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a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:07:06 AM

amlonging

Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

I was reading another forum board and this sentence spoke up big time....
"Not really sure what slave does not put their Owners gratifications of any nature above their own.
If the slave enjoys the situation at the same time..then it's a bonus."
I have read many submissives and esp slave profiles that read...
"I want...."
"I need..."
and go on with a list of things they demand.
Since when does a slave do this?

_____________________________

BEHIND EVERY GREAT WOMAN...
...is a butt she can learn to love.

Post #: 1

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:13:15 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

everyone has needs and wants, even slaves, that's only natural. however "demands" are something else entirely, and no i would not call that a submissive quality much less a quality found in a potential slave. there are some who just find their kink/turn-on in having the title of slave, but it's truly not who they are. these are the types who may have a list a mile long of demands and hoops that any potential Master must first jump through before being allowed the privilege of their attentions. these people are not submissives, will never be slaves, and are basically just playing games.

< Message edited by daddysprop247 -- 12/14/2006 9:42:45 AM >

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 2

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:20:18 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

Just because someone is a slave doesn't mean they don't have wants and needs anymore. I always put Master above myself, but that doesn't change the fact that I am human and have needs also.

Before one is owned, they have their own ideas of what they are looking for (ie:want, need) and won't settle for less. I had the same type of profile and was very free to express what I was looking for as is anyone that is looking. I had many tell me the "way it would be" because they were the great Dom and I was "just a slave". That I lost all choice and all rights to desires now that I was talking to a "Dom", I kindly informed them that we probably weren't a match and we both moved on.

That kind of control over someones life is earned in many ways. With my Master it was earned by my respect in him and his word. It was earned by me knowing and trusting he would treat me as he said. Now, I am very much a slave with no rights and I happily put him above me. If I ever think otherwise, I talk to Master about it and he either addresses my concerns or puts me right back in my place..lol..sometimes both.

Before I was collared to Master, we both talked about everything and I knew my place in our relationship. That doesn't mean ours is the ideal for everyone, but it makes us very happy.

If someone doesn't belong to you, they have every right to "demand" what they want in a relationship and heck, even after if the Master and slave say that's the way it is for them.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 3

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:21:24 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline

I'm not a slave, I'm a submissive my my 2 cents will probably not be much here in this thread.

I do agree that some people of the submission persuasion do demand too much at times. However, if you are seeing "I want" and "I need" in a profile of an unowned and unattached submissive than I think it's fine. She has not agreed to submit to anyone yet. I'm sure that most of them do put their Dom/Masters Desires way above their own, but without knowing what her new Master or Dom would want, the only thing she has to write about is herself. Her wants and needs. I'm sure they don't mean to come off as demanding.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 4

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:24:53 AM

toservez

Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline

Depends what the needs and wants are, but we slaves are human beings and not programmable robots. We have needs, interest and wants in life and knowing what they are and expressing them can help finding a happy and compatible relationship.

If someone is calling themselves a slave but insists on having to live in a mansion on a beach with a man who has six pack abs and a huge penis then the person may or may not be a slave but certainly has limited her chance to find someone and in her life if she is purely judging her happiness in getting that type of situation is quite sad. But if someone calling themselves a slave and expresses a need for things like to feel safe, attracted to a general type of a person, certain fetishes that they really respond to and things that are critical to human beings in all walks of life to finding that special someone then it should be a plus that they can express themselves.

As I said before we are not robots. It takes a lot more in life to be happy and fulfilled then just calling anybody Master. If we were that simple, we all would be still with our first boyfriend or girlfriend.

_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 5

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:26:05 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

these are the types who may have a list a mile long of demands and hoops that any potential Master must first jump through before being allowed to privilege of their attentions. these people are not submissives, will never be slaves, and are basically just playing games.

I must say that I totally agreed with you up to this point. Just because someone has "demands" as it's put, doesn't mean they aren't submissive or a slave. I had these "demands", but they were there because I had been burned so many times, that I know knew what the right type of relationship was for me. I am very submissive, I am very much a slave, but like so many times it's been pointed out the last few days, we are all in different relationships with our Masters. Not one of have the perfect M/s one above the others.

