she was posessed had to remain hers.  Anything past that point that was gotten was community property, but her bank account was untouchable.  That was her only request from a Dominant that wanted her.  If they couldnt accept that, then she knew that it was a bad situation.  She was unwilling (and for good reason)   to give everything up.

Angel and I are going to have both our names on his bank accounts.  While I plan on controlling his money, I dont plan on using it for myself. More making sure he doesnt do anything stupid with it. 

DV



whisperedsighs -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 8:53:02 PM)

$15,000 would just about cover 3 months in my area, but not for long.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 8:53:05 PM)

We certainly have, and have continuous discussions about it.



alovelylady4U -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 9:58:38 PM)

In a nut shell: i would have been nuts to say yes..... what would you do if? Well let's say-
 
RE Developer lots of money.
For my complete surrender to Him any car i desire, any home i wish, vacations, insurance to cover me as well as other safety nets in case He dies.
i would lack nothing and need only be at His service a few hours eah day.
 
Deal breaker? What becomes of us when He no longer has any use for us? 
 
Money is a piece of paper, security is not gauranteed. But? beauty fades- money is attractive no matter how old. In a word "Next!" 
 
Second? The first signs of worry is when a Person begins to remove you from your friends, then family, a way to earn money and thus a way to "escape.". The more you sink into this realm of "helplessness?" the more power He holds? Does anyone else see where this thought may be headed? Always have a plan B!  Some of the worst wife beater's are some of the most respected men in society?  
 
God knows i may be wrong and reading it from an odd angle. The Man i am speaking of  not only does not know love - i believe He may not even really care for or respect women. (i know hard to explain) True it could be the most wonderful life or the worst nightmare.  i did not do it. And am curious also How many would?  And without the benefits of marriage thus no rights nor protection at all really? 



Rayne58 -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 11:32:38 PM)

One of my hard limits is giving financial control to someone else.  I am a firm believer in having access to money - who knows what may happen in the future. 

That granted, I do not work outside the home.  I am Master's carer and as such receive a pension from the government.  He is on disability and will never be able to work again.  I also have a substantial amount of money from my divorce.  He has always said that money is mine and He doesn't want anything to do with it.  I do our accounts and pay our bills, He has given me His PIN number so when He isn't feeling well I can get money out for Him.  I always keep the receipt and show it to Him but He hardly ever looks at it.

I am a qualified teacher aide and am computer literate, have worked for a short time in an office and from my time in caring for Master I have become interested in nursing and already have skills in that regard.  I am looking into doing a nurse's aide course or perhaps an enrolled nurse course. 

My mother, although not a sub, never worked after she married my father.  He took care of everything - she got an allowance for the household shopping and that was it.  When he became ill and was unable to look after things, she had to have a crash course in cheque writing, using an ATM card and balancing a chequebook.  It was so very hard for her, though thanks to a wonderful woman at the bank she manages everything now that my father has passed on.  I refuse to let myself get in that position.



HarryVanWinkle -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/9/2006 11:47:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs
Is it a horribly greedy thing after all to say...."to be your 24/7 slave you have to give me X amount of money in a secure account in my name only?" 


I don't think that's a horribly greedy thing to say, although I could think of a better way to say it.  Something along the lines of "If I'm going to be your 24/7 slave, you will have to see to my financial security."

I don't see it as a matter of greed.  I see it as survival instinct and security.  How would you feel secure as a 24/7, no outside work slave unless you knew of a certainty that should your Owner kick you out, die, or in some other way end the relationship you would not wind out homeless and destitute?



DOM68005 -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 12:10:26 AM)

I have yet to attain 24/7.
I had a sub who at one time was terrible with her funds. I did not take over, but I did offer advice and promote getting her financial house in order.  We were "an item" for over a year.
One drawback occurred. When we went on a cross-country trip to a D/s event in a rental car, she needed a credit card to be authorized as a secondary driver. I obtained a credit card in her name as an authorized user much as a husband would for his wife in the vanilla world. Several months later, I received a credit card solicitation in her name at my mailing address. We never lived in the same county. As a result of her improved credit which included payment history on my card, she was able to get into a credit union and obtain her own credit card.
The ONLY time that I accepted funds from her was a contribution toward the expenses of the cross-country trip. It was her request. I spent that much toward her and more. To be honest, her contribution made the trip more comfortable as we were able to stay in better hotels. I also was able to purchase items at the D/s event that we would never have been able to budget otherwise.
One such item was a leather corset that she treasured for a couple of years. I think she finally wore it out.

