Voltare
Posts: 841
Joined: 1/1/2004
From: Santiago, Chile
Status: offline
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Similar threads exist, obviously, but after reading the Rude Subs thread (and remembering a dozen others) I thought I would jot a few suggestions. They're from my own experiences, and are only as valuable as the reader finds them to be. Additions and opinions, as always, are welcome!
1. Be Friendly!
This should go without saying, and people choose to use personals because they -want- to make friends. Some are hoping that it will turn into more, others are here out of boredom, but whatever the case, people come online to interact with others. Be friendly, and you really improve your chances.
2. Use the Message Boards!
I can't relate the number of emails I've received from kind people just on the basis of the things I write. I'm certainly not the most prolific, nor the most intelligent or eloquant poster here, but posting in message boards gives people a chance to see into the person you are, instead of just a collection of stats, pictures, and a quick introduction on your profile. I believe that real friends, not just cyber chat buddies, can be made by making a few posts. It doesn't take much time, and can be a lot more fruitful then trying to send 1000 custom emails.
3. Don't be afraid to write!
If you see a profile that perks your interest, even if they aren't exactly seeking you, don't be afraid to write (unless the profile specifically states not to, i.e. 'no men' usually means male emails will be immediately deleted.) At the same time, don't expect everyone to respond. The more time and thought you put into an email, the better the chances, but even the best writer might only expect half (or less) of their emails to be responded to.
4. Be patient!
People sometimes read emails, but being at work or in a hurry, do not respond right away. I know I have taken up to a month to get back to people, and while it is rude - it's part of life. Dinner, friends, children, work, etc all take precedence over a website for most people.
5. Be real!
Lying always, always destroys your credibility. If I catch someone I have been interested in lying, even a small lie (fake photos are the worst for me), I lose faith in everything about them. After almost a year interacting online with a woman, I learned that she was actually 10 years older then she had told me (42 instead of 32.) While it would not have been a big deal had she told me up front, a good half of the rest of her life became fabrications to hide the fact that her age was not as she said. It also lead to her consistantly putting off meeting real time, first by weeks, then by months, with even more and more hard to believe stories. The short, is don't lie and don't tolerate people who do.
6. Don't get obsessed!
The immediacy that the internet provides is the perfect ingredent to fuel internet obsession. If you only look online, you'll find what started as a desire for a casual friend or playmate locally could turn into a full blown obsession seeking people from other countries, and rather losing a sense of yourself. Going to real life munches, and continuing to date vanilla people with similar interests will, usually, give better results then any internet personals site.
This list is not comprehensive, obviously, but it's a good start.
Stephan
_____________________________
http://www.vv3b.com/
"There is always some madness in love, but there is always some reason in madness." - F. Nietzsche
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