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just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 9:39:22 AM

slo18

Posts: 125
Status: offline

last night my Dom was flogging me, and my eyes started tear up, no trying yet then my nose started to run and I said yellow our meduim safe word it means cheak in with me, I thought that he was striking to hard to early and repeadedly in the same place so I asked him to lighten up and informed him that he was focuses a bit much on one cheak, he went back to flogging me for a while then in between strikes started to play a bit further south with his free hand. and i just burst out crying. my emitions were all foobared. emotionaly I was very confused I felt like angry and hurt in a bad way not a fun way. I reded out, and he stoped and took care of me, but I couldent explan my emotions to him.it still bothers me that i cant pin point the reson, or find the words to express exactly how feel. has this ever happened to any of u, and if so how have u delt with with. and for Dom's, Domme's, Masters, and Mistresses how do u deal with similer situations with your submissives or slaves?

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if god and the adorer call, tell them my prophet shall call their prophet, for I am in meetings verily till the end of time.

Post #: 1

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 9:41:55 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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The big go looses like this take several days to sort out, forget it for a couple three days, a week, then examine this, it will be more sensible, and should be discussed.

Ron

(I don't know any quick answer, just that big chemicals make big waves on the water, K?)

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to slo18)

Post #: 2

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 9:43:11 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Scenes are not rational, you can and should expect lots of emotional releases and outbursts during scenes, sometimes for no other reason than your motor is running really hot and high and your body needs an outlet for it all.

You may be coming to a place of conflict within yourself and scenes and learning the difference between how you experience bottoming and how you experience submitting in a scene. Or you may just have been on a particular day of your period and hit a switch that will never be hit again.

Try not to agonize so much over not knowing why it happened on this occasion. As long as you and your dom are communicating over it and open about it, the why will take care of itself in time. Continue to scene and explore and see where it takes you.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to slo18)

Post #: 3

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 11:15:48 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

Cathartic experiences are often hard to understand. For me, as LA says, there is a difference between bottoming and submission and they lead to very, very different head spaces. Submission, for me right now, is a pretty negative headspace; bottoming is just fun. Ron gives good advice, too...set it aside for a bit, then come back to it. For me, the negative headspace comes from feeling objectified. It took me a week to figure that out.

Master Fire

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The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
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(in reply to slo18)

Post #: 4

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 11:19:54 AM

MmakeMme

Posts: 682
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NC
Status: offline

If you aren't in the habit of meditating, it wouldn't be a bad idea to start. It can help me get to the core issues in a lot of confusing situations.

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Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. ~~ Dalai Lama

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Post #: 5

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 11:23:28 AM

hmmmmnbird

Posts: 51
Joined: 1/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slo18

... but I couldent explan my emotions to him.it still bothers me that i cant pin point the reson, or find the words to express exactly how feel. has this ever happened to any of u, and if so how have u delt with with. and for Dom's, Domme's, Masters, and Mistresses how do u deal with similer situations with your submissives or slaves?

It happens (or used to, pre menopause) to me all the time, not just when scening. There were many days when I thought I was really going crazy because I would just cry and get totally emotionally for no identifiable reason. Then I would get my period the next day. P M S
That may or may not be what's going on with you. I think all the other explanations are good too, and the advice to not stress over it too much. You may never know what triggered it, but you can move on.

(in reply to slo18)

Post #: 6

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 11:38:37 AM

Voltare

Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline

The heart of the matter's already been posted.

Sometimes (no matter how much we wish otherwise) there's no method to the madness. There's not always anything rational about scenes, nor 'what we do.' How you feel is very important. If you don't know why you feel that way, it deserves some thought. If you still can't figure it out, than chalk it up to feelings and move on. If it happens all the time, and interferes with your day to day life, maybe then you should seek some professional guidance.

Stephan

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"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche

(in reply to hmmmmnbird)

Post #: 7

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 12:32:20 PM

Siona

Posts: 242
Joined: 10/5/2006
Status: offline

I've had that happen 2ce so far.
First time it kinda freaked me out.
There really wasn't much of a build up with the feeling of wanting to cry before the tears started flowing.
Naturally, the flogging stopped immediately. That'd never happened to him before and I couldn't understand where in the hell it came from.
Next time it happened, the flogging continued..the longer it continued the harder I cried. The flogging eventually stopped.
I'm still unsure why that happened, unless, it was a venue for deeply buried emotions to flood through.