Just because someone is shared with a million others, or made to bleed, doesn't mean they are a "better slave" than someone that doesn't want that and listed it as a "demand" when they were looking. We all have different dynamics and while I do repspect their place to have it that way, I ask that those of us that don't aren't called "players" when we expect different things.

A slave is a slave, a sub is a sub..sometimes one can change to be the other...but we all live our lives in a different way, not one better, nor one worse.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 6

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:33:37 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

Being a slave is a need to me. I do not agree with demends though. Master's needs and wants come before my own. I get gratification in that, which is also a need for me. We practice TPE and my limits are Master's. I do not demand anything from him. I am allowed to express myself with concerns and needs but his decision is the final on it. I agree with daddysprop on her post and opinion on needs and demands.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 7

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:41:33 AM

aSlavesLife

Posts: 347
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline

I don't think I could have expressed my opinion on this matter more eloquently than did daddysprop247. My toy expresses the same sentiment.

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 8

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:49:04 AM

MasterFireMaam

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amlonging
Since when does a slave do this?

Since the time they became a slave that didn't suit what you are looking for. There are many ways to do this...and many options about the transfer of authority. Some are perfectly happy allowing thier slaves leeway. Others are not. Simply pass by the ones who don't match you.

Master Fire

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 9

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 9:59:29 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

Since we agreed that informed and uncoerced consent was an important principle to live by.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 10:05:03 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

I agree once someone is owned, the "game" changes..but it seems the OP is talking about peoples profiles. No one is owned by anyone yet, so they can want, need, or demand what they want.

If you belong to someone, it's a totally different story. (or perhaps not, depending on the dynamic)

Kasha

< Message edited by SlaveAkasha -- 12/14/2006 10:06:53 AM >

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to sweetnurseBBW)

Post #: 11

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 10:13:57 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

Should I ever become a single woman again (*knocks on wood*) my profile would state that I'm a submissive, that I'm open to negotiations of being your slave and my little list of what I want. I want a dom who wants children and they must realize that they will always come first to me. I want a dom who respects and loves me as a Aqua, otherwise I cannot be their little whore. And I need a dom who understands that I'm a gamer geek so they need to be able to understand when I geek out over various games and expansions. Gamer dominants/masters preferred.

Every sub/slave has things she wants from a relationship or the relationship won't happen. There is nothing wrong with listing that. For example, in my case, if a dominant didn't want to have children, then they could see very quickly that they aren't the dom for me and move on.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 12

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 10:39:35 AM

daddysprop247

Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

these are the types who may have a list a mile long of demands and hoops that any potential Master must first jump through before being allowed to privilege of their attentions. these people are not submissives, will never be slaves, and are basically just playing games.

I must say that I totally agreed with you up to this point. Just because someone has "demands" as it's put, doesn't mean they aren't submissive or a slave. I had these "demands", but they were there because I had been burned so many times, that I know knew what the right type of relationship was for me. I am very submissive, I am very much a slave, but like so many times it's been pointed out the last few days, we are all in different relationships with our Masters. Not one of have the perfect M/s one above the others.

Just because someone is shared with a million others, or made to bleed, doesn't mean they are a "better slave" than someone that doesn't want that and listed it as a "demand" when they were looking. We all have different dynamics and while I do repspect their place to have it that way, I ask that those of us that don't aren't called "players" when we expect different things.

A slave is a slave, a sub is a sub..sometimes one can change to be the other...but we all live our lives in a different way, not one better, nor one worse.

Kasha

nowhere did i mention or imply anything about one type of slave being any better or worse than the other. different Masters require different things of their property, that goes without saying.

my point was really regarding personality. a person who is either naturally submissive OR who yearns to be a slave, is not the sort of person who is going to be "demanding" anything. making clear their needs and desires? sure. but outright demanding things of people? that's just not a submissive or slave-to-be like quality.