=====================
Last year, I was in email and IM chat with a candidate asking for 24/7 Dom/slave relationship.  At the time, it was not practical for me due to vanilla world obligations.  I made the point that she would have to work and be responsible for her own finances.  She worked for a well known company in her home town in a job title that the same company often advertised as an open position in our metro area.  If she lived in my home, she could save much of her funds or paid down any credit debt, but I would have insisted on financial responsibility.  The main benefit of having her work would have been the employer provided benefits such as health insurance.  The candidate stated she thought it generous to allow her to keep any part of her earnings.  Another concern for me was she expected to be rented out.  I am NOT a pimp.  Anyone who obtains 24/7 in my life would be treasured too much for anything like that.



diamonddreamlove -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 1:40:11 AM)

Financial security is no guarantee in the vanilla world either should a spouse die or tire of you.  Had a premuptial that would take care of that in the event of divorce and life insurance with me listed as beneficiary should he die.  I collected the life insurance this year.  Have not done a lot of work outside the house due to health reasons for a few years my social security benefits end for me next year when my child turns 16.  Then I will either have myself prepared to return to the work force in a position I can do or try to maintain financially at a decreased rate.



blmtrsne -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 3:50:32 AM)

Financial domination is one thing, and is where I don't want to go because I don't need to: my slave is my husband who offered himself to me when we were already married. I am the head of the household and decide when and whether I by something.But as I'm lucky to have a real slave (registered at www.slaveregister.com 000-733-561 since before the renumbering ) , I put out the question on the net "How do I make this slave to have a Femdom-future when I die before him?" Of course there is the question wether this slave will be usefull, but for the time being I found a new Mistress for him afther my death. In this way he is not lost for the lifestile. I think it's some kind of reponsability. I'll post a new thread about this. Just my 5 cents.



wandersalone -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 4:42:58 AM)

This is an issue not only in bdsm relationships but in the wider community also. I talk with lots of women and men who looked after their kids for many years and did not work and for whatever reason, they now are having to find a job to support themselves.  This can be a frightening experience for someone who has not worked in many years and finds that their skills are now out-dated.  If you do decide to become a part of a 24/7 relationship, discuss ways in which you can continue to learn and grow as a person, do some courses that will be relevent to you in the future should you find a time when you need to return to work.



SusanofO -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 5:07:09 AM)

I understand what people are saying here about keeping one's skills updated, etc., if one needs to find work after having been out of the job market for years.

But - I think consideration of the situation depends on whether we are referring to just a job (almost any job, maybe), or a profession. I'm going to be the "Devil's Advocate" for a moment, and say...If I had to do it, I know I could go get a job right now, (today!) at a place like McDonald's. And if I had to, I could get another part-time job on top of that, to supplement my income from the McDonald's job, if that wasn't enough to pay the bills. I wouldn't love doing it, but it would pay the bills.

Of course, I'd rather not have to be in that position, but it wouldn't be the end of my world, either, if it kept me from starving. There are scads of these jobs in my hometown paper. And also low-level clerical jobs (and, in combination, they actually do pay enough for someone to live on in my hometown, and possibly in other medium-sized towns across the nation as well).

And also some slightly higher-salary-level jobs I know are out there are relatively easy to get (just take a little longer to land, maybe). I know "costs of living" vary - but, there is such a thing as getting a room-mate, clipping coupons, etc. I've done it. Didn't love it, but considered it temporary and eventually found a much better job.

I've also been homeless (over twenty-five years ago, for a few weeks, I lived at a shelter). At the homeless shelter, you had exactly three weeks (they enforced this deadline, too) to "get your act together", find a job, an apartment, etc. - if you were "able-bodied". So I did. My room-mates were other gals from the shelter (we all managed to find work at the same restaurant, too, and the apartment complex manager worked with us, as far as the security deposit. So did the utility company).   

Is this an "attractive option"? No. But - I do have to wonder just how "out on the street" some would actually be if faced w/this situation. If I had to, I am certain I could get a job tomorrow (just not the job I'd prefer, probably).  

I do understand not wanting to be in that situation, though, and see that keeping one's skills updated is a smart thing to consider doing.

The idea of having money put aside for "if things don't work out" (from either the Dom, or just doing it yourself, if you've got the funds) strikes me as very sensible also. Heck, becoming financially savvy sounds like a good idea (having a savings account with a hefty nest egg, some investments, etc).

