Question About Roles

Question About Roles (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive

Message

MaryT -> Question About Roles (12/11/2006 11:35:10 AM)
I am corresponding with a man I like a great deal and plan to meet up with in the next week or so. He is yummy in correspondence. What concerns me is that he will not step out of role. We can/do/have talk about anything, but he is open and adamant in saying that it is important to him to keep the "master/daddy" aura going. He is more mainstream master at heart but I'm a daddy's girl, so he's indulging me. He is having a blast with it, and he's good at it, but a few folks have warned me that it is not a good sign if he will not step out of role. Well, he wont. Any thoughts on this?

hmmmmnbird -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 11:44:51 AM)
I would talk to him more about this. Many people don't consider being a Dominant/Daddy/ Master, or submissive/slave/little girl (or whatever labels you want to use), a "role" that they can switch on and off. It is who they identify as, 24/7. It sounds like he is one of those people. As someone who wants a Daddy, not a Master, I would advise you to be cautious in getting involved with this man who "is more a maintstream master.. but he is indulging me". Of course, everybody's experiences are different, but for us, resentments built up on both sides because we could meet each others expectations. Good luck to you.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 11:51:26 AM)
I'm afraid I don't really know what you're talking about- and this probably related to the confusion of what you are meaning by the word "role." Regardless of any of the "role" issues which will assuredly come in the following posts- what exactly do you want and expect from him? What of this is he not providing? Have you communicated this to him? No matter what "role" means to you- the issue here is in communication and meeting eachothers needs. You're also letting too many chefs in your kitchen here- this is YOUR relationship, YOU decide where it's going and whether it serves who you are.

gretchenS -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 12:07:47 PM)
I'm Daddy's little girl because that's the way I am and feel towards Him, and specifically Him. As hmmmmnbird said, I don't consider it a role, it's all part of the dynamic between us. We feel that way all the time, and our relationship is not on-line. If you don't feel like his little girl and you need to make it clear that you might consider it a role to play more than a dynamic, maybe you are not meant to be with this man. I don't see this as being dangerous is just the way he feels with you. Explain your point of view on this to him, and wait for feedback.

SlaveAkasha -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 12:07:53 PM)
I can only assume by your post that you mean "role" as in he won't just talk about "normal' interests, maybe it's always "yes, Daddy (Sir..etc)" or things along that line. I am not much for this, I mean you have to live life outside of the "roles" at some point and it's good to know if you connect with someone on that basis alone. I do agree that you will find many opinions that differ, so the best thing is to talk about this to him and not rush into anything. I am not sure how long you two have been talking, but know there are plenty of options out there that will be matched to what you are looking for. Good luck in making your choice, Kasha

MasterFireMaam -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 12:08:22 PM)
If you're wanting to role play, meaning to take on a persona for a limited amount of time, you need to be honest about this. It's a perfectly valid thing to do. I could role play being a submissive...did it for years in two different marriages, so I can do it well. But, it's really not me in my heart and soul. Perhaps being a Daddy is simply such a part of him that he can't tell where Daddy ends and he begins...nor should he have to. Sit and write about when you do and don't want a Daddy. Under which circumstances is it ok and under which is it not? Are you willing to be in the role 24/7 in order to have a relationship with him? That's an important question because you have to decide what you are willing to give up in order to save the relationship. If you give up too much, you're selling yourself in a negative way. Master Fire

Voltare -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 12:13:07 PM)
Your role concerns will evaporate or solidify within about thirty minutes of meeting him real time. It can be easy to 'play' a role behind a keyboard, and people often confess their dark feelings through IM/email/whatever. If he seems interesting enough for you to want to meet him real life, let that impression (and the resulting feelings you have for him) be the guide - not your friends, or your fears for a cyber relationship. It's a bit like trying to imagine what kind of wedding you'll have with a man, based on your first date with him. You'll get a shadow, but nothing substantial or realistic.

hmmmmnbird -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 2:15:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: hmmmmnbird I would talk to him more about this. Many people don't consider being a Dominant/Daddy/ Master, or submissive/slave/little girl (or whatever labels you want to use), a "role" that they can switch on and off. It is who they identify as, 24/7. It sounds like he is one of those people. As someone who wants a Daddy, not a Master, I would advise you to be cautious in getting involved with this man who "is more a maintstream master.. but he is indulging me". Of course, everybody's experiences are different, but for us, resentments built up on both sides because we could NOT meet each others expectations. Good luck to you. Just reread my earlier post and realized a significant word "NOT" was omitted., so I reposted. Not to derail the thread, but why isn't there an edit option on my first post?