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 13

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 11:13:58 AM

starshineowned

Posts: 1551
Joined: 4/19/2005
From: Texas
Status: offline

Greetings..~smiles~

A person can I want, I need, I demand, I desire, I etc. etc. etc. all the live long day but unless there is someone out there that agree's to those I's..they are pretty meaningless in any sense of fulfilment.

Some coming into places such as this are only given so many options to best describe themselves as they would want to be (or think they want to be) within a dynamic. Some new and not really sure what it is they really need in order to fill that void so they put what they think. Others not so new, been around the block, burnt, and even sadly jaded at times will have no needs to quibble over what it takes to fill that void.

Communication is key, and it has to start somewhere. Dialogue at some point will ensue from either end, and either they click or they do not. I know that Master when speaking with other slaves will outright ask these things from them to determine if he is able to fill that void..if it's truely a pertinent thing for the slave, and mostly does this slave fit into his wants, needs, demands after having them explain in more detail.

A owned slave need not want for anything other than to be pleasing. If they have chosen well..then everything else will generally fall into place by the owners hand and will. It is actually a perk in my eyes as a slave to have no burden of worrying beyond being found pleasing.

I do find that often it is easier on the system overall if things such as I want or need are listed as I like these things..I don't like these things..I am not really sure about these things to make a decision about.

Well Wishes
starshine
Happy slave of Master Delvin

< Message edited by starshineowned -- 12/14/2006 11:17:40 AM >

_____________________________

"And in the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." --Abraham Lincoln

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 14

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 11:15:22 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

"Not really sure what slave does not put their Owners gratifications of any nature above their own.
If the slave enjoys the situation at the same time..then it's a bonus."

I have read many submissives and esp slave profiles that read...
"I want...."
"I need..."
and go on with a list of things they demand.
Since when does a slave do this?
How about if i said I WANT and NEED my owners gratification of any nature to be above my own?
Would that make my WANTS and NEEDS acceptable?

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 15

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 11:33:45 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

Hello All,
As in any relationship there has to be a common thread or common bond that makes them desire to be with someone first.
sub/slaves mirror the desires of those they serve.
To lay out who you are and what's important to you in my mind is a benefit to a Dom who's seeking a slave/sub.
If you have issues in a person having wants and need to be discussed before they could venture into a relationship that makes no sense to me at all.
For me it's a case of finding one who elicits a submissive response in me.
For this to happen a man has to possess certain lifestyle choices that mirror the things that I value in my life for me to comfortably be able to submit to him and mirror his life in all my actions and choices.
Being on the same page with someone is essential in my opinion to have that be a healthy and beneficial relationship for either party.
Just because someone is sub/slave does not mean the first Dom that comes along should expect to win her full devotion just based on the fact he wants it without being someone the sub chooses to submit her self to.
If you're going to give the control of your life over to someone they indeed should know what you feel is necessary for you to be happy and whole.
suzanne

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 16

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 11:34:27 AM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

these are the types who may have a list a mile long of demands and hoops that any potential Master must first jump through before being allowed to privilege of their attentions. these people are not submissives, will never be slaves, and are basically just playing games.

I must say that I totally agreed with you up to this point. Just because someone has "demands" as it's put, doesn't mean they aren't submissive or a slave. I had these "demands", but they were there because I had been burned so many times, that I know knew what the right type of relationship was for me. I am very submissive, I am very much a slave, but like so many times it's been pointed out the last few days, we are all in different relationships with our Masters. Not one of have the perfect M/s one above the others.

Just because someone is shared with a million others, or made to bleed, doesn't mean they are a "better slave" than someone that doesn't want that and listed it as a "demand" when they were looking. We all have different dynamics and while I do repspect their place to have it that way, I ask that those of us that don't aren't called "players" when we expect different things.

A slave is a slave, a sub is a sub..sometimes one can change to be the other...but we all live our lives in a different way, not one better, nor one worse.

