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teachmetobeg -> RE: Fishing for....insults?? (2/26/2005 11:24:06 PM)
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nikita,
Without reading any of the messages, i would like to offer a sort of explination as to WHY you may be experiencing this. Many times when people are put down by someone they love, they feel more compelled to "make it better somehow." Perhaps subconciously, by being called ugly/fat/fill in the blank, and being able to satisfy the One you are with, you feel more accepted. Like it might be OK to be who you are.
There are some healing techniques. While i have not found counseling to be very effective for me, meditation and Reiki have proven to be lifesavers. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions or need recommendations.
i understand a bit of what you are going through. It took me a long time to ever look at myself as pretty, or to even take a compliment from somebody. i was always put down as a child. When someone calls me stupid now, i feel as though i have an obligation to prove them wrong.
One thing i will never forget is the last time i walked out of my mother's house she told me that i was nothing but a whore and no one would love me except for when i spread my legs. That hurt more than i think anything else that was ever said to me. Now, however, when Sir asks me if i am his slut/whore i smile inside. In fact, it turns me on in ways i can not describe. Go Figure!
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