Voltare -> RE: Safewords - Use them? (12/13/2006 12:11:57 PM)
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Altina, That's almost exactly how I feel. I don't play casually in public (or private.) On the rare occasion that I play with someone I'm not familiar with, I use a light touch. When I went through a BDSM chat phase, I remember this subject coming up now and then. Universally, anyone who suggested they didn't use safe words were attacked like piranha on a cow. Pretending safe words are the answer is like 'Duck and Cover' in a volcanic eruption. Either there's communication, or there isn't. With gretchen, we communicate. I take a moment now and then to ask her how she's doing. I don't 'break character' and I don't always believe her answers. I watch the amount of red on her skin, the way she's reacting, and when she's complaining too much, I back off. "Too much" is obviously subjective, but being aware of the damage one can do, I don't hit anywhere hard enough to cause real damage. I err on the side of caution, as much as I can (considering there's risk in everything we do.) Sure, one day I might go too far. I might not notice a sign, or I might slip when I'm swinging. I don't think a safeword will prevent that. Blind adherence to a bizzare word is only as good as the person swinging, and the person being swung at. Disclaimer: this technique is not intended to be used by anybody. Don't use at anyone's risk.
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