Kasha

nowhere did i mention or imply anything about one type of slave being any better or worse than the other. different Masters require different things of their property, that goes without saying.

my point was really regarding personality. a person who is either naturally submissive OR who yearns to be a slave, is not the sort of person who is going to be "demanding" anything. making clear their needs and desires? sure. but outright demanding things of people? that's just not a submissive or slave-to-be like quality.

I will agree with that to a point. I think that to some needing and wanting if you are a sub/slave is demanding. I am not sure why that is the case, but I have noticed a lot. A Dom will say that a sub/slave is being demanding, but then then you find out it's just them making their wants/needs known.

I don't feel like I demanded anything in my old profile. I did make my wants, standards, and needs known. I was told by some this was not slave-like at all. I feel it is just being human and knowing what you want out of your life. Yet some have the idea that a sub/slave shouldn't have a clue, they should need a good Dom to put them on the good path..blah, blah.

The OP seemed to be talking about profiles, that's what I was referring to. You can't tell if someone is a sub/slave or a player by them making their wants, needs, demands..whatever..known in their profile.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 17

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 4:01:53 PM

amlonging

Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

these are the types who may have a list a mile long of demands and hoops that any potential Master must first jump through before being allowed to privilege of their attentions. these people are not submissives, will never be slaves, and are basically just playing games.

I must say that I totally agreed with you up to this point. Just because someone has "demands" as it's put, doesn't mean they aren't submissive or a slave. I had these "demands", but they were there because I had been burned so many times, that I know knew what the right type of relationship was for me. I am very submissive, I am very much a slave, but like so many times it's been pointed out the last few days, we are all in different relationships with our Masters. Not one of have the perfect M/s one above the others.

Just because someone is shared with a million others, or made to bleed, doesn't mean they are a "better slave" than someone that doesn't want that and listed it as a "demand" when they were looking. We all have different dynamics and while I do repspect their place to have it that way, I ask that those of us that don't aren't called "players" when we expect different things.

A slave is a slave, a sub is a sub..sometimes one can change to be the other...but we all live our lives in a different way, not one better, nor one worse.

Kasha

nowhere did i mention or imply anything about one type of slave being any better or worse than the other. different Masters require different things of their property, that goes without saying.

********my point was really regarding personality. a person who is either naturally submissive OR who yearns to be a slave, is not the sort of person who is going to be "demanding" anything. making clear their needs and desires? sure. but outright demanding things of people? that's just not a submissive or slave-to-be like quality.****

agreed totally daddysprop...totally

_____________________________

BEHIND EVERY GREAT WOMAN...
...is a butt she can learn to love.

(in reply to daddysprop247)

Post #: 18

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 4:11:05 PM

amlonging

Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

"Not really sure what slave does not put their Owners gratifications of any nature above their own.
If the slave enjoys the situation at the same time..then it's a bonus."

I have read many submissives and esp slave profiles that read...
"I want...."
"I need..."
and go on with a list of things they demand.
Since when does a slave do this?
How about if i said I WANT and NEED my owners gratification of any nature to be above my own?
Would that make my WANTS and NEEDS acceptable?

I cannot tell the tone by which you questioned...
But I truly do believe that if a woman has it within herself to say..
"i am a submissive who wants and needs to know that my Dom is
satisfied and gratified with me in all ways, then that is my want and need first of all...."
is a better approach versus ... "i am a submissive/slave who demands to be gratified first, that i am treated like a princess for I am worth it...."
As a switch I long for chat with a woman who expresses the first, not the last. For as daddysprop explains....... but outright demanding things of people? that's just not a submissive or slave-to-be like quality.

_____________________________

BEHIND EVERY GREAT WOMAN...
...is a butt she can learn to love.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 19

RE: a slave and the Owner's gratifications - 12/14/2006 4:21:26 PM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline

No, it wasnt written in a bad way. I do find it curious though that my wants and needs are perfectly ok with you as long as they fit in with your ideals.

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to amlonging)

Post #: 20

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