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Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 3:35:23 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		Hello everyone,

I really have not posted on these in the past but I am looking to see if there are people out there who know what I'm talking about and this seemed to be a good way to possibly reach a large pool of diverse people.

I am a heterosexual female dom and by partner is a heterosexual male sub. Neither of us desire to be transgendered or to do anything physically to change our bodies (like hormones or surgery.) Yet both of us have long felt that we "should have been born" the opposite sex, or that we posess the mind of the opposite inside the body of what we are. Yes, we both feel this way, but no, it doesn't disrupt our daily lives or keep us from functioning happily the way we are. It's just that when we met and got together, these opposite sides were made even more apparent as we started to realize that our relationship is not just D/s in nature but rather I have taken on the more masculine roles and him the feminine. This is very different in my opinion from a D/s relationship with a traditional mistress or female dom. And to make it even more complicated, the roles that we feel most comfortable in have evolved into Daddy/girl. It's not as much about ageplay as just the mentality of him being a young girl and me being an authority figure. He doesn't want to go back to diapers or dress like a 6 year old, he just wants to be able to relish his innocence and naivety. I'm curious to hear from anyone who has a Daddy/girl or Mommy/boy relationship (or Daddy/boy or Mommy/girl for that matter.) But I would REALLY like to know if anyone is familiar with this when the gender of the individuals is opposite of what the title implies. Thanks!
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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 3:39:56 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Absolutely.  Go enjoy yourselves.

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(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 3:50:49 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		Lol...don't worry, we are enjoying ourselves immensely and have no plans on stopping, it's just such a new place for me that I have to go out and look for more info and seek similar people. Of all the titles I have tried on in the past 2 years, none has felt more "me" than daddy. In fact, I refused to take a label or title because none of them felt true to myself. It's just sort of blowing my mind to have had such a revelation about my identity.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 4:10:23 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline 		Me, it would give a headache. But I remember a straight couple that their friends said he should tend to the knitting and she should go out in the snow and chop the wood.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 4:34:02 PM   
jamesthehumanrug


Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline 		dear domina smart azzz,
go ahead be flexible, or.....you'd never have found each other!

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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 4:49:14 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		The core issue is the gender identification. Native Americans have, in the past, believed that there are four sexes, not two. In modern times, it' s becoming once more prevalent for people understand that biological sex and gender are two different things. I recommend the book Two Spirit People. I also recommend finding the transgendered community in your area. Look up the GLBT in the nearest large city...they most often exist on College campuses.

There are others who are like you, they just might be hard to find. I highly recommend going to national leather events (such as SWLC in Jan). You'll meet a wide variety of people there and are much more likely to run into people such as yourselves rather than on a primarily het site, as wonderful as it is, such as collarme.

Master Fire


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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 5:41:29 PM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Native Americans have, in the past, believed that there are four sexes, not two.


Umm, as part American Indian (don't use 'indigenous native American'), could you specify the particular tribe? I'm not familiar with that belief.

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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 5:45:43 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Compared to some of the stuff you see around here, it sounds downright Mom and Apple Pie normal.

If it's a question of insecurity in the new role, I'd say it's probably just anxiety over trying something new and 'deviant.'  After a few weeks, it'll probably wear off and you'll be buying rulers, suits, and a school desk - with your hubby in pigtails, candy stripe socks, and a lollypop.

Either way, it doesn't sound like anything's wrong here.


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"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 6:05:59 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		Does my original post suggest that I feel like there is anything wrong? There is absolutely nothing wrong and neither of us believe that we are being especially deviant. All I was hoping to find were some people who could say "hey, yeah, I've heard of this before." instead of confused looks.

As for your response, MasterFireMaam, I appreciate your great advice. We have spoken before in the past, you may recall (or not?) and in fact, I have already been deeply involved in the local leather community which is primarily a gay male one. I recently attended my first leather weekend event here in Florida and the next thing I'm doing is MAL in january. I will be unable to make it to Southwest, as far as I can tell, but I'm desparately hoping to attend Southplains in feb. There's just way too many to go to! I am a member of a group up for a pantheon award in Chicago too, so that's one I really should get to...all I can say is I need to get one of those airline credit cards for the free flights.

The leather community is going to be my best resource for information here but the problem is that my local one is really all gay male. I have yet to meet a leatherwoman of any variety, though they have to be around...I'd think. The men have been great role models for me and perhaps it's my immersion in the culture that makes it so easy for me to see myself as a Daddy, BUT my mentors have told me that I should seek out leatherwomen and leathergirls to talk to on this matter because their experience (they feel) is limited to what they know firsthand. As much as I can apply everything I know from them and about them to my own situation I really would like to find someone in the same boat as me with whom to relate. As for the issue of gender identity, I'm only confused in that I don't think I'm confused...does that make any sense? I know I'm female and a woman and I would not change that even if I could. I have no desire. Yet the daddy is certainly a side of me that exists. I find that ok, it doesn't bother me and I don't feel like I have a gender identity "issue" But now I'm wondering if I should be more confused than I am, lol.

Thanks for listening.

(in reply to Voltare)
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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 6:54:06 PM   
Voltare


Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline 		Erm, I got the (obviously mistaken) impression you were looking for a bit of affirmation?  Chalk it up to us misreading the tone - sorry!


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"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 7:03:43 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Well, DominaSmartass, I am FINALLY not alone. Angel and I are in the same situation, more or less.  I am Mommy, he is my baby girl more often than not.  I am used to being the only one on here who seems to identify with that situation, since the majority is Daddy/girl.

Feel free to message me on the other side, we can share notes

DV

_____________________________

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VampiresLair

(in reply to Voltare)
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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/10/2006 7:27:51 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline 		Been there, done that, got the leather t-shirt.  You're not alone by any means.

If it floats your respective boats, by all means go there.  I greatly enjoy topping as Daddy Sir, though I define myself as a male as strictly gay with occasional exceptions made for girls who are either not genetically female or not presenting as female.  When I identify and present as female I am heterosexual.  Though given my degree of genderbending I should probably identify as "heteroflexible".   

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/11/2006 12:03:02 AM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I'm very curious, are you *the* Daddy Sir I have heard about?

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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/11/2006 9:39:50 AM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

I'm very curious, are you *the* Daddy Sir I have heard about?


Why yes....  *preens in leather chaps and silly little studded leather hat*  of course I am THE Daddy Sir. 

Actually I don't use titles outside of a consensual D/s relationship, so the only people who have ever called me that aren't usually doing so in public.  I wasn't aware that there was a specific individual with this moniker.  I'm sure there would be some confusion if you yelled "Daddy Sir" at any large leather event and about sixteen heads turned.  

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Daddy/girl relationship with gender reversal - 12/11/2006 10:23:16 AM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		Hehe,

well, there is someone in particular who goes by Daddy Sir but she is from Seattle, I believe, so I don't think you are her. I asked my girl because she has mentioned meeting Daddy Sir before at an event. My first reaction to seeing the name was to go, whoa, could it be?

(in reply to Najakcharmer)
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