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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 5:40:48 PM

kyraofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: denika

For the most part I do agree in the need to crawl before you walk but for some that duration is shorter than others.

*eg* One person's crawl is another person's run.

I think a lot of people thought that you and I were a little nuts the first time they saw us play with him. Who am I kidding, they probably still think we are nuts!

btw, I heard that Rob liked the little "cheese server" that he picked up in Florida lol

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 6:34:59 PM

gypsygrl

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From: new york state
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I don't really have fantasies about pain in the sense that I imagine a scenario where someone's doing something to cause me physical pain and enjoy that idea. If anything, when I imagine such a scenario, I hate it.

But, I do have extreme cravings for pain and always have, especially in my back. The thought of my back being cut to ribbons or even stabbed is the most frequent one, though its not one I'd ever want to make good on. Its kind of a love/ hate thing. The need/craving is there, but I'm sure that craving outstrips my ability to handle pain, since most of what I imagine would be fatal. In actual practice, I'm usually satisfied with being hit on my back, and that takes care of the craving, at least for a time. Mostly, because its rare that there's someone around to hit me, I just live with the cravings.

My ability to handle pain depends on a lot of things, mostly intangible. If I feel close to someone in a loving sense, I have a hard time with them causing me serious pain because of the sense of betrayal involved and that makes it hurt more. I'm like, don't say you love me in one moment and then hurt me in the next. The idea of a "loving sadist" is an oxymoron to me, though I understand that it makes sense and works for others.

I do like to sense that the person causing the pain is serious about what they do, and takes an almost craftsperson's approach to it. If they don't take pride in their "work" its hard for me to trust and respect them with my body.

Also, some parts of my body are more sensitive than others and this changes depending on how much practice they've been given. My back is the least sensitive and my nipples the most. I hated the first time I recieved a spanking, and didn't think I would ever like it, but over time, spanking and paddling has been added to my list of cravings.

Its complicated, and I could go on for a long time going into intricate detail about this stuff. But, I really don't find it surprising that you can't take as much pain as you've fantasised about. If you're satisified with a a little bit, just take a little bit. When you find yourself wanting more, take more. As others have said, go slow.

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 6:51:23 PM

alandraofMists

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As some have responded to your post, it can take time to work up to what your fantasy is....

just this last weekend my Lord used a toy on me that i have been wanting to try and waiting to try for three years....

the toy *eg* a length of 3/4 inch link metal chain about 2.5 feet in length.... after He had played some, he started using the chain by folding it over in His hand and punching my back with it, then after a bit He started flogging my back and ass with the chain.

i was humming with pleasure.... thinking about it... if He would have used it on me when i saw it being in use that first time i do not think i could have handled it and it would have ruined the fantasy i had of it.

some times fantasies need time to grow and the person with the fantasy needs to grow too.

Knight's alandra

P.S. it leaves lovely bruises *ss*

< Message edited by alandraofMists -- 12/12/2006 6:53:25 PM >

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 6:58:16 PM

Daddysredhead

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From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
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quote:

ORIGINAL: akisha

Actually i found my fantasies of pain were actually on a lower scale then i actually liked once i started playing with more pain then just sensation. LOL no where near the scale that denika is talking about, but with more experiences and trust in my partner, I'm finding my desire for heavier pain is increasing. The way things are going and the more i'm learning about my body and responses I suspect I'm more of a pain slut then i ever thought I'd be. The more i see and learn by watching others has really increased my desire to experience more as well.

Same goes double for me...

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 7:08:50 PM

Missokyst

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I have met quite a number of people who were drawn to pain. The fantasy is romantic, exotic, erotic, sensual, and sensational. The reality can be something quite a bit different unless you are bent in that direction.
Yes, a person can almost always adapt to varying degrees of pain. But the eroticism of it, is something that not everyone is prone to develop.
Many of the people I knew, are either no longer engaging in bdsm. Or, they have learned to adapt to pain without feeling aroused by it.
Most of the maso's I know experimented with pain in their developing years because they felt aroused by the idea of pain.
Count me among the latter.
Kyst

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pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 7:25:00 PM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: alandraofMists

i was humming with pleasure.... thinking about it... if He would have used it on me when i saw it being in use that first time i do not think i could have handled it and it would have ruined the fantasy i had of it.

some times fantasies need time to grow and the person with the fantasy needs to grow too.

Knight's alandra

P.S. it leaves lovely bruises *ss*

First... my girl underestimates what she could of taken and always will I suspect.

It was never my opinion to not use the chain because she couldn't of handle it... it was really a question of letting the dreaming and the fantazing mature and grow. Like a fine Wine... you could open it earlier and enjoy a good wine.... but sometimes you just need to resist and let it mature to it's fullest potential. Rushing ahead sometimes is just not the right thing to do. But, sometimes it the prefect thing to do.

Many like at play from a pure physical matter.... for me the play starts in the mind... wrapped that up with the emotions and then explore those in the physical realm.

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 7:58:06 PM

SweetSarijane

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Wow Alandra! That sounds wonderful <smile>.

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 9:07:44 PM

akisha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetSarijane

Wow Alandra! That sounds wonderful <smile>.

It was pretty amazing too see too, tho it did get a few umm concerned looks lol

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/12/2006 9:29:53 PM

syreena

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quote:

so agree with you here! But for me, i had NO fantasies of pain;listed all forms as hard limits. But it took a Master with insight to see that what i was running from was what i needed to face to release my inner demons and break down my walls. So, like you syrena, it is a very spiritual aspect of our sessions and a major release. What is a surprise to me though is that while i do not feel sexually aroused during a pain session, my body tells a different story - now THAT is a mind-fuck to me ~

quote:

ORIGINAL: syreena

i must agree with Master Fire Ma'am and then reiterate by saying baby steps. Can you, whom has never felt the sting of a whip take a full fledged whipping? Probably not without serious consequences. Also you will find as you grow on your path that at times you will be able to handle things differently sometimes better than others. As far as "dealing with it emotionally" everyone does that differently and every scene is different - for me the pain itself is a release. Sometimes i assign the pain with each strike and sometimes i take it in to remind myself of my strength [after all when my supervisor is giving me a hard time he doesn't do it with a whip - somehow it makes things go very much into perspective]. During a scene i open my hands to let it go and show my submission as i stand without chains and become the cross for the scene - don't try that on your first scene by the way. The energy released and taken in a scene is very spiritual and your body will respond to that energy exchange.

Beleive it or not pain was a hard limit for me too dawntreader and like you my Master took what He saw and used it to make me stronger. Yes it is a mind fuck to realize your body does that.

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/13/2006 12:08:26 AM

denika

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Hi kyra,
oooh yes, he loves the cheese server..... He has been eyeing the extra peice of faux marble counter we have in the garage. What the heck are you guys doing to him?!

How true is that, I think nuts is a polite term for what a few think, but sometimes I wonder tho how much of the judgment that gets tossed our way is a dose of " Me thinks they doth protest to much" especially when you see them emmulating the same very same type of play they freaked over.

denika

< Message edited by denika -- 12/13/2006 12:10:35 AM >

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RE: Fantasies of Pain - 12/13/2006 11:33:36 AM

proudsub

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There was a time when i thought pain, no way would i want that. Then when i had an online dom he had me try a few things and i quickly became a pain slut. You might start with some self-inflicted experiences, like clothes pins on your nips, or a bit of tooth paste on the clit or ben gay on your ass, all of which got me hooked on pain. I still fantacize about more intense experiences and will continue to do so.

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