I must warn you, intense flogging in and around the spine WILL cause injuries!!
Intense,continuous flogging in one area repeatedly will causes deep tissue bruising. May also cause the muscles to form hard knots.

(in reply to Voltare)

Post #: 8

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 6:44:46 PM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

I cry sometimes during play for different reasons. Give a few days and look back on it. Sometimes play is very emotional and I do not always cry for the same reason.

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Post #: 9

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/11/2006 8:21:43 PM

syreena

Posts: 36
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

slo18:

There could be many reasons for your outburst - some have already been listed here. It could also have been that the energy of your body was not flowing correctly. It could have been your mental status going into the scene. It could have been a physical problem in your body. It could have been that your Master released a memory and your body felt that memory.

The important thing is to discuss this with your Master, even if you don't know what it is but get the feelings discussed. Sometimes (and here's a shocker) you just have a bad scene. The important thing is to relax and enjoy the next scene if you concentrate on a bad scene it may cause the next one to even go bad. Another thing you may need to discuss with your Master is a change of play for a while to let your body relax. Please feel free to contact me if you need to discuss this further.

(in reply to slo18)

Post #: 10

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/12/2006 7:44:21 PM

slo18

Posts: 125
Status: offline

thank you all for yourin put on the topic. I have put it from my mind for now with the plans of looking at it again this weekend or perhaps sometime next week.
MmakeMme: i do meditate though not regularly, I think its a habit i should get back into.
Stehpan: I dont like the idea of accepting that my emtions at that moment had no real cause that I can figure out. I know that that might be the case but that doesnt mean I have to like it.

Sonia: thank u for the warning though in this case it isnt nessasary, my Dom is well practiced and knows where to aim and where not to aim ( though sometimes he might miss it doesnt happen often) and that night he seemed totaly focused on my butt

again thank u all for responding

_____________________________

if god and the adorer call, tell them my prophet shall call their prophet, for I am in meetings verily till the end of time.

(in reply to syreena)

Post #: 11

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/14/2006 7:20:39 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

A couple of times when I've had weird reactions, it turned out later that I was getting sick. I may not have any signs while incubating a cold virus but it will show up in my reactions.

(in reply to slo18)

Post #: 12

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/14/2006 10:31:22 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

i've had all sorts or reactions and none of them for any reason at all. Once when my Dom was biting my clit - i went demonic on him. I think i offered to cut his heart out and castrate him and some really wierd voice. Not that i really remember what i said. He was not pleased. He's done it several times and that was the only time that that had ever happend. It just popped out. <shrugs>

stuff like this will run you through a gauntlet of emotions. I've gone from angry, to crying, to absolutetly serene. I've cried from being bitten and not cried when skin has broken. Sometimes.. it also depends on where you are during your monthly cycle.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

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Post #: 13

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/15/2006 8:35:15 AM

afeathr

Posts: 248
Joined: 6/1/2006
From: Southern California
Status: offline

I had something similar happen, but it was related to a punishment. A couple months ago Sir got upset with something I said and gently slapped me on the face. I was kneeling in front of him and bent over my knees and started bawling my head off! I couldn't (and still can't) for the life of me figure out why that was such a horrible thing to me at the moment (normally, I am pretty stoic about punishment - and I rarely cry in front of others), but I just lost it. When He asked me what was the problem, I started babbling about this and that and every little thing that was bothering me (including porn viewing and female form worship, etc) and He was completely taken aback - though truthfully so was I.

The point is, sometimes things build up that we don't realize and a particular act will send you over the edge. Trying to discuss it at the time may prove to be more confusing than helpful, but you do have to deal with it. Strong emotions mean something and should be dealt with.

_____________________________

afeathr

-Going where the wind blows me...

(in reply to slo18)

Post #: 14

RE: just a bitty bit confused. - 12/15/2006 5:36:17 PM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

When He asked me what was the problem, I started babbling about this and that and every little thing that was bothering me (including porn viewing and female form worship, etc) and He was completely taken aback - though truthfully so was I.

Just a theroy, I call these emotional zits. Lots of little things irritate and individually aren't a problem but when they build up together and you get that release it all comes tumbling out.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to afeathr)

Post #: 15

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