Good topic.

- Susan



NINASHARP -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 5:22:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

I had someone ask me in an email if I could do 24/7 if he made sure I had nothing to worry about.  Now this may just be me, and granted I never see myself as a 24/7 slave, but how many submissives out there go into such a living situation.  I am talking not working during the day or earning a living. 

How many consider the fact that somewhere down the line the Dominant/Master may not be there.  That all of a sudden they may have to find a job after years of not working. 


When I think of financial security, I think of future as well as present security. Like having a nest egg to put away for when I am too old or if I get ill and can't work. I don't want to rely on anyone to be there just in case I get sick or too old to be in the workforce. I think if you do not have some special legalities in place in a serious live in relationship, then it will do a disservice to both or all involved if either Dom/sub does not work. If you make enough money thats fine to retire early. The question is when is it enough if you look back over ten years and haven't paid into any retirement or social security (not that SS will be around, but if it is?) If you are 60 and only started working at 35 or 40 will you have enough at 70?  In either type of caretaking relationship, is it responsible to ask someone to give up their financial future for them? Especially since very few relationships last regardless of flavor.



LaTigresse -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 5:36:22 AM)

I echo what Nina said.

It's not just about survival immediately after the split but all that would be lost during the years in the relationship. I am 44 years old, if a sub/slave my age with very little current finances went into a 24/7 relationship for several years, lets say 10-15 and then BAM! the dominant decided to trade him/her in for a new model. If that sub/slave had not worked for those 10-15 years, had not had a substancial nest egg coming in that had earned 6 figure interest they are SCREWED.

I am 44 add, 10 -15 years on to that. Potential health issues, no individually owned home, no retirement income?!?! If you are putting yourself in this situation I hope you like shithole apartments and catfood cuz that may very well be the facts of life.



SusanofO -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 5:43:13 AM)

Well, I do agree w/LaTigresse. I would not relish the idea of completely "starting over" from scratch (but I could if I had to do it. I have much stronger "survival skills", I've learned, through the years, than I'd ever have credited myself with having, had certain things not have happened in my life). I do think women in general wouldn't hurt themselves by becoming more financially savvy in general.

I know some are financially savvy, but personally, I knew nothing about investments or even handling finances beyond paying bills before my husband died, didn't particularly want to know any more about it, and have (truly) not particularly enjoyed learning more about it (it's kind of "dry" stuff), but consider it a "horrible necessity" (some people like financial data, and working with it, a lot. Just not my "cup of tea". I hate dealing with finances in general).  

But - you don't have to be a millionaire to invest (ask Suze Orman, the female financial guru. She was a waitress before she was a "financial guru"). I own almost all of her tapes and videos now. I bought them in "self-defense".

I still don't feel particularly comfortable making financial decisions - but I don't have much choice (and kind of like it that I can - I never knew I could. It's not as complex as I thought it might be).Of course, I am not out to make tons of money, or become the next Donald Trump, either. I just don't like being in situations where somebody could tell me X was happening, and I wouldn't be able to tell if that were true or not, as far as money goes (unless I trusted someone, literally, with my life). I think a  little paranoia can be a good thing. For a few months, my goal was simply to be able to decipher some mysterious bank statements. 

- Susan



ScooterTrash -> RE: 24/7 and financial security (12/10/2006 5:47:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: whisperedsighs

I had someone ask me in an email if I could do 24/7 if he made sure I had nothing to worry about.  Now this may just be me, and granted I never see myself as a 24/7 slave, but how many submissives out there go into such a living situation.  I am talking not working during the day or earning a living. 

How many consider the fact that somewhere down the line the Dominant/Master may not be there.  That all of a sudden they may have to find a job after years of not working. 
This would be different than a 24/7 housewife, how? We're not rich, but comfortable, and I fail to see how a slave/sub could serve if they were working full time. No, obviously ours don't work outside the home to add funds to the household. Granted, situations alter cases and this may not be a plausible plan for many, but I certainly don't see not having them not work as being detrimental, quite the contrary, if you can do it. Certainly provisions should be made to take care of the future, financially, but of course this should be taken into consideration whether you are supporting someone or not. It was however pointed out to me (by twicehappy) that the biggest difference was that the sub/slave has no "legal" entitlements in the case of a breakup....that is probably the biggest difference that I see and certainly is a good point.



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875