MaryT -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 2:25:05 PM)
Thanks everyone. I think it is who really is and wants to be. It's very easy sink into little girl mode with him - it's difficult to resist. I think you are right, Lucky Albatross, "You're also letting too many chefs in your kitchen here ..." My concern is based upon other people's ideas and were not my gut-level response to him. I'm not concerned about dealing with it 24/7. We are hundreds of miles apart - for the time being anyway. Thanks everyone for your responses.

Denny17 -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 6:31:30 PM)
he's taking it into 24/7 then..... even if you aint doing anything physical......he still is taking it 24.7.

Kalira -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 7:19:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryT I am corresponding with a man I like a great deal and plan to meet up with in the next week or so. He is yummy in correspondence. What concerns me is that he will not step out of role. We can/do/have talk about anything, but he is open and adamant in saying that it is important to him to keep the "master/daddy" aura going. He is more mainstream master at heart but I'm a daddy's girl, so he's indulging me. He is having a blast with it, and he's good at it, but a few folks have warned me that it is not a good sign if he will not step out of role. Well, he wont. Any thoughts on this? Am I the only one who is confused about this? From what you say; he's only indulging you in the 'daddy' role, yet you are upset because you think he's taking it too far? /scratches head in confusion

MaryT -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 7:52:17 PM)
I will be visiting him in the next week or so. I travel a lot and there is a good chance we could see each other frequently. But I've no desire to leave my life here, and he has no desire to take over my life or anything of the kind. He just refuses to be anything but Daddy when relating to me. Does that answer your question, Denny? Kalira, I'm not upset. I've never done this before. I can't get him, charm him, etc., to be anything but Daddy. That makes me swoony, and it makes me nervous.

Lordandmaster -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 7:56:26 PM)
My thought is that if I were this man, and saw this thread you started, I wouldn't want to meet you anymore. quote: ORIGINAL: MaryT Any thoughts on this?

babysburnin -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 8:14:09 PM)
When I first met Him, I experienced the same worries. He steps out-of-role, and back-into-roll all of the time ... to my delight and to the benefit of our friendship and relationship. Wait and see what develops.

MaryT -> RE: Question About Roles (12/11/2006 8:37:04 PM)
Well L & M, I doubt the man I am speaking of would care to read and advise in forum designed for submissives - a safe place where they can speak to each other. Thanks for sharing your opinion anyway. It confirms certain ideas of mine and makes my Daddy look all the more appealing to me. [:)]

talyn_ -> RE: Question About Roles (12/14/2006 8:02:47 PM)
I don't see it as a matter of "roles" persay. I feel that a submissive and a Dominant can have a real heart to heart conversation, without changing the way that they communicate with each other. I am a lifestyle submissive, i am submissive in almost all aspects of my life, and the Mistress who i have been exploring with lately is also lifestyle. When i am with Her, there is never any point in time where i am not submissive, or when She is not dominant. I will always refer to Her with the respect and title that She deserves, and She always makes me feel safe talking about what needs to be discussed. There is no turning on or off of the dynamics of the relationship; and things seem to flow nicely.

ownedgirlie -> RE: Question About Roles (12/14/2006 8:41:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MaryT Well L & M, I doubt the man I am speaking of would care to read and advise in forum designed for submissives - a safe place where they can speak to each other. Actually...none of these forums are exclusive. They are topic oriented, so the submissive forum tends to ask about submissive related stuff, but it does not bar anyone else from entering and commenting. All the forums are public forums, where everyone is free to post. That being said, my Master is always my Master and does not step out of "role" because this is who he is. Perhaps this man you are speaking to is being who he is. The question is, if so, can you accept that? Do you want him to change to suit you? I agree with what's been said - talk to him about it.

Page: [1]

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.03125